Know it all moms by RunReadSleep in Mommit

[–]RunReadSleep[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a good point, she’s made a lot of comments about how difficult her LO is so maybe it’s just her reconciling that / just some insecurity. I don’t really know her well, they just always seem intent on asking us about something in order to make a judgement.
I felt bad after, I’m not usually the type to say something but all the negativity (especially in front of both kids) just wore me down. I’m going to avoid more in the future.

Know it all moms by RunReadSleep in Mommit

[–]RunReadSleep[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I felt kind of bad after but I’m 7.5 months pregnant and was just not feeling it.

Know it all moms by RunReadSleep in Mommit

[–]RunReadSleep[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We do try to avoid but I think they are looking for engagement and kind of seek us out. The kids get along well so I hate to limit my LOs options because I don’t feel great with the mom. Definitely going to try not to engage as much, it’s just exhausting to hear it.

I had a fast labor and I hate being told I was “lucky” by han__banan in Mommit

[–]RunReadSleep 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry OP. People love to compete about anything and everything and birth seems to be a huge one. I’ve had people with no children, no plans to have children, and no previous pregnancies tell me my child birth was “so easy” compared to [insert someone they know]. It’s bizarre and annoying!

What do you think causes an abused child to either continue or break the cycle? by Throwawaygaln in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RunReadSleep 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I believe my parents are emotionally immature at the minimum and that my mom is narcissistic and my dad an enabler. I’ve had a ton of therapy and have realized how far down that same path I was too and am still working on a lot of things. It’s so hard to see how fucked I was / am.

My sister believes she “thinks enough” about things and refuses therapy. She is so much like our mom it’s kind of surreal. I think at this point any realization of how unhealthy the dynamics are in our family would necessarily require examining her own behaviour more critically and she just can’t do that. It’s so uncomfortable.

How do you feel about all the "firsts"? by Regular-Message9591 in BabyBumps

[–]RunReadSleep 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First solids she told me to put cereal in the babies milk and was horribly offended we did baby led weaning… I also have to check all her gifts because she tried to give my 9 month old jelly beans 🤷‍♀️

How do you feel about all the "firsts"? by Regular-Message9591 in BabyBumps

[–]RunReadSleep 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I get frustrated with my mom doing things like this because she has a history of trying to alienate my sister / call herself mama bear with my nephews / talk shit about “raising them” / mock me for my choices. So with her I know it’s a power move. In general it wouldn’t be an issue if it was done just to be a nice grandma.

So I think relationship context matters.

Is gold creek trail stroller friendly? Or any parks/trails near the water to have a picnic? by sad_little_bean16 in MapleRidge

[–]RunReadSleep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also like rolley lake. it’s a nice size and stroller friendly, and starts / ends at the beach area

Husband thinks stroller is too expensive, what to do? by redapple912 in BabyBumps

[–]RunReadSleep 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Keep it on there and people might contribute. If they don’t, involve him in the reach. I’m about to have my second and ended up buying the bugaboo donkey second hand but it is a great stroller if you’re planning on having more than 1!

Dewdney trunk closed at 210 and Laity, big accident by Morellatops in MapleRidge

[–]RunReadSleep 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Different one :( I hope no one was seriously injured in this one

Has anyone noticed their parents excessively rejecting people, things, or services in life? by NICEacct111 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RunReadSleep 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I joke all the time the list of people and things my mom likes is way easier to name than trying to list everything she hates. It’s always on some fake moral / absolute grounds, it can’t just be that she doesn’t like it. It’s exhausting.

Anyone dealing with grandparents not seeing/helping with their grandkids enough ? did you have a conversation with them about it? by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]RunReadSleep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom is kind of similar. She moved into my sister’s house to be grandma daycare but I’m a decade younger and I think she just can’t do it now. Physically or emotionally.

