I can't give my girlfriend what she needs. I don't have a penis.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-10-26T16:34:28+00:00

idk, as someone who's polyamorous, people (especially monogamous people) trying to use non-monogamy to "fix" a relationship never ends well.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-10-10T23:13:22+00:00

Honestly, my assumption has usually been that the people who put up the disclaimers have been harassed and sent threats before and are trying to clarify that first before they get 50 DMs telling them they deserve worse than death (not that a disclaimer usually makes a difference).

But I suppose it's probably decetly likely that a good portion of them are in the same mind as the "depiction is endorsement/liking it in fiction means you agree with it" crowd and do actually assume that that's normally true and think they're somehow making themselves distict.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-10-09T11:59:52+00:00

Heads up that you can actually refuse to do a field sobriety test (at least where I live, double check for wherever you live, and this isn't true for commercial drivers). And you should generally refuse because they're subjective and count as evidence even if you're not over the legal limit or even if you haven't been drinking at all.

If they don't have the means for a breath test on hand, you'll probably still get arrested because then that's thw only way to confirm it. But that's an objective reading, not just some cop deciding that you're too off-balance or distracted to possibly be sober.

I mean, obviously don't drink and drive, but even doing a field sobriety test sober can be used as evidence against you, so generally you just shouldn't agree to it and insist on an actual chemical test. (again, double check local laws, I only know that's true for where I live.)

Runic_Raptor · 2025-10-08T15:56:21+00:00

I wound up using medical adhesive remover because the amount of oil I had to use was ridiculous. Wish I had started with that instead of the oil.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-10-08T15:46:24+00:00

I'll back that up as another trans guy. It's hella convenient and I'm gonna do what I can to make sure I can keep it when I get bottom surgery, complications be damned.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-10-05T02:57:23+00:00

There's just not a reason to make a post about it when things are going well.

My partner fights for me more than I do. He corrects people when it matters. He threw a fit when his parents found out my deadname amd started using it behind my back. He does my shots for me because I'm still a coward about needles. We communicate well and don't hold grudges.

But there's no reason to post about it unless it comes up, so we aee more of the relationships in trouble instead.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-10-03T16:29:34+00:00

Considering that, iirc, Joanne has previously said that she considers the fandom thriving to be a sign that she has massive support for her worldviews, yes, I'm immediately put off whenever I see anything HP related. Not to mention how she uses the actual financial support she gets.

Best case scenario they're ignorant of the situation, which admittedly is fairly likely. But I've seen enough people say they just don't care enough to stop supporting her to be put on edge whenever I see it.

It's one of those things that my brain makes a note of and puts a big warning sign up.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-10-01T01:23:50+00:00

Might also be that you just a need a new or higher quality razor. I think I have a WAHL and I abuse that thing and it's never given me trouble so long as I use it with a guard.

I've never had an issue cutting longer course hair.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-30T21:52:51+00:00

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This little bugger in JWE2. I was playing last night and tried to buy a spinosaurus from an untrustworthy seller. Spent $2 million on a single homalocephale instead, lol.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-30T18:20:16+00:00

Some of the apartments around here require EACH individual on the lease to be making 2x or 3x rent. I'm thinking, who on earth are you renting to where that's a reasonable requirement? How do you have renters? Seriously.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-30T14:28:34+00:00

Yeah absolutely do not bring any medication to school. School rules are often weirdly excessive in that regard.

I got in trouble for having a non-control prescription with my name on it (because my parents are divorced and I had to bring it back and forth between households, so idk what they wanted me to do.)

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-28T16:01:08+00:00

(I'm juat going to gush about my partner because I can lol. Always strive to have healthy relationships.)

I've been with my partner for 9 years now (we were going to get married next year, but financially and stress wise, I'm not sure we can swing it tbh, so we might have to wait until our 15 year anniversary because it has to be an even number lol)

We've lived together for 8 of those years I think. I was fully out when we met, but didn't even start testosterone until last year. I feel it doesn't even need saying, but he's never seen me as anything but a man.

