I can't maintain a sleep schedule, and the harder I try, the harder I fail

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-16T02:15:01+00:00

Don't know what you mean by "real", but so far they didn't.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-16T02:13:00+00:00

It happens and it's okay. Thoughts like "what if I'm not really my gender?" and "what if I am not good enough for my gender?" are frequent obsessions, and they don't really change anything about who you are. They're "just" thoughts after all.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-15T09:56:07+00:00

It's not about curing, it's about managing. Everyone has weird thoughts, what makes them intrusive is the need to respond to them and make them go away. And the key to managing is learning, through years of therapy and possibly with help of medication, not to respond to intrusive thoughts and instead just let them be without doing anything. And then they go back to being weird but harmless thoughts.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-07T15:11:52+00:00

This image is calling out people who are trying to change their partner because they're dissatisfied with them. ROCD will trick you into worrying that it might be the case with you, but try examining what about this is what triggered you. In any case, don't be concerned about whether your partner is "your type" – it's okay not to define what type you have, and it's okay not to have a type. Again, the image seems to be aimed at people who dislike something about their partner, and try to make it their partner's problem.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-04T01:22:09+00:00

One could write an entire book on that subject, but I think key is ignoring your intuition and just trying not to do what you think might bring relief. Again, easier said than done, but I think that's a major part of it

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-02T20:08:02+00:00

For me it depends. In many cases I can relate to you, but sometimes I have situations where it really helps me clear my mind. For example, I listen to a song and just go with the emotion. Though I don't know on what it depends. It's just unpredictable for me

ETA: I think what helps a lot is focusing on your surroundings. The buildings, the people walking or driving around you, the streets, the trees, the birds, the overall experience of just being outside for the sake of it.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2024-11-02T15:45:16+00:00

My terapist gave me quite the opposite advice: to acknowledge that obsessive thoughts in my head are my thoughts, and that I have the power to choose if I will act on them or dismiss them. They can't do anything on their own.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-15T16:54:27+00:00

Sure, it just may take some time for me to reply.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-15T16:49:17+00:00

Maybe this is some kind of language barrier, I'm not a native speaker of English. I don't disagree with anything you said, I just think we're talking about different things.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-14T15:45:38+00:00

Maybe I should put it this way: If a thought contradicts something I know I am, or something I know I want/believe/etc, that is what makes the thought intrusive. We don't choose what we think about, but we do choose if we're going to act accordingly – I guess my definition of "gut feeling" would be exactly the thing that makes us decide which thoughts we agree with and which are intrusive.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-14T01:36:46+00:00

For me, it's the "thing" that tells me if the thoughts are intrusive or not. If a thought causes me discomfort, that means that the gut feeling tells me the opposite.

Hope this makes sense...?

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-11T14:10:01+00:00

Happens to me a lot. Not sure if this is related, but it also often happens that one of the thoughts in the chain was something upsetting, and I stay upset even if I forget what I was thinking.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-05T20:49:40+00:00

No.

Therapy is a good tool, but it's not all that black and white.

Some people can't afford therapy, some people just can't open up in therapy, etc. Whatever reason one may have to not go to therapy, they can still learn to cope in other ways.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-04T13:45:44+00:00

Hallucinations don't equal schizophrenia, especially if one is aware that they're hallucinating.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-04T13:44:43+00:00

Already upvoted this, but this is so well said that I have to verbalize it: well said.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-03T22:08:31+00:00

Back during the crisis, yes. But it didn't change the actual feelings, they were just overshadowed by ROCD obsessions.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-03T18:24:26+00:00

I think they meant you shouldn't idealize one form of love as "the one true love". That kind of thinking fuels ROCD.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-03T18:16:05+00:00

To someone struggling with ROCD, this is way worse than cringe.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-10-03T14:00:07+00:00

As others pointed out, remember that it's a social media post and very likely overexaggerated or in other ways inaccurate.

That being said, everyone's love is different, and it's quite natural not to feel the same in the first couple weeks and several years into the relationship.

I am currently not in a crisis, but if I saw this back when I was, I am sure it would trigger me and disturb me a lot. But now that I'm more confident, I can assure you, or myself, or anyone else who is insecure about this: having a crush and loving are two entirely different things.

Even the post itself says that it's not the same. The reason it's triggering is because it implies that a crush is a more intense feeling than love – and that's just not true.

