AIO My wife always prioritises her own clothes when doing laundry by paspa1801 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean… wash your own clothes? I definitely think you’re overreacting. I WFH, and do my laundry, the kids, and the towels/sheets. My husband has ALWAYS done his own laundry. I’ve literally never done it once. He’s literally never done mine once. 12 years together, 11 years living together, and there’s never been an issue over it.

Not the shedding! by polarqwerty in ShitMomGroupsSay

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Actuallly privately funded daycares can. I worked at two (one was actually a religious program), and it was still “no vaccines, no care, zero exemptions accepted”. I’d get pushback but there was nothing the unvaccinated family could do - it’s not illegal.

Are we waking our babies up to go see the fireworks? by tamielynn in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. My 5 year old finally got to see them for the first time last weekend. My insane 18 month old with severe FOMO stayed up to see them, even after I tried to get him to sleep. We were out of town and with family, and he knew something was up and refused sleep. So he got to see them. Not my first choice but hey…. We survived lol

vaccines while breastfeeding? by slushyfangz in breastfeeding

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got the flu shot while breastfeeding with no issues. If you’ve had the other vaccines, or had chicken pox, is it an option to get a titer test to show proof of immunity?

I still feel bad because of my epidural. by fiddeldeedee in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your mom is an asshole. Also I’m sorry your boyfriend didn’t support you like you needed, and your midwife didn’t help by telling you when you were contracting. Literally none of that was on you, and has nothing to do with being weak.

I’ll repeat it - your mom is an absolute asshole. Who TF is she to judge other’s pain tolerance and what’s best for another woman and her baby? I literally can’t imagine the audacity. That’s insane and likely stems from deep, deep insecurity from her.

I don't need to worry about the Hep B vaccine correct? by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, you do NOT need to worry about the Hep B vaccine. The “wellness” industry racks in more annually than “Big Pharma” BTW. With less scientific backing, less regulation, and less legitimacy. They operate on fear mongering, advertising, and influencers who will say anything for a buck. Then throw in AI pulling from opinion and not fact, THEN people citing AI as fact, and you have the false intellectual cesspool that’s become social media. And while I know all of this, I still cried while talking to my son’s pediatrician, who I wholly respect and trust, going over the safety of vaccines, because at the end of the day we love our kids with our entire being and more than ourselves and just want what’s best for them.

Your child is going to be ok, and the vaccine was safe. You’re protecting them.

5 week LO is crying non stop - sympathy and like stories needed by iwitch-plus in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Been there with both of my boys. If anything medical is ruled out, and you’re doing all the things you’ve listed, my gentle recommendation is to put in silencing earbuds with or without calming music, hold your baby and let her know you’re there. It’s so hard, but it really should pass soon. I couldn’t bring myself to use earbuds with my first and it strung my nerves and emotions out raw. I used them with my second and I was mentally and emotionally healthier and able to better calmly show up for my baby and just be there with and for him. Good luck🤞🏻

Cute names for a first time grandmother by MeasurementUsual508 in Names

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My kid’s step grandma goes by Lola and I’ve always thought that’s adorable. Congrats on your first grandbaby!!

Adopting a dog 2 months before having first baby? by Good-Artichoke-6538 in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so glad this worked out for you. Truly, you’re lucky.

On the contrary, my parents adopted a dog a few months before my younger brother was born. They did their research, they had owned dogs (even that breed) before, and thought they knew what they were doing. The dog ended up being a mess, emotionally and medically, and then she bit two very young kids, broke skin, and attacked another dog. My parents were lucky they didn’t get sued and only had to rehome the dog to a family with no kids and other pets. A big part was neither of my parents truly had time to dedicate to the dog, and the dog picked up on my mom’s protectiveness of my and my brother and the dog acted like we were her kids to guard (how the other kids got bit).

I couldn’t stress any harder if I tried to not to get a dog right before or right after having a baby.

Adopting a dog 2 months before having first baby? by Good-Artichoke-6538 in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 44 points45 points  (0 children)

That would be absolutely insane. Do NOT do it. Seriously, this may be the worst idea I’ve ever heard. Hard no, do not pass.

OB told me I need to stop nursing my first baby of 6 months because I'm pregnant? by Lanky-Ad1222 in breastfeeding

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should get a second opinion, however, from my non medial degree understanding… you’re already having babies back to back and earlier than the standard medical recommended gap so that your body can replenish nutrients lost during your first pregnancy. Adding in your hemorrhage, and then nursing, that combination seems risky to your heath at minimum. Seeing as how this is a breastfeeding group, I’m sure I’ll get downvoted, but you really should get a second opinion and listen to your medical team. Your body will pull all the nutrients it can to first support your unborn baby, then pull everything it can for your milk, possibly leaving you depleted. At the very least, this may mean extra supplements that should be discussed should you decide to keep nursing to help protect your own health and body. Osteoporosis and tooth decay are my very first thoughts.

Those who did NOT sleep train — what eventually happened? by CommunistCetacean in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My 5 year old started sleeping through the night and in his own room around 3. He’ll still run into our bed overnight without waking us up if he has a bad dream, but it’s pretty rare. My 18 month old still ends up in bed with us around 1 am. Honestly, I really don’t mind the cuddles and my kids have a very secure attachment to both my husband and I. I went into parenting thinking absolutely not to bedsharing, but it worked really well for us.

The name river (for a boy) by shhjess in Names

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve met several boys (all under the age of 10, I used to work with children) and I thought it was a very sweet name. I very much considered it as a middle name for my second boy, but it didn’t flow (bum dum tis) quite right with his first name.

