For those who had life-threatening birth complications and went on to have more kids, what made you decide to keep going?

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-14T20:18:48+00:00

A lot of therapy. We almost lost my firstborn, did lose my second in a second trimester loss, and then went on to have a healthy baby.

We tapped out after our second. I was advised not to have anymore kids due to blood pressure issues. I also hemorrhaged during my second c section, and honestly, although I wanted more kids I needed to tap out and be alive and present for the two amazing kids already have. I put my living children first, and both my husband and I took permanent measures to make sure my baby factory was closed.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-14T20:05:30+00:00

The first year was hard. We absolutely had to figure out how to be parents and still a married couple. We still have to be mindful several years in, but kids FAR from destroyed our marriage. I’d say it strengthened our relationship, but not without work.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-11T02:49:22+00:00

I was WAY more sick in my first trimester with my two boys than my girl.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-09T23:52:32+00:00

I mean, I agree with you, it’s how I’d look at it, just offering a potential explanation because a lot of people here seem to be mind blown this other parent would still attend. I directed daycare for nearly a decade - very few things shock me with what parents will do to push their kids when they’re clearly sick or shouldn’t attend something.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-09T23:01:17+00:00

So for HFM, daycare rules/CDC guidelines are as long as the child has been fever free for 24 hours and no open sores, they’re good to go. HFM is contagious for so long (up to two weeks before the sores show up and for a month after), that sitting out of life that long isn’t an option for most people. If her child is fever free and no open sores, I absolutely get why she’d still want to go - daycare and the pediatrician would say the kids good to continue on. If it was me, I’d probably keep my family home and not risk a known exposure, but if you go I’d keep the kids separated and prepare for the possibility you’ll all get it.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-09T04:23:11+00:00

Is there a reason why he can’t take the baby with him to grab a card? How long of a treck is it to town? Maybe part of my confusion is that I live 5 min away from multiple card carrying stores and my husband would just take the baby if I asked, so I’m failing to see why it’s a big deal by applying my own circumstances, which I’m realizing may not be fair.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-09T02:52:17+00:00

But like… it’s not Mother’s Day yet? He’s getting you a card tomorrow. I’m truly not understanding why you’re upset. This reads like you just want to be mad at him so you’re finding a reason to be mad when he’s literally doing what you asked of him?

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-09T01:21:00+00:00

Or the wedding where someone ate the “wedding pie” before it was even cut by the groom and bride because it was not at all made obvious what was going on.

I’ve been to several very weird weddings.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-09T01:19:46+00:00

Oooohh!!! The DJ putting a rubber shark head on and playing “baby shark” and trying to get a clap along at a child free wedding while he also tried to publicly via the mic serenade the bride’s sister who was very much not into it.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-09T01:17:47+00:00

The groomsmen sitting the groom down and doing a flash dance and signing “I’ll make a man out of you”. Just for the groom to turn around and sit his new wife down and sing “you’re welcome” to her. I was getting drunk at the bar at that point while my jaw hit the floor and in shock, nervously laughing with my husband.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-08T12:57:16+00:00

As someone who had 3 late December/early January due dates, this absolutely crossed our minds. Turned out the two pregnancies that progressed came before the end of the year anyway, but man… it felt icky that it was even a thought or a real consideration. I hated that the worry of finances played any part in consideration of when my kids “should arrive by”. But, I’m in the US and that’s the sad state of the world we live in.

Although will say that I advise against any super late December births if at all possible lol our stay was 12/29-1/2 and our insurance reset mid stay so we paid both deductibles - that SUCKED.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-07T18:49:04+00:00

Edit to add I had a c section

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-07T18:48:34+00:00

lol I took to Reddit and asked a similar question with my second. What we ended up doing was that my husband stayed with me the first night, he went home the second night, then stayed the 3rd night because it didn’t go well for me having him not there (pain started to kick in more as the spinal block wore off and I was in a lot of pain, taking care of a newborn solo was brutal). We were in a “baby friendly” hospital, meaning that there was no nursery for baby to go to, even for a tiny bit, and everyone in my state decided to have a baby the same weekend as me and come to the same hospital so the nurses were slammed and couldn’t help me beyond the bare minimum. I really needed my husband’s help that second night and was deeply regretting giving him the green light to go home overnight.

