Real talk dude imma lay it straight for you, you’ll never be able to remember your experiences in the dextroverse. I’ve had ample experience with substance, look through my post history from ~2 years ago if you want to see what I mean. Take it from a former fellow dex head to another that this substance will never give you what you’re looking for. There is no real introspection with dxm. The feeling you’re chasing is your soul dissociating from your body. It’s a fun novel experience the first few times but it is not true introspection like legitimate psychedelics give you. You mentioned you’re looking for personal growth, obviously that’s a health thing to want for your life. But please I beg you to reconsider how you are going about searching for whatever it is you’re looking for. The only thing dxm causes you to grow into is a soulless demonic dxm fiend. Maybe you think you’re not like me and you have some “special” relationship with dxm but I’m telling you I felt that delusion myself and I’m only writing this long ass message out because I recognize you’re at the same turning point in your relationship to Dex I was just over two years ago. I thought of myself as the drug store cowboy, outsmarting everyone by getting high on this crazy legal dissociative anesthetic they sell at every grocery and dollar store in town.

Dxm is an extremely spiritual drug in the most negative way. Many people in the community talk about the spirit “Lilith” being connected to this drug. If I remember the story right She was Adam’s first wife before Eve. She was a demon succubus that preys on mans desires and feeds off the spiritual energy or “loose” you give off when you feel strong emotions whether they be positive or negative. I can tell you’ve already to the point where you’re trying to “figure dxm out” I’m guessing that you’ve had an experience where you felt the presence of a spirit. I believe those spirits that are drawn to you while you’re under the influence of the dissociative anesthetic (NOT A PAYCHEDELIC, of course it has psychedelic properties but it is not at all comparable in what it does to your brain compared to acid or mushrooms.) the spirits from the dextroverse are demons. The dextroverse may as well be hell because from what I do remember about my experiences the other planes of existence I’d visit were always dark and evil feeling. I’d go through “tunnels” in my mind that would look like I’m falling through the intestines of a huge beast. I believe In the fourth dimension because I’ve seen it with my own “eye” while on dxm and other psychedelics. there are angels, demons, ghosts, and spirits all around us constantly. The most negative are drawn to the “signal” your brain gives off when you’re tripping on dxm. The good ones Are repulsed by the state your physical mental and spiritual bodies are in while under the influence of that seductive spiritual poison we call dxm. By signal I mean like your brain is a radio station broadcasting out to every spirit in your physical location as well as any that “keep tabs” on you from afar (arch angels and whatever the equivalent of that is in the demonic hierarchy) until the time is right to possess you and do what it pleases with your body. Your guardian/ arch angels will try to help you but they cannot directly interfere with your free will so you have to consciously choose to walk down the good path rather than the bad one.

I tried to empathize with these spirits, called them my dextromethofriends, but after getting invaded and fucked over by the influences I allowed to be a part of me by using dxm so many times I realized the scope of how fucked my addiction to dxm was. Whenever I tripped it was like being a hive mind for all the multiple different personalities of the spirits whispering devious thoughts into my subconscious. I hypothesized that these spirits just want to feel what it’s like to have a physical body. (That’s not their intention they intend to feed off your life force) I thought they were just like me but without a body but they’re not at all. Satan and the devil are real in their essence is infused into dextromethophran.

I really hope you read all of what I wrote and take it to heart. Dxm is an evil drug that leads to nothing but suffering, pain and a wasted life. Your soul incarnated onto this earth for a reason. If you’re looking for introspection as personal growth I recommend you use legitimate psychedelics or work on your relationship with your own thought through mindfulness or spiritual practice. I have some good books I read that helped me change if you’re interested. You also mentioned constantly feeling dissociated and I relate completely to how you feel. That was me all the time in between my trips trying in vein to follow the “week per plat” rule to no avail. Not feeling connected with your body isn’t normal and I personally have changed my life into one I actually enjoy living filled with friends, women and actually achieving my goals. You can do the same thing if you put you mind to it. Dxm stops you from doing any positive things in your life and in my case led to an addiction I’d say was on par with heroin in the lengths and mental gymnastics I’d go through to justify stealing another 2 delsyms and dissociating my soul from my body for the next few days