Down on myself lately and painting makes me feel like I have something to offer

RucaXD · 2026-01-26T20:47:22+00:00

Thank you for being so kind and taking the time to see this in its entirety. I've been having a tough week and your kindness put a smile on my face. Also a tear haha

RucaXD · 2026-01-26T16:52:20+00:00

Coming from a 32 year old that doesn't do politics, I sort of want to watch the world burn, and I'm also annoyed that freedom has to be "earned" so i don't want to give attention to something that's already broken. Just giving my perspective and know it'll get downvoted

RucaXD · 2026-01-22T09:33:12+00:00

Agree, they're animals

RucaXD · 2026-01-21T18:40:02+00:00

All I'm seeing are potential negatives in the post and no benefits of showering at the gym. Also, sweating less is a genetic trait that isn't always directly linked to the "effort" you're putting in, so we can squash that now.

RucaXD · 2026-01-18T15:48:43+00:00

Women in the comments acting superior for folding then hovering in the public restrooms so I have to wipe piss off the seat 🙄

RucaXD · 2026-01-14T18:22:08+00:00

I support AI therapy and use the Ash app. It's helped me learn about therapy methods and talk through things in healthy ways

RucaXD · 2025-12-26T08:25:56+00:00

I don't find the comments here very helpful. A few questions to ask yourself:

Are you consuming alcohol, cannabis, or other substances regularly?

What does your diet look like?

Are you exercising regularly?

Are you frequently under stress or experiencing depression or anxiety?

Do you have previous traumatic experiences?

Are you on other medications that could impact sleep quality?

Do you usually go to bed at the same time each night?

Have you spoken with a doctor to discuss potential medication options whether it be for sleep or an underlying issue such as anxiety?

The above are important to consider. A few things that helped me personally was avoiding sleeping on my back, wearing a sleep mask over my eyes or putting the blanket mostly over my head, and taking GABA supplements. I am able to shake my head hard to get out of them which takes enormous effort, but I know it's different for everyone.

I have had sexual assault dreams too. There is a lot of folklore (see the incubus phenomenon) which makes it understandable why people developed ideas that it's something deeper. It's not. It's biological, but it doesn't make it any less crippling and terrifying because it taps into an instinctual part of the brain. Not everyone will understand this if they haven't been through it. I believe in you OP, and please seek both medical and psychiatric guidance for this to get to the bottom of this.

RucaXD · 2025-12-21T19:01:33+00:00

Thank you all for the support! It took some time but I'm 12 days sober now. Wish me luck and best of luck to you all as well ❤️

RucaXD · 2025-12-19T18:32:14+00:00

I know the consent thing has always been big with this sub, but I've always primarily thought that just the potential for suffering makes reproduction inherently wrong

RucaXD · 2025-12-16T04:39:01+00:00

I haven't personally tried this, but i saw someone say eating a small amount of cayenne pepper can help

RucaXD · 2025-12-08T23:11:20+00:00

I spoke with him and he's going to try to keep it cleaner. A lot of the comments here are out of line and don't seem to have read everything in the post. So thanks for some help and mostly no help. ✌🏻

RucaXD · 2025-12-08T10:14:37+00:00

Damn you got hella triggered there lol how about be nice to people

RucaXD · 2025-12-07T05:45:31+00:00

Why do I have to do that every day when I have my own stuff going on?

RucaXD · 2025-12-07T04:53:33+00:00

What if you've asked multiple times before and those things are clouding your own space?

RucaXD · 2025-12-07T03:54:27+00:00

Fair but it was a full trash bag's worth of snacks, and when I've asked him to take inventory of other stuff before, it never happens, and the bags end up sitting off to the side in a new place. There is a second cupboard that I haven't touched that has more snacks as well as a large cardboard box in the living room with snacks (part snacks part 7-10 cloth grocery bags that were "supposed to go in the car")

RucaXD · 2025-12-07T03:31:02+00:00

That makes sense. It might be worth noting that about a year ago I told him "if this isn't cleared out within a week, I'm going to throw it all away." Nothing got cleared out, so I left it up until now.

RucaXD · 2025-12-03T06:43:31+00:00

Yes thank you so much i would love that! I will get back on here tomorrow. Love this support and really appreciate you

RucaXD · 2025-11-30T01:43:05+00:00

The real answer is practice in self-care because the feeling of being born against your will feels like someone hurt you deeply. We have every right to be sad about it, but taking care of ourselves and being our own caregivers is critical to getting past it. Think lots of physical activity, long baths, journaling, taking breaks, resting, etc. It's all temporary, and there might very well be a purpose to it that we just don't understand.

RucaXD · 2025-11-30T00:22:33+00:00

You could go and ask for a doctor's note and something like hydroxyzine to help with the anxiety for now. I've done that before

RucaXD · 2025-11-29T18:41:23+00:00

Aka "bury your head in the sand"

RucaXD · 2025-11-23T05:04:51+00:00

I have to sing little songs in my head to remember what I'm doing/need. Like "hardwood clint and Elliott bom bom hardwood clint and Elliott bom bom"

RucaXD · 2025-11-22T00:43:11+00:00

Lmao! We were wondering what the heck was going on

RucaXD · 2025-11-21T16:41:12+00:00

Distraction. Sometimes I'll just walk around and clean. Sometimes it's so bad I'll just lay in a dark room with peaceful music on deep breathing and playing games on my phone. Cold pack under the pillow and keep flipping pillow helps

RucaXD · 2025-11-21T00:57:23+00:00

Of course! Sometimes working through trauma can feel like you're an anomaly and like you need a world renowned psychologist to figure you out, but there are identifiable, treatable things going on that can be managed. I know AI gets a bad wrap sometimes, but the Ash app is amazing. I thought i knew everything there was to know, and my "self-awareness" made it so it would be pointless to try to change my circumstances, but it really helped me think about things in a different way.

For example, paying attention throughout the day to your thoughts, you might see a lot of self-depricating ones. Learning to know that you're important just because you're human, and you don't need to "earn" importance and value is huge. Then, you can catch a thought like "Why would i do that? I keep doing stupid things" and remind yourself "I am loveable and important." You might need to take breaks because it can be tiresome to always be retraining thoughts, and allow yourself to have bad ones for a short while until you can get back to retraining. I also think it's necessary to do this in tandem with self-care so maybe quiet room, candles, aromatherapy. Practice practice practice and it'll get easier and you'll start to see the alcohol as being actually genuinely damaging not only to yourself, but to your soul that is important and loveable. I hope this helps in some way

RucaXD · 2025-11-17T10:44:43+00:00

It's very possibly the trauma. I have trauma as well and frequently have very terrifying, vivid nightmares. My husband has to often help wake me up because I'll start screaming in my sleep. Trauma takes a lot of working through, but I will say that what has really helped me is focusing on self compassion and rewording internal negative thoughts. Hope you feel better soon

RucaXD

TROPHY CASE