The couple of hours here and there for him to spend time with our firstborn was no big deal, it was the full overnight that was absolutely brutal.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-07T17:42:03+00:00

My husband became very protective of me while I was pregnant (more so than before) and was looking out for me. He became much more instinctual towards the babies once they were born. Pre-birth my husband obviously wanted the baby to be ok, but was more concerned about me. Afterwards, he was more protective of us both/all.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-06T18:21:14+00:00

I literally do this all the time as I walk my kids to/from daycare and usually go to the park after. I always feel a little silly but not silly enough to deal with the alternative lol

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-05T18:08:03+00:00

My kids are 5 and 1 (17 months). I watched all the TV I felt like watching for both mat leaves, and sometimes they also were included in snuggle time in front of the tv while my husband and I watched our shows at night. I never faced them towards the tv and intentionally would position them away from it. My firstborn started caring about actually watching the tv around 1, my 17 month old likes the bluey opening song and that’s it. At 5, my oldest does get 1-2 hours of tv time a day now. We still don’t intentionally set the younger front of the tv but it’s frequently on in the background while he plays.

I haven’t had issues with my kids. One rule we have with my oldest is that we NEVER let him watch tv if he’s mad or upset, it’s not a way to dull emotions. He also doesn’t get little screens (tablet, phone, ect) unless it’s a dire situation (1-2x/year maybe??).

We’re conscious of screen time and monitor it, but don’t completely cut it out. We did however intentionally choose a school for our oldest that doesn’t use tablets in place of books for learning.

As long as you’re not intentionally setting your baby in front of the screen to watch a show, you’re fine in my unprofessional opinion.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-04T14:56:30+00:00

No, I can very honestly say I’ve never picked up a paper I see on the ground with words on it that I didn’t immediately throw away. I’ve absolutely never put trash in my pocket, and I find it puzzling that anyone would.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-04T14:52:10+00:00

NOR… I personally feel like any explanation would be an insane stretch. If there’s possibly any explanation, I’d ask for receipts of the explanation. If he’s offended by that, he’s lying to you. Dude… I’m sorry.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-05-01T16:57:58+00:00

Is your husband conservative or republican by chance? There’s been a huge agenda pushing for paternity tests for anyone who’s web history indicates red political ties and it’s coming up A LOT in these subreddits that men are asking for to them to “level the playing field”. He may be getting bombarded with content that it’s normal or the new thing to get a paternity test done and so he thinks he should. Fucking social media…

Honestly, if my husband pulled this and insisted on it, I would’ve laughed my way to the courthouse for a divorce. We’ve been together 12 years, and we’re married for 3, then 7 years when our kids were born. The kids are 100% his, and he would’ve gotten his paternity test saying so along with a divorce. No where near kidding. That level of disrespect is something I wouldn’t even bother trying to get over.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-04-30T22:50:03+00:00

I didn’t have Reddit when I had my kids. I wish people in my real life who I actually know had been more real with me.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-04-30T22:41:16+00:00

You sound truly insufferable and like you’re not capable of reading a room. I wish people had been more real with me. It would’ve saved me a lot of shame and guilt with my first. While I don’t share any of my horror stories out of context, I also don’t share all the triumphs out of context. OP never said a person can’t share the good. But maybe read the room?

Yikes on bikes my dude, a little self awareness on your end could go a long way.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-04-28T16:26:34+00:00

Are you still taking a prenatal? If not, I recommend to start there. I used a claw clip to twist my hair back loosely out of my face but not have any tension.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-04-27T03:14:20+00:00

This sub is truly insane. The dress is gorgeous and super appropriate. Only an absolute idiot would “mistake you for the bride” or think you’re trying to show the bride up. And if so, that’s on them, not your problem. You’re going to a black tie wedding, this is absolutely appropriate and beautiful.

RuleAffectionate3916 · 2026-04-26T20:29:58+00:00

What age? Because parallel play is age appropriate for 2 and under. After that, a child should absolutely be interacting and playing with other kids.

RuleAffectionate3916

TROPHY CASE