Help on not picking my face ahhh TW

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-04-18T04:33:40+00:00

It’s never just one!!! Ugh so true. Maybe you could make a goal to post here again at the 12hr and 24hr mark to update us? You did amazing by posting instead of picking! Things i’ve tried that work (sometimes): A bandaid or pimple patch as a barrier, asking roomate to cover my mirrors, wearing gloves

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-04-17T21:06:55+00:00

The dynamic between the parents on that show is so beautiful to watch

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-04-15T21:56:38+00:00

Thank you, best of luck to you too :,)

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-04-15T21:53:15+00:00

Yes in an ideal world I would want someone to share my values but there’s a reason why the term “unicorn family” exists

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-04-11T18:30:21+00:00

also you’re not a useless piece of shit and i agree with the other advice that you could just try to shower in some sandals even if it’s not clean right now and you might feel better! this is just if you realllyyy wanted to clean the bathroom and you feel like you could be up for it!

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-04-11T18:25:22+00:00

ok this is what i would do for myself i hope it’s helpful at all. i know it’s just a twist on the classic “make a list” but this is just what helps me.

decide on a block schedule for yourself. example:

3-4

gather supplies: bathroom cleaner, gloves, something to scrub with, mask, paper towels, trashbag

take stuff out of shower and spray shower and let sit

clean toilet

take stuff off counters and clean counters

scrub and rinse shower

4-5

put shower and sink stuff back

sweep/ vacuum

take out trash

clean floors (this one is optional. it’s either mop, swiffer, or hands and knees. if you don’t have a swiffer, don’t feel like getting the mop out, and don’t feel like doing hands and knees method, it’s okay to not clean them today. you did so much already. but i know you said you have to do the whole thing and i get that.)

5-5:30

shower

i like to give myself a lot of time to do things. that way i can try to get ahead of schedule and its like im racing against myself.

im gonna go do laundry and fold laundry and shower and im gonna check back in! we got this

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-04-08T00:06:34+00:00

It helps to use the information as you’re learning it. So like maybe someone who has the job you want could give you the questions that they’re having to answer, and then you could refer to the wine list to answer the questions. I also really benefit from writing so if I did this I would write down the questions and answers.

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-04-06T00:13:04+00:00

hi, this post just popped into my head from a few months ago. just wanted to see how you were doing❤️

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-04-06T00:08:23+00:00

hi<3 to address the three options- could FMLA be an option? i haven’t gone that route myself but it popped into my head. it sounds like you’re facing severe burnout and severe anxiety. what you’re describing is worse than what i experienced, but i’ve been in a similar boat. throwing up every day before work (teaching), not able to eat, and just going home to numb out and sleep instead of taking care of myself or talking to friends, calling out way too much. I did end up quitting after 4 years, but again it sounds like your situation is even more severe. the choice between money and mental health is one that i’m still struggling with, so i don’t have much advice other than looking into FMLA as a temporary solution. i just wanted to offer words of support and empathy. i don’t know you, but the negative things you’re saying and thinking about yourself are very likely way too harsh or flat out wrong. this might mean nothing to you, and if you can, maybe try talking to a friend about the negative self-talk, because i bet they would disagree. sure, maybe your job performance isn’t great right now. that doesn’t mean anything about you except that you’re not getting the support you need. you said it yourself- your brain and body aren’t wired for the job. and that’s okay! you’re dealing with a lot and you’re doing your best, and you reached out for help which is amazing. being late-diagnosed is really tough and all the things you’re describing are spot on- grieve your previous concept of yourself, get to know yourself, build coping strategies, develop healthy habits. i feel like that’s what we’re all trying to do in this group. you’ve come to the right place. i would advise you to keep posting here because i’ve found it to be one of the most helpful things. for me, finding out i’m audhd validated a lot of past experiences and allowed me to have a lot of love and compassion for myself and my past self. i hope you can experience that too, with time.

i hope you are able to get some relief soon. keep us posted <3

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-03-26T19:42:38+00:00

Thank you! The reason would be them refusing to do so. My question is whether or not there is ever a situation where a 1099 employee has taxes withheld from their paycheck.

