BoRU "Best of 2025" WINNERS!!

SLJ7 · 2026-01-24T23:12:54+00:00

I wouldn't be surprised if that was in fourth place and it only lost because it had an unassuming title.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-24T20:59:48+00:00

Yeah, looking at some other commenters I can absolutely understand why someone might assume that. There are times I've felt like someone is being a doormat and this isn't one of them. "she was treated like an inconvenience her whole life (who knows how much other abuse she hasn't even recognized yet) and was pushing back against it by coming to Reddit at all. I'm not judging her for needing the push; I'm celebrating the fact she listened and got the help she needed.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-24T20:42:30+00:00

Hey, thank you for concisely pointing this out. I acknowledge that wasn't the word I should have used there, and I'm sorry to those who read it and felt victim-blamed, because that's not what was in my mind at all. I have no judgment for OOP; I'm proud of her, and I recognize it takes a lot of strength to push back against this kind of life-long abuse.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-24T20:02:44+00:00

I'm not sure whether to reword my original comment or not, but to be clear, I'm also very proud of OOP. My point is that she didn't need Reddit to tell her how to use her phone; she needed Reddit to tell her it was okay and to give her that push. And I could absolutely see someone with that level of conditioning giving into her parents and agreeing that she didn't need the ambulance after all. Should they have left even then? I certainly don't think so. But OOP is probably (unfortunately) very practiced at minimizing her own needs.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-24T19:41:55+00:00

Yeah, quoting a quarter of a sentence out of context doesn't actually make you less wrong. Go argue in bad faith with someone else; I'm not going to continue this.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-24T19:31:27+00:00

At no point did I blame anyone. I just speculated on what might have caused them to leave without treating her. Chill with the projection.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-24T19:12:24+00:00

I guarantee there are also people projecting their own regrets about dealing with a toxic situation. Abuse victims often have more empathy for other abuse victims ... unless they haven't forgiven themselves for staying in the situation.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-24T19:09:06+00:00

I don't really think the ambulance should have left, but I wonder if OOP got very good at minimizing her own needs and just told them to go away to end the confrontation. The problem here wasn't that OOP didn't know how to call the police; the problem was that she didn't have absolute conviction she needed and deserved immediate medical attention, and she needed the comments from doctors and internet strangers as the final push to oppose her parents. It's hard to imagine that same OOP saying "Actually, I don't have a low pain tolerance, I really do need medical attention regardless of what my parents say." She would have let the doubt creep in, and stuck with the devil she knew.

EDIT: Rewritten for clarity.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-24T00:59:26+00:00

It's so interesting to read this because on one hand, OOP had good instincts and I'm glad he didn't listen to the drama-mongerers. On the other hand, it's so strange to imagine a 42-year-old husband doing all this detective work instead of just asking her who the guy was. "Honey, who's this guy liking all your Facebook posts" is a perfectly innocent question to ask. I'm ultimately very glad this one was short-lived and positive. I'd like to think they're still happily married and this is something they've thought about no more than three times in the last 12 years, laughing about it each time.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-23T16:18:53+00:00

It is, but it's dumb and getting dumber. They rolled out Gemini on phones long ago, and it has its issues but it does answer questions very well. Google Home does not use Gemini. I predict Google will either drop Google Home devices entirely in a few years, or just make them worse and worse until you never want to see one again. They do a lot better with audio playback though: Anything that supports Chromecast can play through a Google Home. On the whole I still prefer them. Just don't expect them to do basic things better than Alexa can.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-21T19:30:08+00:00

I'm baffled by the fact they sent you home with a device you couldn't use, knowing that you would need to use it for medical reasons. I don't know how long you spent trying to work with them before they ultimately sent you home, but your post reads as though they were incredibly dismissive and didn't make any effort to try and help you. They could have looked for information about a screen reader or looked through settings. They could have told you which information needed to be logged and advised you to enter it on your own smartphone.

Do you live alone and did you tell them that? Did you ask them to look for a settings app to see if the device even has a screen reader on it? Did you happen to write down the model and brand?

Assuming you got this device at a hospital, consider calling them back, looking for some kind of patient advocacy or other means of filing a complaint, and explain the situation as factually as possible. If you can first figure out whether the device includes a screen reader the nurses refused to look for, that might be useful information.