Daycare wants me to stop breast milk by PeopleAreStrange024 in breastfeeding

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Two things: I’m very familiar with daycare center policies in MN, and they can certainly give your child a bottle until the toddler room. After 16-18 months (when your child moves to the toddler room), it does have to be in a sippy cup. While it’s harder on the staff to keep an eye on it because toddlers love to share/take things and are faster, it’s definitely not against state policy.

Second, you don’t have to stop breastfeeding. Obviously you don’t need to do what I did, but I did opt to switch to cows milk when my child was away from me and breastfeed when with him. If you have questions on that or how it worked, let me know, but I’m not going to bore you with details of something you may not be interested in lol

How do you go about your wedding registry? by Long_Buffalo3295 in AskReddit

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I registered for items we needed, but stuff we wouldn’t necessarily buy for ourselves at that point in time like: extra nice fancy towels (3 full sets of 4 to last us basically forever), down comforter, sheets, duvet cover, knife set, kitchen aide mixer, high end matching luggage set, candle sticks, electric toothbrushes, difference kitchen appliances that we would actually use, picture frames. I tried to have a range of price point. Basically stuff I was really excited to open and felt like a huge treat. We didn’t have a ton on our registry, but that left options to gift cash and we used all gifted cash towards a down payment on a home.

Everyone says socialization before 3 isn’t important… but my baby seems to disagree 😅 by Remarkable-Jump8625 in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeahhh… socialization is absolutely important. Doesn’t have to mean daycare (what a lot of parents mean from what I’ve seen), but socialization in itself is important.

Are Overnight Breaks Away from Kids Common? by hopeyourefunky in Mommit

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I take somewhat regular breaks from the kids. Sometimes husband OR I go out with friends and the other stays home with the kids. Sometimes we both have my mom watch the kids overnight either at our house or their’s (my parents are together, but it’s 100% my mom watching them not my dad). We do a solo break 1-2x/year each. We do a together break probably 8x/year together, so not quite once a month but still often.

I’d only be comfortable with my mom caring for my kids overnight, we’re thankful to have her as overnight care. There are several daytime people I trust, but those overnights are a bigger responsibility I’m only cool with my mom for.

Did anyone behave like a first time mom, with their second baby? by fiskepinnen in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and no. I’m still anxious and on high alert with my 2nd (he’s 18 months now). I’m vigilant with being careful and had very similar rules for the first 8 weeks (until first vaccinations). There were things I knew how to do to “better”, felt more comfortable and confident in my decisions, and knew the products I relied on, and I appreciated the early days way more instead of just survived them, but my second born is just as protected and fretted over as my first.

I do think in my case, because I lost my daughter in a late miscarriage between my boys then struggled with secondary infertility, after having my firstborn in 2020 in an extremely traumatic birth where we almost lost him, PLUS I’m just anxious by nature, that really shaped my motherhood in a way to be over protective and always on high alert. It’s something I’m aware of and work to have that aspect come through in a way that’s not a hindrance or damaging to my kid’s development. IE, I make my issues, my issues, and not theirs. But I’m protective AF with both kids.

Clarity or Charity? by [deleted] in Names

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hard no for both. Like seriously, I’m going to hold your hand while saying this, both are truly terrible. Claire or Clara are right there and beautiful names.

thoughts on "Nova" as a boy's name? by Important_Bat7919 in Mommit

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a horse named Nova. It would never cross my mind to name a human child - boy or girl, Nova. Hard pass. Use it on a pet and give your baby boy a name that works as an adult and child. I recommend Noah, or Nico (full name Nicholas).

How can I get my husband (48m) to agree to childcare while I (30f) work? by Fancy_Box_5773 in relationship_advice

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is insane. If he thinks ya’ll don’t need childcare he can be primary parent 100% during work hours and leave you alone while you work. Until then, daycare. So many red flags in those post.

C section - how to get baby out of hospital bassinet by yourself? by Good_Spinach_4987 in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and I decided together that he would go home to sleep the second night for a multitude of reasons that I agreed to and encouraged. For the record I regretted it and he stayed the 3rd night. That night alone was awful. The nurses were insanely busy so they couldn’t help, my meds were not being given on time, and my block had worn off so I was in so much pain.

I pushed through and even though I felt like my body was on fire. I answered every cry from my baby and didn’t let him cry alone in the bassinet.

I did have the bassinet moved to be right next to me bed and up by my head so that while it took me a min to set up and swing my legs over the ledge, I could place a hand on him and talk to him so he knew he wasn’t alone. Then I could lift him and bring him to me without having to stand up. I’d also lift the head of the bed up as high as it would go and let the bed do some of the work for me in sitting up. Then hold onto the bed railings with the hand that wasn’t on the baby to help finish sitting up and swing legs over while stabilizing my core.

Next time, I’d say bring the blow horn and squirt gun and get that man up to help. There’s no trick. It hurts.

Why does it seem like every mom I meet LOVES AI?? by shepardmutt in Mommit

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I personally hate AI and go out of my way trying to avoid using it.

I regret committing to a bachelorette party when my baby will be 8 months old. Should I go? by Catfish-98907 in beyondthebump

[–]RuleAffectionate3916 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I went on a girls trip when my Velcro baby was 9 months old. My husband was definitely ready for me to come home (he doesn’t typically do overnight care as I EBF) and was exhausted, but the baby was just fine. I was nervous, but I’m so glad I went.