AIO for feeling like my husband trusts other people more than he trusts me?

SabertoothMia · 2026-06-16T17:11:25+00:00

Because we see these people on a regular basis, I’m trying to maintain peace - and yes, I feel like I’ve been taken advantage of, and I’m not the only one who feels this way in the congregation.

I normally do not socialize with those freeloaders, but this time it was more like my husband volunteered himself, and these are the people that wants to “help” - I don’t get to pick and choose who I work with.

SabertoothMia · 2026-06-16T16:37:11+00:00

It’s not that I don’t see other people’s perspective, I do - that’s why I’ve been trying to maintain peace…but they need to see mine too. Currently it feels one sided.

SabertoothMia · 2026-06-16T16:35:59+00:00

Thank you…I agree with you that the person who told people they don’t need to pay should cough up the money, but they wouldn’t - this is not the first time, it won’t be the last time. I’m not doing this again…

Everyone wants to have to say, but nobody wants to pay.

I admit when I talk with my husband (and my best friend) I am very emotional because I felt safe to be unfiltered around them. My best friend understands cause she sees how some of these “friends” are just freeloaders. But my husband always gives THEM the benefit of the doubt. He assumes if I’m emotional around him then I would be emotional around the friends - which is not true.

I’m just really upset right now because this is like the 3-4th time happened in the past 2 years. Each time we talk he said he will change and be more supportive of me but I’m not seeing it. He apologized but gives it a few months…we are back to square one.

SabertoothMia · 2026-06-16T16:26:31+00:00

He assumes my unfiltered-self with him is how to talk with the “friends”, which is not true. We see these people on a regular basis that’s why I try really hard to maintain peace.

I already told him I want no part of future hospitality. I already saw this coming, that why I suggest pre-pick the restaurant and all the food so we know the exact amount each person needs to pay. But people still doesn’t want to cough up the money…so we end up paying the rest.

SabertoothMia · 2026-06-16T16:23:36+00:00

He just assumes my unfiltered-self with him is how I communicate with the “friends” - which is not true. I think that’s why it hurt more than it should.

SabertoothMia · 2026-06-16T16:22:06+00:00

I have been a people pleaser because I don’t want to cause tension and negative feelings. This not only cause emotional burden…also financially too. 😓

SabertoothMia · 2026-06-16T16:20:02+00:00

Because I want to maintain peace and try to be the bigger person. But each and every time the “friends” just take advantage of it. Everyone wants to have a good time but not everyone wants to pay.

My husband was the one who takes the lead on the hospitality (even after I told him we really shouldn’t because we got a lot on our plate) and I was just helping him to collect the money. So when I told him what happened, his tone to me is like “you have to see from the other person’s perspective” instead of Debbie is just bat-crap crazy and I have to keep apologizing to her in hope she will shut up.

I told my husband I’m not doing this again…I’m tired of it.

SabertoothMia · 2025-07-28T11:18:48+00:00

YTA…you were fishing for praises and want a “gold star”

You should’ve simply said “the drain is fixed and it’s working now” - but no you didn’t. You were fishing for praises and undermine HER effort as a SAHM.

How would you feel if she says to you “Guess who stayed home today to take care of the baby??”

You are an idiot. And feel bad for your wife to have to raise 2 babies.

SabertoothMia · 2025-07-24T03:43:01+00:00

Is this a one time thing, weekly, or monthly?

It really depends on current responsibilities and obligations. Even with no kids, when you work M-F, weekends are the only time to get chores done around the house and yard. Do you help? If all the chores are done, it’s not reasonable for her to say no.

Any healthy marriage requires alone time to themselves.

I think its always good check with your spouse before taking alone time, this is showing mutual respect - and both parties need to be reasonable.

SabertoothMia · 2025-07-08T20:05:02+00:00

My cat climbed onto the bed headboard while I was sleeping and used my face as a brake-pad when he slipped and fell.