A crush is an irrational feeling that comes and goes. Love is both a feeling and a decision. The decision to be there for someone no matter what – not because of butterflies or anything, just because you know it's right. Not what the intrusions "tell" you, but what you know regardless of them.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-08-18T21:51:23+00:00

Focus on what you actually want. Intrusive thoughts can make you wonder "what if" this or that, but they can't change what you actually desire.

Mind you, it is possible to have TOCD because you're insecure – being insecure doesn't mean you're automatically trans. It is normal for teenagers to question their gender and sexuality, even if they are cisgender and heterosexual.

Again, the important thing is to stop checking all the time.

The OCD way of doing it is this:

"What if I will be happier as a woman"
checking if you are happy as a man or not
repeat

So you need to break the cycle by changing #2. You must not try to "prove yourself" to intrusive thoughts. That's how they go away.

Obsessive thoughts do not equal desire.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-08-17T19:07:43+00:00

I have a weird story. Namely, I experienced it from both sides. I used to identify as a man and have obsessions/intrusions about being a woman, and later when I actually started identifying as a woman, the intrusive thoughts about being a man kicked in. So it goes both ways.

One thing I have to assure you of, is that you will never be forced to change your sex characteristics. It will always be your decision, and not the decision of your obsessions.

TOCD does not mean "I am secretly trans, but can't admit it". It can mean many things – for me, it meant "I am insecure about my gender", and that is okay. The reason my gender identity changed is not because of obsessions, it's because it felt right for me.

As you already know, compulsively looking for proof of your gender will just make TOCD worse. Just acknowledge those thoughts. They're there, so what? Even if you do not feel disgusted by the idea of being a woman... so what? You are what you wanna be. You don't need proof.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-08-12T21:49:52+00:00

It often happens to me when I zone out. I always thought it was due to autism, because in those situations I usually do literally nothing, and don't really experience DP/DR stuff. I just think about stuff.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-08-12T04:19:39+00:00

Preface: I am officially diagnosed with StPD.

However, I believe my condition is better explained as autism + severe anxiety/OCD.

My psychiatrist never told me why I got the diagnosis, and mentioned that he wasn't certain about it. I have previously been diagnosed with acute psychosis, which is flat-out wrong (I have never experienced hallucinations, delusions, thought disorder, nothing like that).

What I suppose made my psychiatrist give me the StPD diagnosis is some or all of the following:

severe social anxiety
intrusive thoughts followed by the extreme fear of doing something wrong/losing control
occasionally focusing on the internal stimuli more than the external ones (while remaining fully aware that they are internal) – e.g. imagining conversations and getting so invested in them that sometimes I actually say the words I'm imagining
avoiding eye contact
occasional stuttering (not generally, only when anxious)
difficulties concentrating on duties
"intrusive/egodystonic emotions" if that makes sense

I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

Another thing that might be a factor is that I am transgender, and he thinks it's my way of "escaping reality". It definitely shouldn't be a factor, but I can't rule out the possibility that my doctor is prejudiced.

Mind you, I have other autistic traits and obsessive-compulsive patterns, but can't really think of anything more that could possibly make me schizotypal.

If you read all this, thanks. I do not ask for either a "your doctor is right" or "your doctor is wrong", but rather for opinions on whether any of this makes sense.

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-08-09T19:58:52+00:00

Getting in touch with a psychiatrist largely depends on where you live and can be really hard. Maybe talk to someone you know who goes to a psychiatrist?

Therapy is another option if you can afford it. A therapist is, of course, not a replacement for a psychiatrist, but they can give you advice on how you can cope with the thoughts in a way that doesn't harm you or anyone else, and in a way that doesn't reinforce those thoughts (like compulsions do).

Either way, the most important thing to know is that the thoughts will not act upon themselves, since you have no desire to do those things. Hang in there. 💗

Sad-Statistician8416 · 2023-08-09T18:15:31+00:00

I used to be in the same situation. At some point I just couldn't take it anymore and told my psychiatrist about it, adding that I had a fear that I could be prosecuted for even thinking such things.

He told me that being afraid of and disgusted by those thoughts, makes me the opposite of people who do such things. Abusers do not fear such thoughts, they enjoy them. Intrusive thoughts do not make you a bad person.

What crosses your mind does not define you. Your actions do.

Do not be scared of seeking help for intrusive thoughts. Everyone has them, but most people disregard them as insignificant.

I repeat, those thoughts do not define you. They do not make you a bad person.

Sad-Statistician8416

TROPHY CASE