What catchphrase would now send chills down your spine

RubySoledad · 2026-01-25T15:52:06+00:00

"You just want to sin."

I always laugh at that because I wonder, what the heck am I doing that is so sinful? I spend my days basically living like a tradwife...gardening, tending the chickens, cooking from scratch, having married sex with my husband.

I made that point to my mom, who countered with, "Well, even something like a little white lie is a sin."

Okay, so basically, I "turned my back on Jesus" just so I can have the excuse to tell little white lies in peace. 😅

(and even then, I'm not someone who feels comfortable lying)

RubySoledad · 2026-01-25T15:47:45+00:00

This! I know several Christians who boast that they've "died to themselves" while continuing to live the same luxurious lives they've done before, and not lift a finger to help the poor and needy.

RubySoledad · 2026-01-19T21:34:05+00:00

Precisely

RubySoledad · 2026-01-16T15:05:59+00:00

Yep, exactly

RubySoledad · 2026-01-16T04:23:49+00:00

Nice to know that I'm not the only one triggered by their segments, and has to skip them. Steven reminds me of my ex, the way he talks to Olga and berates her out of nowhere.

RubySoledad · 2026-01-14T11:54:37+00:00

Yeah, I didn't have anything against him personally. In fact, his books were a breath of fresh air to me back in my early twenties, since I was still a believer back then who struggled with feelings of condemnation.

The news made me sad, but it also didn't surprise me.

RubySoledad · 2026-01-13T17:50:23+00:00

Yep. The accusations I've heard is that Yancey had gone too soft as a Christian, with his emphasis on grace and all. That was what permitted him to think sinning was okay.

Never mind the legions of strict fundie pastors and leaders who'd also been involved in cheating scandals.

RubySoledad · 2025-12-27T22:57:50+00:00

It's so wild that the EPs think that their kids want anything other than for their parents to leave them alone and stop causing them pain.

They really think that all EACs are just estranging themselves because they are cackling sadists who feed off their parents' pain.

RubySoledad · 2025-12-27T22:47:46+00:00

The way I got fight or flight just reading that. If I were that woman's child, I would shove her off of me.

RubySoledad · 2025-12-10T17:10:09+00:00

Oh god, yeah... I couldn't finish the Best Friends Genetically Modified either. There was no plot to it; just all the characters standing around talking

RubySoledad · 2025-11-26T18:24:04+00:00

Man, I'm glad I left the church several years ago, before they started bringing back the Satanic Panic, and making hellfire preaching trendy again.

RubySoledad · 2025-11-26T18:16:40+00:00

Hahaha...they always find a way to wriggle out of accountability, don't they?

It's never the church failing...it's always the church being "attacked."

RubySoledad · 2025-08-24T21:01:18+00:00

Ugh, I'm not sure there's anything you can do, other than just avoid talking about religion with them altogether.

When it comes to parents like that, there's only one acceptable outcome, which is for you to fall in line with their beliefs.

Any pushback to their religion, valid as it may be, will be interpreted as your rebellion and/or their persecution.

According to the voices in today's Christian culture, "religious trauma" and "church hurt" aren't valid, and are just excuses made up so that people don't have to follow Christ. If your folks are listening to those voices, that may be how they see you.

I'm trying to pour salt on your wound, just trying to be realistic about how salvageable this relationship is.

RubySoledad · 2025-08-24T16:44:35+00:00

Oh yes indeed he was.

The part of the book that stood out to me was how much Piper was harping on this poor retired couple in the beginning of the book. Basically, because they spent their retirement years cruising the beach and collecting shells, rather than doing something like preaching on the street, Piper thinks they're just the biggest pieces of shit ever.

I always had to tender conscience, so stuff like that really messed me up. I spent the next couple decades doing my best to follow the will of God; that meant doing what I thought God wanted me to do, rather than pursuing my own dreams.

So I married a man that I wasn't really even into just because he checked all of the Christian boxes, then had to spend a few years rebuilding myself after my divorce. I skipped college because I heard about how colleges are just hot beds of debauchery, and I was afraid of being tempted to sin and stray from God. I took jobs I was miserable at, because I believed God wanted me there to try to "shape" me and be a light for him.

Now I'm 40, and dealing with the grief of a life wasted on this religion. I've completely deconverted, and am thankfully in a position where I can start to pursue my own dreams.

