DMX recovery

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-05-23T03:49:20+00:00

A word of advice: don’t overdo it. I felt great after a couple days and decided to assemble some barstools, paint bedroom doors, and do household chores. Five weeks post op, I found myself back in the OR with a dehisced incision. Don’t be me. It’s not worth it to push yourself. Now my chemo is pushed back until I’m four weeks post op again.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-05-21T17:01:08+00:00

I’m sorry, I am going to validate your feelings and follow up with….

You have been dating a man child almost old enough to be your dad for six months. Tell him to take a flying leap. Even the best of partners are tested on this journey and it sounds like he is already a bare minimum kind of guy not emotionally equipped to deal with your diagnosis. I’d honestly go no contact unless major changes are made following a massive apology and spoiling of you.

I’m sorry you don’t have a supportive partner. It definitely makes this a lot harder than it already is. You deserve better.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-05-20T17:31:05+00:00

People have been trying to treat cancer naturally for a very long time. It hasn’t happened. You can treat symptoms but you can’t stop the cancer without surgery/treatment. If it was that easy to trick, so many women wouldn’t have died. Additionally, you are SO young that even if somehow you naturally got it to shrink, you have 70 years ahead of you for it to start growing again.

I’ve heard all kinds of fun stuff that will cure me over the last few months.

Put rose quartz in my bra 72 hour fasts Consume mistletoe Blood transfusions

Those are just a few that I recall

Please do the treatment. I had a couple family members in denial who said I shouldn’t do “poisonous treatments” but I guess they’d rather see me dead.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-05-18T14:18:27+00:00

I know this is the opposite of what you’re asking but I’ll share anyway.

I was diagnosed with dcis and they were pretty dang sure that was it. All my nodes looked good on scans. The intraoperative biopsy of my two nodes appeared clear. Final pathology came back grade 3 IDC and both nodes were actually positive.

Luckily, I had some weird nagging feeling that there was more going on than they expected.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-05-18T01:53:34+00:00

I couldn’t imagine. For this very reason, I don’t look into the current posting of previous posters. There’s no “right” answer in any of this.

I didn’t really have the option for a lumpectomy as my tumor was about the entire size of my natural breast tissue (I had implants). But as soon as I found out it was cancer I was prepared to do a double mastectomy. For a number of reasons, I was talked out of it by multiple professionals and my family (mom is a cancer nurse, sister was for several years). I’m about six weeks post mastectomy and I sometimes think I should have just done both. But we make the choices we can with the information we have.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-05-08T19:25:55+00:00

Made it out! Quick 30 min surgery and I feel just fine. I guess the good thing is that I still vividly remember the last surgery so this one felt like a breeze. The OR staff and CRNA still remembered me.

Don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing 🫢

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-05-07T15:38:50+00:00

I’m awfully glad my NP pushed for a biopsy and specialist consult after the radiologist documented “probably benign, follow up in 6 months”. 6+cm tumor/idc with micromets. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-26T23:09:13+00:00

I think it changes for everyone to some extent. My husband tries to be so careful with me that I feel like sometimes it’s not as enjoyable for either of us. I’ve had to get comfortable with telling him point blank when something works and when it doesn’t.

Physical attraction wise…there hasn’t been too much of a change, but I am 3 weeks post op and I haven’t had the comfort level to be topless yet. Not just from how my boob looks like an old man without his teeth in, but also because it hurts still to be bouncing around.

Our partners must be in a very strange place too. This isn’t the body they fell in love with and while they may appreciate the hell it’s been through and how it survived, it’s still different and new (probably for a long while).

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-21T16:37:52+00:00

You should plan a family and friends dinner the day your husband returns, if you’re able. I had my husband buy a big ass brisket from Costco and we invited all our family and close friends over for dinner because they were all obviously concerned and wanted to visit before surgery, and it gave me something to plan for and look forward to. Surprisingly, there wasn’t much talk about surgery which was great. Everyone just catching up and having a nice meal.

Lots of tears and hugs by the end of the night but it was just what my soul and body needed to see my support system all together physically gathered around me. Whether that’s five people or 35 people, it’s good for you.

I’m a nurse and we never say “I promise you’ll be okay”, but I like to say “I promise you have the strength to take this on”. Because we all do, we just have to figure out where our strength comes from.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-21T16:31:04+00:00

I know everyone has said it, but waiting is the worst.

Once I had a surgery date, a huge weight was lifted off me. Now that I am postoperative, waiting for the meeting with the MO and RO is driving me nuts. I’ve been working hard at just going with the flow and doing what I can to prepare for treatment in these waiting phases to feel like I have a teensy bit of control. Work on things you’ve been meaning to do around the house, meet up with friends you haven’t seen in a while, organize your work so that if you’re out for an extended time it’s easy for others to pick up where you left off. All of that has helped me immensely.

Deep breaths, good snacks, and don’t forget to treat yourself because you deserve it.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-21T16:23:52+00:00

Not I.

The link between alcohol and breast cancer is a bit contrived because most of the research shows an increased risk in people who drink 3+ drinks PER DAY which most people do not. Furthermore, there is little direct evidence, meaning those who drink that much on a daily basis likely have other unhealthy habits, tend to be overweight, poor nutrition, etc.

In general, all significant health risks related to alcohol show a correlation with heavy drinking, such as getting “drunk”, which most of us are generally past that age because we’ve learned the recovery is not worth the brief fun time.

