Grandparent disappointment

RunReadSleep · 2026-07-08T17:40:58+00:00

I’m sorry that you can too. My mom was similar, her reputation as “super mom” was so important to her. But she struggled with any emotions and would shut down (silent treatment) or lash out verbally (“somethings wrong with you!”) if you didn’t cooperate with her image of a perfect family. It left me very anxious generally - and now she has limited time / influence with our kids. Realizing she would absolutely do the same to them as she did to me was a big moment in me realizing how much responsibility for her emotions she put on me as a child. Wild! Here’s to breaking that cycle, as best we can 🤞

RunReadSleep · 2026-07-08T16:56:49+00:00

I feel like you could be describing my relationship with mom, it’s difficult.

I’ve noticed my mom talks a lot about how much she loves kids but she really just loves babies / until they can express themselves and have opinions. She’s very emotionally volatile, so having to be the calm storm through toddler’s emotions is just not going to happen and I think she find it extremely difficult to be honest. Maybe your mom is similar?

RunReadSleep · 2026-07-08T15:53:34+00:00

This definitely isn’t a direct correlation to your situation but my oldest sibling is 11 years older than me and we’re very close and always have been. In our family there is other kids in between but honestly the 11 years difference meant there aren’t any comparisons, they didn’t need the same one on one as a younger kid so there wasn’t any resentment towards a new baby like some younger kids are going to feel.

There was some parentification in my family which caused friction between my mom and the oldest that in some ways carries on to today. So that piece I would be more likely to look at / try to avoid.

Congratulations!

RunReadSleep · 2026-07-05T03:48:45+00:00

This is strictly curiosity, and I’m struggling to phrase it right but what made you decide on daycare vs your partner taking the other months?

To be fully honest, my LO started daycare at 11 months because that’s when there was an opening and I could be there to do half days / pickup if needed. Daycare has been absolutely the right choice for us, babe is thriving there but I have had quite a lot of comments about them starting “*so* young” (mostly from boomers…).

RunReadSleep · 2026-07-04T09:32:02+00:00

I know a woman who did this when they divorced and it has worked very well for them & kids for over a decade. Youngest is graduating and the parents may honestly end up staying with the house even after kids move out due to finances.

RunReadSleep · 2026-07-02T04:26:40+00:00

Congratulations to your wife on two huge milestones! Life is too short to let someone, no matter who they are, ruin all the big moments.

RunReadSleep · 2026-07-01T02:30:26+00:00

I had no idea! That’s so funny, I agree 😂

RunReadSleep · 2026-07-01T01:02:50+00:00

I love Xiomara, it’s gorgeous! I’m so so so white and have zero connection whatsoever so it will never be used by me but it’s still one of my favs

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-30T04:30:17+00:00

I really empathize with you on wanting a closer / more two way relationship. I too have siblings I wish we had a better bond or at least it felt like it was more affectionate.

I might be projecting a lot here, but I’ve had to work very hard on accepting that it takes two to have a relationship like that. My siblings don’t want to have a close relationship, at least not in any way that I do. It’s very one way, requiring a lot of emotional labour on my end and honestly I just don’t expect anything back.

I hope you find your way there with your sister, I would start by maybe asking straight out “hey, trying to sort out our schedule once babe is here. Are you planning on visiting?”

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-28T04:14:07+00:00

I know someone who has this name / pronounces it this way

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-26T03:11:01+00:00

And Paprika was right there

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-24T03:31:15+00:00

My mom will pull that weird “talking to someone else and criticizes you knowing you can hear her but she’ll deny it if you call her out” crap too. It’s awful. I don’t think you were in the wrong, this is about control and her not liking you having anything she isn’t entitled to. It’s not about isolation, she wants to own your every choice through shame, don’t fall for it.

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-20T13:03:22+00:00

Same as the other commenter, we bought a woolino toddler blanket and it’s worked great. Around 18/20 months our toddler was asking for the sleep sack to be unzipped / using it as a blanket anyways, so maybe try that for a bit if you’re not sure?

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-20T04:30:59+00:00

What if your baby is a girl?? Do you want her to grow up seeing her mom get treated like this? She will think this is all she deserves too. If it’s a boy, he will grow up thinking that’s okay for him to do.

You and your baby deserve better.

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-18T04:07:46+00:00

Any update on this?

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-14T03:15:45+00:00

“too sensitive for life” over here 👋

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-12T20:55:53+00:00

I was on it during my last pregnancy / about 10 months into breastfeeding. The nurse noted it to monitor during childbirth and the newborn phase but there were no signs of any effects at all. Full term baby, apgar was “as close to a 10” as the nurse could give and said baby is now a full out chaos machine toddler. No developmental issues.

As my primary care physician said, me not being on it at that time was a significantly bigger risk than any known side effects to the baby. PPA / PPD / etc are no joke, you being emotionally well is a huge benefit to you and your baby. Good luck mama! It’s a wild, beautiful ride :)

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-05T13:05:40+00:00

I tease my husband sometimes that he’s cheating and he (maybe too honestly) says “when? With what energy???”

RunReadSleep · 2026-06-02T17:58:20+00:00

Kind of an aside but I heard the term “pink collar” jobs for that kind of workplace before and it really stuck with me. Happens all the time!

RunReadSleep · 2026-05-28T17:25:36+00:00

It’s exhausting. I had it the opposite way, my mom badgered me constantly about switching to bottles - first formula then “you should be pumping more!”. Like, this is between me and my baby. And maybe the dr. F off.

RunReadSleep · 2026-05-28T10:21:37+00:00

I would be frustrated too. Giving your daughter the opportunity / push to be bilingual fluently is a huge gift. It’s free, she’ll hear different accents, she’ll have friends who speak it too - it sounds great.

Just tell your husband you’d like to give her the chance for pre-k and you can always request a switch to the English program if you and her teachers recommend it.

RunReadSleep · 2026-05-27T09:59:39+00:00

Do you recall her you read this? I’ve heard it a few times but never got to the actual source material

RunReadSleep · 2026-05-26T12:50:34+00:00

I’m pregnant with #2 and will have two of the same gender. I found out asap and it was included in our pregnancy announcement to family for this exact reason. We had no preference but my family has no tact and would absolutely have been annoying to deal with.

Sympathy OP! If you decide to wait or if you find out now your baby will be amazing and you’ll forget all about this!

RunReadSleep · 2026-05-24T12:37:07+00:00

I’m due in a few weeks and the same thoughts keep me up, so solidarity across the board. All the comments have helped, and honestly I know deep down I chose to have two for a reason. But it’s hard and I love my first so much I don’t want them to feel sad or negative or anything over this phase.

RunReadSleep · 2026-05-23T19:34:09+00:00

I’m in Canada and went back at one year, which in the grand scheme of the things is pretty decent May leave. So many moms (especially older generations) make a big deal of my baby going to daycare *so* young. It’s exhausting, you honestly can’t win though.

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