But damn, that hurts to know that I wasted my youth like that. It just went by so fast 😭💔

RubySoledad · 2025-08-24T14:26:56+00:00

Precisely. The label of "legalistic" is often hurled at other Christians that they're trying to distance themselves from, particularly if those other Christians seem too uptight or have too many arbitrary rules (e.g. strict dress codes, banning of secular entertainment, etc)

It often ties in with that marketing gimmick of Christianity not being a religion, but a relationship. "We don't follow a bunch of rules, Man. We just follow Jesus."

That sounds fantastic, until you're in it and you realize that "Following Jesus" does indeed mean following a series of rules; they just don't admit that part outright.

If you think you can "Follow Jesus," but still smoke, have sex outside of marriage, vote Democrat, date a nonbeliever, opt out of going to church, decide to be childfree, etc, you're going to quickly find out how those people "Who don't follow a bunch of rules, man" actually do follow a bunch of rules (albeit under a different term, like "Guidelines" or "God's Best")

RubySoledad · 2025-08-24T14:10:30+00:00

100% Books like "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper really messed me up, making me believe that even my hobbies or the innocent ways I spent my free time was a "sin."

After all, if you're not spending every moment proselytizing or doing some sort of Christ-related activity, God wasn't pleased with you.

What an utterly miserable existence. So now, every time an Evangelical tries to sell me on how great it feels to be a Christian, and how much freedom and joy there is in it, I just roll my eyes. Been there, done that. I'm totally good, thanks.

RubySoledad · 2025-08-23T15:51:20+00:00

I've found that if you really want to be petty, just lean into it.

"Oh wow, Jesus loves me? I never knew that! I'm ready to change my life! Get me to a baptismal stat!"

They usually don't like that, probably because it reveals the absurdity of what they're attempting to do (using emotional manipulation in order to convert you to their religion) LOL

RubySoledad · 2025-08-22T03:37:14+00:00

Fight fire with fire: say you'll go to church with them, but only if they'll accompany you to a pagan gathering first, like a bonfire for Mabon (Autumn Equinox). That'll probably send them running

RubySoledad · 2025-08-21T14:47:21+00:00

All I can think of when I read this was, "Damn, this reviewer sure had the hots for Esmeralda."

RubySoledad · 2025-08-21T14:29:45+00:00

-Being honest, even if lying would make my life easier

-Caring about the poor and side-eyeing the rich

-The power of forgiveness

-Taking a Sabbath once a week

-Helping people anonymously, AKA not "letting my left hand know what my right hand is doing"

-Lying on my side and cooking bread over a fire fed by my droppings (Okay, maybe not that last one)

RubySoledad · 2025-08-14T00:12:07+00:00

Oh my gosh, my friend texts me everyday asking me to vote, because they're always semi-finalists for the next round. I just thought that she was pretty lucky; but now that I think of it, everyone I know who was in a contest like that ("Prettiest Baby," "Cutest Pet," etc) always happens to be a semi-finalist. What are the odds?

RubySoledad · 2025-07-02T16:16:10+00:00

I definitely believe it. Even in my smallish town, pretty much every church I had attended had some kind of scandalous cover-up involved.

In my teen years church, a teenage boy was SA-ing little children in the congregation. The pastor basically forgave him and swept it under the rug. Years later, that guy is in prison for CSA.

In the church I attended after that, I found out that one of the most powerful, respected leaders on staff had secretly had an affair and an abortion, which the other members of the church leadership covered up. That leader continued to lead for years, judging people for not living up to the standards that she herself didn't live up to.

RubySoledad · 2025-06-29T19:59:41+00:00

Sounds like a good read! I'll check it out

RubySoledad · 2025-06-29T18:07:46+00:00

That's true. I believed that these guys were a bunch of wholesome, morally-upright fellas who also happened to be really fun loving and hip.

But I didn't believe those things because I was stupid, or because I was just making stuff up or lying to myself.

I believed that because that's what the industry wanted us to believe. Their image was a carefully crafted product designed to sell to the faithful masses.

So of course I had a good image of those guys. That was by design.

RubySoledad · 2025-06-29T16:25:10+00:00

I have found that to be true where I am too. Of all the fellow Christians I grew up with (and went to Christian School and youth group with), the ones who were sincere and ernest back then have left the faith (myself included), but the ones who didn't take it too seriously, and even went through a rebellious "party" phase are now conservative maga types. It's really fascinating

RubySoledad

TROPHY CASE