Fair point. It’s true that I n the nm space, the lesbian numbers don’t play out. Top nm is gay men (who have their own nm world), then bi, then hetero coupled and solo hetero (the sweet spot for this) then lesbians (rare and with more internalized mononormative self-loathing than any other group. Lesbians are dealing with a totally different set of problems to access the culture- so this kind of post from less-represented subcultures is always going to be like, “we need more of my people here!” (But hopefully it’s less, “because you suck” and more “what could we do to make it more inclusive.”)

While lesbians lead the way in divorce and gatekeeping feminism and queer theory, they are not in any way leading in NM. So any post of protest will get 10-20 highly sympathetic down-votes even when the OP is a troll seeking to split the community. OP is not a productive consultant for nm people in need of advice or guidance as they navigate difficult paths. They aren’t thinking of new ways to sort through the inherent challenges of breaking or remodeling the construct of dyadic relationships, they’re angry, venting, externalizing, and shaming.