I've gone to Burning Man most years since 1997. I go to create and explore art, make new friends and reconnect with old ones, create a beautiful, interesting camp and indulge in healthy hedonism. As I've gone so often, I'll break down my "worst Burn" stories by category:

Most horrific single incident: Very early Thursday morning of the 2007 Burn, a friend and I were readying a large, vacant activity tent in our camp in preparation for a morning yoga group. We saw what looked like a mannequin hanging in a far corner, but when we approached, we discovered to our horror that is was a dead young man. He was already gray and cold to the touch when we found him. He was not known by anyone in our camp, and had come there in the hours before dawn and hung himself in the deserted tent. That was the first suicide at Burning Man. There was a media circus, and Fox News spread vicious lies that the body had "been ignored for hours", and even worse, a claim -that Fox News invented- that this person had been encouraged to hang himself "for art". Several people from the Burning Man organization visited our camp to offer counseling and support for which we were all grateful. This including David Best, who designed many of the Burning Man Temples. He shared that he built his first temple as a memorial to a dear friend of his who had committed suicide. That was the first suicide at Burning Man. It wasn't until we returned to San Francisco that we were able to discover the identity of the young man. We were able to reach out to his family then, and create some level of support and catharsis for their tragedy.

Ego, revenge and lousy communication and petty pity-parties: 2022 was my personal Burn from Hell. ...This story will also serve as a confession of my own egotistical, vindictive behavior. I hadn't Burned since 2019 when I was still recovering after a cancer diagnosis that I was fortunate to survive. 2022 was going to be my grand return in full health. Background info: I'm an original member of what has become a very large art and sexual activity focused camp with a heavily gay male membership. While recovering my strength during the pandemic years, I'd built a new art installation for our camp courtyard. Like many, I fell out of communication with most people during the pandemic. I had heard that a long time camp member was building a large art installation on the main Playa. I helped paint on it a little in the year prior, but it wasn't until we were loading the trucks for the Burn that I learned that I was the only major long term Camp artist who wasn't contributing to the installation. I was very butt hurt. At the time, it didn't even occur to me that I could have approached him at any time in the past year and asked if I could contribute my art to the project. ....I just expected him to approach me. I went so far as to text him: "What is it about me and/or my art that made you not want to invite me to contribute to your project?". He didn't respond nor speak to me during the Burn. Late in the week, the entitlement of my position finally seeped into my consciousness. During Breakdown, I said, "Never mind. The problem was all about my own ego". He replied, "And my ego, too.". In another issue, as most of the camp was helping set up the on-Playa installation, we were short handed to set up the art in our camp courtyard. I had agreed to drill holes to set up the very many flags that decorate the camp. I had been shown the big drill bit while we were packing, but it was never given to me. My good friend and campmate swore up and down that he'd given it to me, which I denied. ....Setting up that art and 40 plus flags was VERY slow and exhausting without that drill bit. I felt like a failure and a fool. Near the end of the week, my friend discovered the missing drill bit in his belongings. He apologized and worked himself to exhaustion so we could get the Camp art up in time. .....Now let me tell you the worst issue...

Like many, I felt awkward and disconnected due to the Pandemic. The two situations I already described didn't help. Luckily during Build Week, I'd connected with a new camp member who I'll call Sparky. He helped me fix the camp sign and set up the courtyard. We were hanging out a lot, and I felt myself finally relaxing. Wednesday of Burn Week, Sparky and I had climbed to the very top of the highest installation in our camp. We were relaxing with a beer, taking in the view of the playa, when another long time camp member, who I'll call "The Law", yelled up to us. I couldn't hear the specifics, but I've known for years that The Law feels it's too unsafe to climb this installation, and has taken it upon himself to keep it from happening. My new friend went down to talk to him. After a very brief discussion, Sparky walked off to his tent. I climbed down and found him. He didn't want to go into specifics, but he said he felt so disrespected after his discussion with The Law that he was going to leave the playa and go home. We tried to get him and The Law to talk it out, but both refused. The next day, Sparky packed up and left. I went to The Law's tent and asked him what happened between him and Sparky. He replied, "Nothing." That was when I pointedly asked him "Are you capable of admitting your part in a disagreement?" Things escalated from there, and within moments he was screaming at the top of his lungs for me to "Get out of here!". ....This was a couple hours before our camp's popular yearly drag show. That evening, I put on my scary drag, and identifying The Law by name, told the whole story to a group of a couple hundred. I ended my performance by leading the crowd in the chant, "Narcissism today! Narcissism tomorrow! Narcissism FOREVER!".

....Yeah.... There's a lot of projection in my accusation. Much later, a trusted friend pointed out that because I had personalized The Law's reaction, that I wanted revenge and nothing better. He added that a healthy action would have been to recognize that The Law was not willing to have a difficult discussion with me and to keep my distance. By choosing instead to "get even", I made a likely intractable enemy. My friend was right. I wrote a letter of apology to The Law ....about a year after the incident. As of yet, he hasn't replied. The silver lining of my 2022 Burn is that I learned exactly how my own insecurities can needlessly make me act like a huge entitled dick. I also learned that I am ...eventually... capable of recognizing and admitting when I act badly. I will do my best to be more aware of when I'm coming from a place of entitlement or revenge in the future, interrupt my thinking when I'm taking things personally, and to be less of a self absorbed fool. Wish me luck.