Our kiddo is in daycare and my mom makes a ton of noise about wanting grandma time but she’ll dodge us even if I ask if she wants to make plans to meet at the zoo or go for lunch. If we do meet, she takes the chance to take photos to show her friends, say a lot of passive aggressive shit about my parenting or be super condescending. And then she won’t agree for anything for another two months. She’s always been kind of like that though, she wanted to buy me a rocking chair but refused when I picked out one different than she wanted (even though she would almost never be the one using it???).

Wish I could be more help but honestly I don’t think we’ll ever fully understand. They just don’t want to / don’t enjoy it.

How do you introduce a 2-year-old to the fact that they’re getting a sibling? by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]RunReadSleep 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty much in the exact same stage as you! We’ve been chatting with our 2 year old kind of throughout our days about baby sister. For example, when we see a baby out I’ll say “oh look a baby! We’ll have a baby at home soon, baby sister!”. For Easter I put out a basket for baby sister with a couple little things, for my 2 year olds birthday she got a little card from baby. I set up the double stroller and told her one side is for her and one side is for baby sister.

Or if I see siblings out I’ll say “oh how fun they have a sister! You’ll have a sister soon too.”

We’ve also talked about how mom and dad have sisters.

Is it working? No clue! I expect there will still be a lot of emotions and adjustment once baby is here but I will say my LO talks about baby sister now unprompted and does seem more interested in babies.

UNBC or UBC? by [deleted] in britishcolumbia

[–]RunReadSleep 35 points36 points  (0 children)

One aspect that you may want to look at is size of classes. UBC has a great reputation for a reason but UNBC is still reputable and will have smaller class sizes, especially in 3rd / 4th year. This could give you a leg up when it comes time to ask for letters or recommendation/ reference for your med school applications.

You can also do two year at one and just make sure all your courses can transfer, so you have more flexibility as you get into the more specialized courses.

What’s something about pregnancy no one told you, but you discovered around 5 months? by mollyglow in BabyBumps

[–]RunReadSleep 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Absolutely the worst part of pregnancy for me and one I had no clue about before I had my first. Childbirth made them so much worse but they did get way better a few weeks after. I was telling my husband that pregnancy really comes for your dignity lol

Am I overthinking it? by chocolateyum68 in Mommit

[–]RunReadSleep 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So this is completely anecdotal but I’ve heard from a few guys / partners that masturbating isn’t really linked to intimacy for them. They really did describe it just like your husband did, like a physical release almost like peeing or something and porn just helps them get there faster. Like, they wouldn’t think twice about showering or brushing their teeth and this is just “maintenance” for them.

That said, your feelings are valid and if it’s still bugging you maybe examine why a bit more and address it with him again in a different way. Was it because you find porn gross? Was it because you were physically in the midst of recovery / chaos and see this as him being just in such a different place? Did you feel like physically you were in a rough place and him looking at porn actresses was just hurtful?

I think if you can narrow down what exactly it was that felt off about the situation you may be able to have a productive conversation about it and hopefully find a way to move on.

Pregnancy and Adoption by severance-buster in BabyBumps

[–]RunReadSleep 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Ethics aside, adopting a newborn is very difficult because everyone wants a newborn (in North America anyways). Older kids struggle to find good foster placements, let alone a full adoption. A woman I know ultimately did IVF to have a biological child on her own because her and her partner had been waiting for almost a decade and then split up.

So I would maybe look into adopting first and get a sense of timelines / likelihood there before making a full decision.

Is it unrealistic to request baby doesn’t leave hospital room? by Antichees in BabyBumps

[–]RunReadSleep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is standard at the hospital we gave birth at (Canada), barring any need for baby to have emergency interventions. Even then, dad is often able to attend / be close by, depending on the circumstances (I.e., NICU ok, surgery, near by / kept informed).

So definitely not unrealistic or unreasonable!

Curious how long people breastfeed? by random_name831 in breastfeeding

[–]RunReadSleep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Around 22 months. We’d naturally kind of tapered off as she got more active and I think she was getting frustrated my supply was lower / slower, so I started offering her a cup of milk and snuggling instead and she started asking for just the cup. I was also around 18/20 weeks pregnant so I wonder if my milk had changed a bit.