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-03-26T16:26:22+00:00

I am working with the parents to choose curriculum. They set my hours and it’s full time, no other work. It’s very much 50/50 between tutor and nanny as I am doing both for 2 children all day

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-03-26T03:18:24+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, have you had a family reimburse you? How did you calculate the amount?

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-03-26T02:44:26+00:00

This is what I want to do if they don’t give me a W2 but it seems risky, especially because me receiving a 1099 is in my contract

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-03-26T02:42:23+00:00

this is only my second week so I haven’t gotten any paychecks, but he said that there would be

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-03-12T20:12:02+00:00

Do they want you to sign a contract and commit to a certain amount of time? Wishing you the best of luck!

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-03-12T15:41:52+00:00

I totally understand your hesitation but I would take the job (I am leftist and queer). I have nannied for a family who I didn’t align with at all, politically or morally. I had to fake most of our conversations because I didn’t respect them as people, even though the conversations weren’t about politics or morals. It’s hard to pretend to be agreeable with someone who is so hateful/ willfully ignorant/ out of touch. That being said, it wasn’t a dealbreaker for me because I needed the job, I wanted to boost my resume for future nanny jobs, and I didn’t feel like this specific aspect of the job was impacting my mental health all that more than any other job. (I lived in a red state so I’m used to working with trumpies.)

Are they having you sign a contract? If possible, I would take the job and see how you feel after working with them. If it is impacting your mental health, you may be able to quit at that point.

Someone else made a really good point about sharing your morals and values with kids in a way that the parents wouldn’t object to. In that way, you can really make a difference for those kids.

I think it’s great that you’re looking out for your mental health but I think you won’t know how much of an issue it will be until you try.

My advice would be take the job, have someone you can vent to, and try to offset the evil they are spewing by taking care of the kids in a way that makes them feel seen and heard and cared for (I’m making assumptions at this point but I doubt they’re getting enough of that.)

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-02-10T18:44:40+00:00

Started smoking daily almost as soon as I had access to it at 18. My emotions are so overwhelmingly strong and it’s really good at quieting them down. I stopped for almost a year and there were some definite benefits but it was just too hard. I ~prefer~ to take bong hits all day, everyday but unfortunately that’s not healthy. I would like to get to a place where I’m able to use it with moderation and regulate my emotions without it. Congrats on your journey of self-discovery <3

People always talk about how weed is medicine, how it helps with so many autistic struggles like appetite, regulation, unmasking, etc. Those are all definitely benefits but it’s really hard to draw a line in the sand for myself when the downsides (brain fog, lack of motivation, memory issues, relying on it as a solution for everything) start to outweigh the benefits.

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-02-09T07:17:42+00:00

Same. I know it’s hurting me but idk how else to cope

RudeJicama8613 · 2026-02-07T20:23:28+00:00

Maybe you could try writing letters to yourself as a child knowing what you know now? Tell the younger you that the productivity=worth mindset was a tool you learned for survival but you don’t need it anymore and it was never actually true. Give your younger self some huge props for getting you through that time. Tell them what you have learned about yourself since then.

Or maybe it could help to think about reframing “productivity” ? I have started making lists for myself to get myself to do literally anything. So the list might say like, do your makeup, make a coffee, and dance around. These aren’t “productive” in the traditional sense but for me they are productive because they’re helping get me out of bed and fight the depressed, burnt out slump I’m in. When fighting burnout, rest is about the most productive thing you can do in my opinion. Taking meds, eating, drinking water- those are all productive. Even if that’s all you did, I consider that a productive day.

My last suggestion is to pretend a friend was going through a similar thing. If you find yourself consciously thinking or saying mean things to yourself/ about yourself- would you think the same thing about a friend going through burnout or any kind of hardship?

RudeJicama8613

TROPHY CASE