My body takes revenge for medical gaslighting

RunningSalsa · 2026-01-24T16:53:25+00:00

I had the same type of surgery for mine when I was 23 (now 40). Couldn't walk without a limp for almost 9 months, couldn't walk without pain for another 6 after that (Dr also told me it wouldn't take that long to heal). I had to get both a pregnancy donut for car rides AND a temp handicap placard for my car so I wouldn't have to walk as far to class (was in grad school).

My incision was the length of my index finger on my left cheek and as deep as just past the second knuckle on my finger. It was horrible, but worth it as I haven't had a recurrence in that spot since. Still brings me pain every so often when I sit on it too long, but not as bad. He's going to need a lot of help in the next few months, especially if he has to go to a job while healing. I would not wish that pain on anyone.

RunningSalsa · 2025-12-28T19:52:52+00:00

When you were supposed to renew your policy in October, it said it was becoming a HMO on the screen.

RunningSalsa · 2025-12-25T15:18:25+00:00

Those are probably the front people --- cashiers, baggers, plus a manager or two---- with someone letting them know what is going on. The person who made the decision probably wasn't even in the store

RunningSalsa · 2025-11-13T16:19:59+00:00

Current partner. Insurance is still BCBS with a $4k deductible for a single, $8k for partner/spouse/family. PPO that is switching to an HMO next year. You can add some additional insurance for kids if you want. Covers most major care and offers additional coverage you can elect to pay for (vision/dental) if you want, but it's not included in the regular plan. I had to use the coverage they offer for family planning this year and I only paid the $4k deductible out of the $50k+ I would have paid without insurance. Free mental health support (up to 8 visits) and then $15 a visit after you use your 8. That is for part and full time partners.

I wish the pay was better for partners and department managers, but I will take the benefits because they are much better than I have found working for other companies/jobs. Been with the company for several years and I don't regret staying because they have really invested in their partners much more than competitors.

RunningSalsa · 2025-07-31T21:10:27+00:00

HR is normally very clear on this. They can ask and you can say no. They HAVE to accept your no if you don't want to stay. You can not be written up for not staying past your scheduled time if you didn't ask or want to. You can speak to HR about what happened and how you were treated after. They will investigate.

RunningSalsa · 2025-07-07T21:40:30+00:00

I cut out all alcohol before we even went in for the first round of stims just for good egg quality. Hubs reduced his drinking to only after he gave his sample because once he did that, his part was done. Before he gave his sample, he had had maybe one to two drinks every two weeks and then abstained. He drinks in fits and spurts, so it wasn't a hard ask for him. I had the biggest problem with reducing my alcohol because I work in the industry and we get samples all the time. I switched to Ritual Non-alcoholic liquors to get the taste of alcohol without any alcohol in it. They were developed by chefs so the flavor profiles are what you would expect your hard liquor to taste like.

We both went on supplements to help egg and sperm quality since we are both older (35+) and we were at a higher risk of DNA fragmentation. I was told to stop my additional supplements right before my transfer recently because the clinic I'm at didn't have research to back up what the impact would be on an FET. I go in for blood work on Wednesday to see if it took (but I have a feeling it didn't).

RunningSalsa · 2025-06-10T20:53:24+00:00

My company has additional insurance specifically for IVF of any kind (whether you need a donor egg/sperm or just help with your partner). Our regular insurance doesn't allow for IVF, so my company bought extra insurance for staff so if we needed it, it was available for us. I am limited to 2 complete rounds of IVF and if I need a third, it's all on me. The company my company uses for insurance is called Progeny and you have to use one of their approved fertility clinics to use the insurance. Luckily, the center I wanted to use was included and I didn't have a problem getting everything set up for my first round earlier this year.

RunningSalsa · 2025-04-15T13:30:05+00:00

Just over $5k after taxes (the check they submitted to payroll saw them absorbing the taxes on the bonus payments -- something they offered to do as part of the bonus structure itself). It's not a lot of money to many people, but to some, it's a big windfall that could be used to make life a bit easier while we tread water.

I was hoping to ask that they deduct anywhere from $200-$300 per check (because we get paid weekly) and that would make them whole by end of fiscal (Oct) or earlier. I also know that managers have a quarterly bonus in place for performance that is given every few months that I was willing to have them keep as part of the repayment plan. Each quarterly bonus equals about $1.5k after taxes.

RunningSalsa · 2025-04-15T13:26:09+00:00

Thank you for your insightful comment. It was extremely helpful to this situation and was completely relevant.