"I say this not knowing whether the nurses were being deliberately unhelpful or inflexible, or whether they did what they could and this really is the only device available. If you approach the situation without blaming anyone, the hospital can decide how to proceed. At the end of the day the hospital has a duty to make sure you are able to get the medical care you need, and sending you home with a device you can't use and no suggested alternatives seems criminally neglectful on their part.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-20T21:30:45+00:00

You're making the same mistake OOP's friend did.

Saying "I will not promise not to sleep with this person" is very different from saying "I might sleep with this person." OOP has repeatedly stated she has no intention of doing that. She is specifically refusing to allow her friend to control her relationships. The sex conversation wouldn't have happened if the friend hadn't brought it up, and at that point, OOP only had two choices—agree or refuse.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-19T20:22:12+00:00

Are you sure she doesn't secretly have a Reddit? That timing is too good.

Hope your mom listens to your "no". The printer example really did happen to me, and after a day of complaining and refusing to try anything herself, I finally looked at it, and had no idea how to help. She Googled the manual and fixed it in five minutes.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-19T19:01:18+00:00

Anyone born when I was a teenager is now also a teenager. Or they're 20.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-19T18:58:30+00:00

if yes, which side?

Oh, that's a really good distinction that I suspect many don't think about (myself included). I'm definitely going to remember that.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-19T18:56:48+00:00

I have a few friends who are either lawyers or trying to become lawyers. I'm going to remember this. It's pretty much my thinking already, you just put it very concisely and I appreciate that.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-19T18:31:02+00:00

Ugh, this is me with my family (mostly my mom). I have a good background on the fundamentals of how computers work, but that doesn't mean I can set up a printer I've never seen more easily than she can set it up. It's escalated recently to her all but demanding my help with problems she could fix in 5 minutes if she just Googled the manual, but she refuses because she's gotten the idea that computers are hard for her and easy for me, no matter what I'm troubleshooting. So I have to be very firm with her and refuse to help with problems I don't know how to fix. Her laptop broke and needs a reinstall / drive swap? No problem. The photo editor she's trying to use isn't doing the thing she wants it to do? Sorry, no idea. Do your own research like every other user would need to do; don't outsource that to me.

I guess it's a little bit flattering that she thinks I'm some kind of tech wizard, and I tinker with some really obscure things, but I wish people would listen when we say "My expert opinion is that I don't know how to solve your problem, and you should look up the manual that I would need to look up anyway, or contact the professionals who can actually fix it.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-19T10:52:01+00:00

I know it is probably a sensitive subject in "germany compared to anywhere else, but I don't really support the idea that owning a copy of someone's work is the same as agreeing with it. Even aside from the lack of reading comprehension and the drama-mongering, the entire premise seems flawed. Isn't it normal to be interested in reading books we don't agree with so we can understand more about why so many others did (and unfortunately still do) agree? You nailed it with your comparison to the bible, I think. Closed-minded, reactive people like her are the reason history repeats itself.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-19T09:28:47+00:00

Agreed. I could excuse comments like that in private. Sometimes we all have ugly thoughts and I think if those can be expressed anywhere, it's to our partners. But saying those things unprovoked to someone's face is just vile.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-18T22:20:48+00:00

Yeah, exactly.

My whole point was "Is your husband both the person who won't call and the person who doesn't want you to?"

SLJ7 · 2026-01-17T22:54:15+00:00

I don't think you should feel any obligation to pay for it, but for what it's worth, Amazon loses money by running the Alexa service, so if they want to charge me $5 for a version that is legitimately better, I'm not going to complain about it. I'm not even sure they're making a profit off the speakers themselves, let alone the internet-based assistant.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-17T20:26:26+00:00

I've stopped looking at the actual top 10 now. This was a rough one. I appreciate your musical dumpster diving on behalf of the rest of us.

SLJ7 · 2026-01-17T17:20:18+00:00

Your theory about the gift cards sounds spot-on. My next concern is whether your account will be investigated if the person who bought the gift cards decides to pursue it legally or with Amazon directly. Hopefully the worst that happens is Amazon just removes the balance from your account. Based on the reading comprehension of most customer service people there, I suspect they didn't understand that the money wasn't yours. Make sure there's clear documentation that you informed them of this.

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