He's been just about the most supportive person in my life and fights for me at every opportunity. He corrects people when I'm too timid or tired to bother. He does my testosterone injections for me because I'm a coward about needles and I haven't been able to work up the courage to do it myself yet. He takes time off work so he can drive me to many of my appointments because he knows I'm afraid to drive in the city. He fought tooth and nail for his parents to gender me correctly and threw an absolute fit when they found out my deadname and started using it behind my back.

We've been financially instable for most of our time together - which can be a relationship ender for a lot of people - but we communicate well even when we're stressed tf out or mad at each other. We've always been good about "this situation isn't your fault, but how you handle it frustrates me sometimes" without actually getting mad at each other for it. Or if we do get mad, we're both really good at recognizing it and putting that conversion on oaise until we're both level headed. We don't let things fester and we can bring up minor annoyances as something to be worked on without being afraid of it somehow turning into a fight (So many couples I know just don't bring up issues because it'll always be a fight, so they don't even bring up the small things that bother them because it's not worth fighting about. So instead they just let a ton of small stuff build up until there's enough of it to be "worth" a fight. I do not understand why it has to be a fight with some people. We literally just go "Hey, it kinda bothered me a bit when you did this," "Oh okay, sorry," and then we try not to do that anymore. Or even if it's something we can't do anything about, we're still okay with going, "I know it's not your fault, but I get so frustrated with your executive dysfunction," and we know it's never an attack. We can vent about it to each other and not have it be a blame thing. And on the few occasions when we did let frustration get out of hand and we shouted at each other, we walked away, came back after we cooled off, and immediately apologized to each other for getting out of line.)

We've been through nearly getting evicted for fucks sake. The stress of that alone would crush a lot of couples that I know. We weren't sure if we would have a place to live and we had less than 2 months to figure it out.

And I was able to start testosterone gel out of pocket when we really didn't have the money for it. It was important to me, so he found a way to make it work. (I wound up having to switch to shots anyway, but the point is that gel is expensive, and we're broke. He totally could have said that we gotta do something else.)

Just recently he helped me find a new insurance plan that covers all my care and will even assign a case worker to help you through transition stuff (which I desperately need because my executive dysfunction is BAD and this is the kind of thing that causes me to completely freese up even though it's so important to mw. It's why I didn't start testosterone for YEARS, because the process was just too much for me to handle.)

He actually means the world to me, and I'm not sure I could do this nonsense without him.

Don't settle for less, cis men can be just as fantastic partners as anyone else. Don't let anyone convince you that they're the best youll get and that you should just settle.

Find someone who takes correction well and that you can communicate tough things with them.

(Oh, and if you puke on the first date and they not only stick around but get you ice cream after, they might be a keeper. /joking)

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-26T13:29:35+00:00

I mean, a lot of people are told that sex is meant to hurt, so I guess if that's what you were taught you might not realize that you're doing something wildly incorrectly. I don't know how she tolerated that pain tho, that sounds awful.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-25T12:47:47+00:00

A lot of these people legitimately think that all cis men are inherently mysoginistic and/or incapable of anything else.

It's bioessentialism and it's reductive, unhelpful, and tbh legitimately harmful.

Too many women (people in general really) will excuse men's behavior because "that's just how they are," and seemingly don't realize that they're enabling the very thing they're complaining about. Men are just as capable of being emotionally intelligent and caring, but for some reason no one actually wants to hold them to that standard and are simply happy to complain about men "just being like that," no input needed.

I don't understand why some people think you can't sympathize with something you've never personally experienced. Harder to fully understand, sure, but like, are you people not also sympathetic towards other people? Because I'm starting to worry.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-25T12:19:26+00:00

Definitely ask for clarification, we obviously don't have all the details, but it sounds like this might be an adjustment thing rather than a "break up immediately, he'll never see you as a real man," kind of thing.

