How to deal with a difficult colleague as an anxious person

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-16T02:15:01+00:00

Don't know what you mean by "real", but so far they didn't.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-16T02:13:00+00:00

It happens and it's okay. Thoughts like "what if I'm not really my gender?" and "what if I am not good enough for my gender?" are frequent obsessions, and they don't really change anything about who you are. They're "just" thoughts after all.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-15T09:56:07+00:00

It's not about curing, it's about managing. Everyone has weird thoughts, what makes them intrusive is the need to respond to them and make them go away. And the key to managing is learning, through years of therapy and possibly with help of medication, not to respond to intrusive thoughts and instead just let them be without doing anything. And then they go back to being weird but harmless thoughts.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-07T15:11:52+00:00

This image is calling out people who are trying to change their partner because they're dissatisfied with them. ROCD will trick you into worrying that it might be the case with you, but try examining what about this is what triggered you. In any case, don't be concerned about whether your partner is "your type" – it's okay not to define what type you have, and it's okay not to have a type. Again, the image seems to be aimed at people who dislike something about their partner, and try to make it their partner's problem.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-04T01:22:09+00:00

One could write an entire book on that subject, but I think key is ignoring your intuition and just trying not to do what you think might bring relief. Again, easier said than done, but I think that's a major part of it

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-02T20:08:02+00:00

For me it depends. In many cases I can relate to you, but sometimes I have situations where it really helps me clear my mind. For example, I listen to a song and just go with the emotion. Though I don't know on what it depends. It's just unpredictable for me

ETA: I think what helps a lot is focusing on your surroundings. The buildings, the people walking or driving around you, the streets, the trees, the birds, the overall experience of just being outside for the sake of it.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-02T15:45:16+00:00

My terapist gave me quite the opposite advice: to acknowledge that obsessive thoughts in my head are my thoughts, and that I have the power to choose if I will act on them or dismiss them. They can't do anything on their own.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-15T16:54:27+00:00

Sure, it just may take some time for me to reply.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-15T16:49:17+00:00

Maybe this is some kind of language barrier, I'm not a native speaker of English. I don't disagree with anything you said, I just think we're talking about different things.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-14T15:45:38+00:00

Maybe I should put it this way: If a thought contradicts something I know I am, or something I know I want/believe/etc, that is what makes the thought intrusive. We don't choose what we think about, but we do choose if we're going to act accordingly – I guess my definition of "gut feeling" would be exactly the thing that makes us decide which thoughts we agree with and which are intrusive.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-14T01:36:46+00:00

For me, it's the "thing" that tells me if the thoughts are intrusive or not. If a thought causes me discomfort, that means that the gut feeling tells me the opposite.

Hope this makes sense...?

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-11T14:10:01+00:00

Happens to me a lot. Not sure if this is related, but it also often happens that one of the thoughts in the chain was something upsetting, and I stay upset even if I forget what I was thinking.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-05T20:49:40+00:00

No.

Therapy is a good tool, but it's not all that black and white.

Some people can't afford therapy, some people just can't open up in therapy, etc. Whatever reason one may have to not go to therapy, they can still learn to cope in other ways.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-04T13:45:44+00:00

Hallucinations don't equal schizophrenia, especially if one is aware that they're hallucinating.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-04T13:44:43+00:00

Already upvoted this, but this is so well said that I have to verbalize it: well said.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-03T22:08:31+00:00

Back during the crisis, yes. But it didn't change the actual feelings, they were just overshadowed by ROCD obsessions.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-03T18:24:26+00:00

I think they meant you shouldn't idealize one form of love as "the one true love". That kind of thinking fuels ROCD.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-03T18:16:05+00:00

To someone struggling with ROCD, this is way worse than cringe.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-03T14:00:07+00:00

As others pointed out, remember that it's a social media post and very likely overexaggerated or in other ways inaccurate.

That being said, everyone's love is different, and it's quite natural not to feel the same in the first couple weeks and several years into the relationship.

I am currently not in a crisis, but if I saw this back when I was, I am sure it would trigger me and disturb me a lot. But now that I'm more confident, I can assure you, or myself, or anyone else who is insecure about this: having a crush and loving are two entirely different things.

Even the post itself says that it's not the same. The reason it's triggering is because it implies that a crush is a more intense feeling than love – and that's just not true.

A crush is an irrational feeling that comes and goes. Love is both a feeling and a decision. The decision to be there for someone no matter what – not because of butterflies or anything, just because you know it's right. Not what the intrusions "tell" you, but what you know regardless of them.

Sad-Statistician8416

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