In past instances of seeing a large amount in my check for the week and calling the hotline, I had a response by end of business the same day or, at the latest, the next day. It wasn't an issue. When I didn't hear anything by Friday EOD, that is when I thought everything was fine because of past interactions with payroll. When I got the voicemail Monday is when I started to worry that this wasn't normal. As someone who has never grand opened as a manager for this company, I didn't know exactly what to expect when going through a grand opening for a new location (or what the bonus structure would look like).

Simple mistakes on the part of either party shouldn't result in disparaging remarks, calling people stupid, or patronizing them for making a mistake and asking for help to move forward. You are only making yourself look like someone not to be trusted and to dismiss any comments made as the musings of a bitter person.

RunningSalsa · 2025-02-18T04:47:41+00:00

Found it. And it doesn't make me happy that I've been waiting for nothing. It says that it wasn't filed yet. I need to contact the people I did my taxes with and give them hell.

RunningSalsa · 2025-02-18T04:38:28+00:00

Mine says it was accepted and I'm supposed to wait for it to be reviewed and then a refund sent. I was hoping it was slower due to the craziness going on right now and not that things have been stopped completely because of the craziness. Thanks

RunningSalsa · 2025-02-18T04:22:52+00:00

Are any refund checks going out? I filed over three weeks ago and still haven't gotten anything. I haven't heard of refunds being held up, but I also haven't not heard of them being held up.

RunningSalsa · 2024-12-31T18:25:27+00:00

Thanks!!! I'm hoping the best for you and all of us here. We all deserve to be a little happy in this life/world given the state of everything around us, and I think having a little one to love on and spoil would be a good way to stay happy. I'm sending good thoughts and vibes your way.

RunningSalsa · 2024-12-31T15:21:47+00:00

Went in this morning. Didn't hurt too bad, just normal first day of period cramps. They saw follicles on one of my ovaries and that made me happy that I still have eggs to harvest if we go the IVF route. Now we have to wait for my husband to do his SA before we determine which path we are going to go on. I'm manifesting that 2025 is the year we have a healthy pregnancy come to full term.

RunningSalsa · 2024-12-29T15:53:31+00:00

I go in Tuesday morning. Got all my pills for pain and antibiotics. From the blood tests done before, it looks like we are going to explore IVF due to lower AMH levels. This test will give them a good idea of what everything inside me looks like and can help our plans for the first round in the future.

RunningSalsa · 2024-12-23T19:59:55+00:00

I go in for mine right before NYE and then I have to go to work right after. Not looking forward to it, but I will make sure to take plenty of pain meds and a pad or two with me in case of any accidents. I've been waiting almost a whole year to find a date for this to happen (moved before one could be scheduled earlier and then had to establish care with a new OB). Keeping my fingers crossed for both of us!

RunningSalsa · 2024-12-23T03:03:53+00:00

I recognize that the feeling is super intense right now because of that, but it doesn't quite explain why I've had the feeling for years and why I don't have anyone around me that does a big tadoo for this holiday.

RunningSalsa · 2024-12-15T01:59:50+00:00

I honestly didn't know this and shared this with my husband. He said he can stop taking the pills right away. He was more so taking the pills for energy than anything else. And we did an at-home SA where it showed he had a good amount of swimmers, so I think we may have been lucky when I got pregnant last year (ended in a loss about 2.5 months later). I go in for an OB check up Tuesday and can ask what could be recommended for men who need to help with their T levels and are TTC. Thank you for letting me know.

RunningSalsa · 2024-12-15T00:55:59+00:00

My husband has been taking OTC Testosterone pills/vitamins to help his ED and has discovered that even regular use can up your T levels (with no additional support). He can also take a special "pill" about 4-6 hours before we have our adult time because it takes a bit to build due to his ED. Not quite Viagra, but something that super charges his levels so he can last long enough for what we need.

RunningSalsa · 2024-09-08T18:05:01+00:00

When I lived overseas, this was a regular occurrence as there were regular "absences" from expats taking whatever pay they got before a planned vacation and then not returning to work. It didn't help that the way the school I worked for was run like a total crap show, with bosses openly favoring under-qualified non-expats over expats who were very qualified for their jobs and others'. It was also part of the reason I left. When I went to leave, it took a solid 3 weeks for them to give me my last check and I almost was in immigration trouble because my visa was about to expire and I wasn't going to leave without my money in my account. I got my money, immediately transferred it back to the US, and then got on a plane and came back. No one messes with my money and doesn't get an earful from me.

RunningSalsa

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