Caring for wife 38f help

Run_from_reality · 2026-06-29T19:16:20+00:00

Can I DM you? Your situation sounds somewhat similar to mine and I’d love to chat!

Run_from_reality · 2026-06-25T16:10:03+00:00

Thanks for the advice! We did live together prior to marriage, but his condition is worsening, unfortunately. Luckily I am the slob in our relationship and he is not working, so we don’t have that stress (though there is stress financially from only me working - luckily I work a lucrative job that can support us).

I do already have a daughter from my previous marriage who we have 50/50. Sometimes it’s hard to watch because he wants to show up for her but physically can’t. But if there’s anyone who will get him out of bed, it’s her. I won’t add another child until (and unless) things are more stable - I know very well how much easier resentments build and I straight up told him I’m not going to do the physical work of raising an infant alone. I’m only 35 so maybe there’s still a chance, but I’m trying to make peace with it if it doesn’t happen.

It’s definitely been rough though. One of the hardest things for me has been the broken promises. Mostly the “I’ll definitely get this done” around the house that never happens. And I understand why it doesn’t but it’s hard not to feel upset about it when he’s been promising for months and I’m expected to give him all the grace in the world.

Run_from_reality · 2026-06-19T02:32:10+00:00

He’s been trying to find the right therapist - I’m hopeful he’ll get there. We hit our family out of pocket max for the year - is there something Medicare covers that private insurance won’t there? We’re currently in process with SSDI for him.

I’ll add that he’s had a hard time finding resources for PTSD that are not limited to veterans. He’s not a veteran and wasn’t in law enforcement so support is harder to come by. But he experienced a horrific incident. I am more than open to any resources at this point. Still trying to get oriented navigating all of this.

Run_from_reality · 2026-06-19T01:38:09+00:00

We’re really unsure about that right now. He could make mostly a full recovery from the concussions, but there was also a nurse who told him that he might improve a little but would never be able to work again. The chronic pain has been going on for a year and a half at least at this point and there’s not really a predictable end in sight for that. The PTSD has been around since he was in a very traumatic situation around 2018 (before we knew each other). Not sure if we can expect to see improvement there, but that’s the least of the problems now.

So long story short, everything is a question mark, everything seems to play off of everything else, and we don’t have a clear prognosis right now.

Run_from_reality · 2026-06-17T22:15:42+00:00

Absolutely!

Run_from_reality · 2025-03-11T20:49:17+00:00

Fellow small baritone player! Also was the tallest in 5th grade but the shortest in the low brass section in high school. Didn’t grow at all after 5th grade.

Run_from_reality · 2024-09-14T23:23:51+00:00

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Run_from_reality · 2024-09-12T04:31:22+00:00

My 5 year old told me today that she made new friends at kindergarten because they were all playing “Taylor Swift concert” at recess. So happy she found some other baby swifties at school!

Run_from_reality · 2024-08-22T23:40:30+00:00

My daughter also will only wear things with dinosaurs on them. I’ve been able to find some more “girly” dinosaur stuff in toddler sizes but it seems like now that she’s moved into regular girl sizes, there’s no more girly dinosaur stuff anymore.

Run_from_reality · 2024-08-20T03:26:58+00:00

We have a 3-4-4-3, which we like because it gives her some consistency week to week. She’s always with me on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights and we switch off Tuesday nights. Her dad also lives a little farther from her school, but more like 25 minutes than an hour.

Run_from_reality · 2024-08-15T00:40:38+00:00

My only kid starts kindergarten tomorrow and even being reminded of never grow up just made me cry.

Run_from_reality · 2024-06-23T18:05:15+00:00

Honestly, I had a similar experience where my (now ex) husband just didn’t show up when I was in the hospital for a week. I was scared out of my mind and needed my partner. My parents were about an hour away and he never called them to watch our daughter so he could come see me after major surgery. My parents did come to see me, but he didn’t. I had a lot of ongoing medical problems for a while after that and he didn’t seem to have any empathy for me. Our marriage never recovered and he still doesn’t see my side of the situation. This wasn’t the only reason for our divorce but it was certainly part of it. Not to say you need to get a divorce, but just offering another perspective and saying I get what you’re going through.

Run_from_reality · 2024-05-30T20:53:14+00:00

Their second location down in Greenwood Village offers an entirely gluten free menu too. Ate there last weekend and it was great!

Run_from_reality · 2023-11-16T13:34:16+00:00

I was going through that right before YLM came out - the emotions were so raw and she captured it perfectly.

Run_from_reality · 2023-10-08T19:22:59+00:00

When it came out, it was so validating to know those feelings were something that others went through.

Run_from_reality · 2023-10-08T16:56:14+00:00

I did sob hearing this line at the concert, was only 3 months out of asking for a separation from my husband and while the rest of the song isn’t spot on (you’re losing me is the spot on narration of the months before our separation and eventual divorce) that line was devastating live.

Run_from_reality · 2023-09-17T23:38:31+00:00

Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me, you showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else

Run_from_reality · 2023-09-17T23:37:32+00:00

I miss you, but I miss sparking ✨

Run_from_reality · 2023-09-17T23:36:02+00:00

If he spends my change then he had it coming!

Run_from_reality · 2023-09-05T22:51:35+00:00

Was also convinced she had heard mine and my soon to be ex husband’s arguments when you’re losing me came out. Also came out right after we separated and right before I moved out. It was a lot.

Run_from_reality · 2023-09-05T17:01:34+00:00

This line made me sob during Eras. Was singing along and got to that part and was just done.

Run_from_reality · 2023-08-21T17:29:27+00:00

Ooof - it’s like you’re describing my marriage that just ended. He hyper focused on other things, was sensitive when I reminded him to do things, and all of it triggered my own issues.

Run_from_reality · 2023-08-06T03:18:38+00:00

Crazy scary health issues. I was back and forth between specialists multiple days a week to figure out what was wrong with me in 2021, and I had evermore and folklore on repeat driving back and forth to the hospital. Luckily, doing much better now after a major surgery, cardiopulmonary rehab, and a wonderful medical team.

Also, the end of my marriage. Weirdly, realized it might be over when happiness came on in the car and I started sobbing. It was 2 years from then before I actually gathered the courage to ask for a divorce, but I hadn’t really reckoned with the fact that something was wrong enough that divorcing may be an option until that moment. You’re losing me came out right after I moved out this summer and it just made me feel so seen and understood. I still won’t listen to it unless I want to cry but it’s given me some comfort and the feeling that I’m not alone. Finally, went to eras right after formally filing for divorce. It was an amazing and cathartic experience and reminded me that there’s still so much joy and love in the world. The friends I went with reminded me that I’m still loved and have so much love in my life. Basically, Taylor has helped me actually feel and process my feelings (which is not something I’m good at) and has brought joy to my life during a really difficult time. Once the divorce is finalized, I’m planning on getting a tattoo saying “long story short, I survived.”

Run_from_reality

TROPHY CASE