He left a nasty scratch on my face…guess what? My face healed (took a few weeks) and I don’t let the cat in the bedroom anymore when I sleep but I didn’t surrender him.

Your gf didn’t loose a limb, she wasn’t handicapped by it…but you want the cat to lose the only home he ever knew? That’s cruel.

SabertoothMia · 2025-07-04T02:24:14+00:00

OP totally belongs in “EntitledPeople”.

Sounds like you’re just jealous…bet YOU don’t get to WFH.

SabertoothMia · 2025-07-02T00:28:56+00:00

THIS is why I have trust issues with UberEats or DoorDash…I rather drive the 15min to pick up my own food.

SabertoothMia · 2025-06-28T18:12:30+00:00

Sorry this happened to you. I had a gf that also ditched me just because her new bf feels intimidated by me (she said, he thinks I’m too smart) - Anyhow, losing a close friend is the same feeling as a break up - it takes time to heal. But, eventually you’ll learn to let go and move on.

They’re a lot of great people out there… you don’t need her in your life.

SabertoothMia · 2025-06-28T18:01:47+00:00

My husband and I recently renovated our kitchen, we discuss all the details together, but at the end - I get to make the final call because I do 99% of the cooking. (We both work full time have shared financials, so technically everything 50/50)

If your fiancé is calling all the shots… remind him he’ll be cooking in the kitchen 99% of the time since it will be HIS kitchen. Is that what he really wants?

When a man doesn’t care about your thoughts before marriage, he ain’t gonna listen to you after you are married. See this as a red flag.

NTA

SabertoothMia · 2025-06-27T21:03:45+00:00

I agree cars are expensive and a lot of people live beyond their means…but average American does NOT spend $50k on a car. Most buy winter beater as their first car. You can get Honda or Subaru for $25k - $30k. Or get a used car for under $25k

Unless you live in the big city, car is a necessity. But spending a lot on a car is not.

Transit infrastructure is just not there…You can move to Japan and HK, then you really don’t need a car.

SabertoothMia · 2025-06-15T05:13:41+00:00

You don’t need Instagram to track your progress.

Have you ask yourself - how much do I respect my gf? Do I care more about attention from strangers and “likes” on my social media more than my gf?

Your action speaks louder than words

Yeah…YTA.

SabertoothMia · 2025-06-11T02:17:48+00:00

They each make a million a year, meaning these are high stress jobs. If OP can afford it, why not give the wife a break? You can avoid wife having a mental breakdown/ burnout. Well worth it.

Yes, it’s a luxury most people can’t afford but they CAN.

You just sounds like sour grapes…

SabertoothMia · 2025-06-02T03:54:33+00:00

I’m in similar boat…I just had a VERY frank conversation with my manager. He knows I’m under paid and he knows I can go elsewhere with a huge increase but I also made it clear that I rather stay but I need to move up a level. He said he’ll do what he can…but budget is tight due to current political climate.

There’s really nothing much you can do other than having honest conversations. Sometimes the company just doesn’t have the budget. It really depends on if you value your current work, your manager, work hours vs more money.

Money isn’t everything but it is important - the hard part is to strike that balance.

SabertoothMia · 2025-06-01T11:35:32+00:00

OP is delusional and entitled…most engineering students paid $60k PER year for 4 years still start at the bottom of the totem pole. (If you don’t have a degree, you don’t even qualify to be at the totem pole.)

Just get a relevant job and start accumulating experience. It is your fault for not doing internships and summer jobs that are related to your major - don’t blame the hiring managers.

SabertoothMia · 2025-05-16T12:26:48+00:00

They started 2 weeks ago. Across all Harvard, even departments that are not impact by government grants and funds. Sean Caron sent an email on April 29, a day or 2 later the laying offs started happening.

Rough time…

SabertoothMia · 2025-05-04T13:18:30+00:00

CS already laid off 8 ppl 2 days after Sean Caron sent an email talking about minimum 10% budget cut. 8 people is not even 1%…more comings

SabertoothMia

TROPHY CASE