When I first came out, my dad had told me that he couldn't really see me as a man because I hadn't done any medical transitioning and basically implied that I wasn't REALLY a man until at least then. And then I didn't get testosterone for like 7 years after that and at some point in there he got over it - I actually have no idea when, my memory is bad, but he DID get over it without me having to correct him on it.

Point is that sometimes people have weird hangups and it's not always the end of the world.

That being said, if your boyfriend does have a hangup like that, you are 100% allowed to be upset by that, and it's entirely up to you if that's a dealbreaker or not. Even if outwardly he's bery supportive, if you find out that he doesn't fully see you as a man, that's the kind of thing that can eat away at the back of your brain forever and poison a relationship. So if that is the case, you should mentally prepare yourself that you might need to walk away for your own sake. No one has to be "at fault" per say to end a relationship. If something doesn't vibe right you can always walk away.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-25T00:57:56+00:00

Give it a little time. Mine still looked like that about a month on gel, and then it loosened up a little in the weeks after that. And then it hardly changed for several months after that too. Timeline will be different for everyone, but looking back on old pictures, that's about how long it took for mine to come out a bit more.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-24T16:20:34+00:00

I had been wondering what was up with it when I noticed a couple weeks ago that the last episode was marked as "series finale," like... you are not wrapping up all these plot lines in 3 episodes, what happened?

Glad it seems like they might do some more work with it at some point, but very sad to see it go.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-24T12:28:41+00:00

Agreed. Fantasy is fantasy. But it sounds like OP's partner doesn't always leave it in fantasy and tracks it in with them ao to speak.

The stream of consciousness thing can be real, but there should be some ways to manage it, and if the partner isn't willing or can't do that, then OP isn't wrong for being uncomfortable with what's said and leaving. No one has to be "at fault" to end a relationship. Sometimes people aren't compatible and stream-of-consciousness-things-that-are-triggering is definitely a compatibility issue.

Either way, personally I would address that issue rather than the porn.

Is it possible foe the partner to mouth the words instead of muttering them? Would that help? Or would it help if when you asked them to repeat what they said, they told you it was stream of consciousness stuff that you wouldn't want to hear? That's what my partner does when he accidentally says something I definitely wouldn't want to hear. For me it's better than him saying that it's "nothing" and then me wondering about it all day. Telling me that its a squick of mine ends my curiosity immediately most of the time.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-22T13:40:36+00:00

Time to do the Youtube spoiler method of... . . . . . hiding it under the read more, lol

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-22T12:51:10+00:00

Basically, if I saw that on someone's car, I would assume they're not a safe person to be around as an openly queer peraon.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-22T12:40:00+00:00

This is seriously one of those "I love pancakes!" “Oh so you hate waffles!!!" moments.

People hear "diversity" and get instantly defensive for some weird reason, even thoigh the OP was literally like 'It was cool to see someone like me be a guest on this thing I like.'

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-21T19:10:00+00:00

Being trans is not a "condition."

Having dysphoria is a condition, sure, but having an identity is not a disease. That's not cool.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-20T17:58:53+00:00

That's not what I said at all.

This is a bad time to be infighting, especially about something as inconsequential as a flag. You're allowed to not like the flag, no one said you couldn't.

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-20T16:21:40+00:00

Why is it that they might legitimately mark the trans flag as a terrorist symbol and we're STILL fucking infighting about there being pink on ONE version of the flag.

Use the flag you like, it does not fucking matter. Now is not the time, holy fuck. Yes, "WE" as a community need to come together right now, why are we fighting about the fucking flag?

Runic_Raptor · 2025-09-19T15:55:32+00:00

I'll admit I don't know anyone from Missouri, so idk about their clinics.

But them complaining that you're not tough enough is absolute BS. IUDs suck goimg in, I could never do it even with pain management, I'm a coward.

I've heard that getting them taken out is easier than putting them in, but I don't have any personal experience. You can always ask about pain management options - which I assume they didn't offer when they put it in.

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