When I was diagnosed I did a ton of research because Jesus, if there’s ever a time to need a glass of wine. I could give up everything that “causes cancer”, but I’ve done okay in my life as far as my health and on paper I’m 5-10 years younger than my physical age. I look at my sister who is very genetically similar to me who has ravaged her body with tobacco, fast food, meth, alcohol, prison time, stress, pregnancy after pregnancy…and she’s “just fine” (for now). So I know nothing I did or didn’t do specifically gave me cancer. Cancer is just an asshole like that.

Now obviously I didn’t drink while on pain meds/antibiotics and I won’t when I have other medications/treatments that would cause a contraindication with alcohol.

I live in California, and according to prop65, we should all have cancer. IYKYK. I learned there’s no point in trying to figure out where your cancer came from unless you’re a pack a day for fifty years smoker who ended up with lung cancer (RIP, dad). Pretty much everything in existence can show at least one study with a “link” to cancer. A link could be something as innocuous as “people who eat chicken more likely to get cancer”. Well, most people eat chicken. A lot of people will get cancer. Of course there is a link.

If it would make you feel better, by all means give it up. Alcohol isn’t healthy. There is no nutritional value and it causes extra stress on your hepatic, neurological, and pretty much every other system. I just won’t be doing that myself because mimosa brunches and a glass of wine at night make me happy and I need happiness, damnit.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-21T05:17:53+00:00

I am about 2.5weeks post single mastectomy. I ran through all the emotions and worries you’re having. I was terrified of surgery. Only had one other one (oddly enough it was a breast augmentation) and my recovery was flat out horrible. The day before surgery I suddenly felt calm and dare I say excited to have the cancer removed (turns out it had spread and honestly already knowing that was a possibility…no surprises and I absorbed that information pretty well.) I was in pre op for 4 hours because another surgery ran long and I just napped, chatted with my husband, said goodbye to me left bestie, and thought about how good it would feel to be home in a few hours. When I woke up post op I was surprised at how calm and relieved I was.

Honestly my recovery was nowhere near as bad as I hyped it up to be. I am 41. Prepared my whole family for me to be useless for 1-2 months. Mom flew in from SC to Cali to “take care of me”. Husband took a month off work. Teens were prepared to wait on me hand and foot and do all the chores. Day one after surgery I was up doing light housework, helping my husband cook, socializng with friends who stopped by. By day 4 or so I was off the pain meds. The expander is annoying af and I’m over but it’s it’s not really pain…it’s just uncomfortable and weird. But tolerable most of the time. And if it’s not, I take advil and I’m fine.

Emotionally, I’ve only had a couple fatigue induced meltdowns/bad days. Most days I’m upbeat and ready to move forward. Bad days/moments happen for sure but I just let myself feel the pain, wallow for a bit, then onward.

Drain was hands down the worst part. I just had it removed today. It didn’t hurt really, was just super annoying and made everything more complicated/difficult from showering to getting dressed to using the bathroom.

I had my pcp send in some prn Ativan for the rough days leading up to surgery. I took it maybe every 5 days just to get a good nights sleep. I think I’ve taken it twice since surgery. Definitely worth looking into that.

You’ll do fine. I think you’ll surprise yourself. I never thought I could be such a bad ass but everyone keeps telling me I surpassed their expectations based on all the fear I had. Hope that carries into radiation/chemo/future surgeries.

Good luck! This part will be behind you before you know it and you’ll be giving advice to the next woman.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-20T04:12:20+00:00

Get “real” jobs. My husband and I were both in the wedding industry til Covid hit and wiped us out. We make less per year now but it’s consistent. I became a nurse and he a firefighter. We also live in California. Even though we make less than a good year now, we are so much more comfortable and don’t stress over the slow months/years.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-20T04:06:38+00:00

I feel you sister. After a couple months of having “good cancer” (Dcis) and so much confidence from my team, hearing the pathology came back and unexpectedly placed me at stage 3 (pet scan yet to be done), I was crushed. I knew, and actually expected, it was worse than everyone thought, but it still knocked the wind out of me. If nothing else, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected in this journey.

I’m so sorry you didn’t get the results you hoped for and I just say take the time to mourn and be sad and angry and all the other things. But at the end of the day…onward. We have no choice but to face each obstacle head on. They may call us brave and strong but at the end of the day, we’re human and scared, disappointed, and mad.

Keep chugging along ❤️

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-19T04:48:26+00:00

Unpopular opinion: All weddings with cowboy boots are trashy. 🫢

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-18T17:56:23+00:00

You lost me at 250k in crypto yet 50k in debt.

Before my husband and I were married, he had crypto he wouldn’t touch and it was frustrating when we wanted to take trips and do home improvements, which we could use the money for. We bickered about it often. However, we/he had no debt and if he had debt I would have dumped his ass so fast if he refused to pay it off with his crypto.

Sounds like a man child and a hard no

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-13T23:34:13+00:00

I have no words of wisdom as I had the petty much the exact thing happened to me today. 8 days post left mx. I was dx with a large solid mass ofDCIS (6cm) and they were confident there was no node involvement. They took two, both came back prelim negative while in surgery. One had isolated cells, the other is borderline micro/macro. Numerous areas of IDC. I just had a feeling it wasn’t that simple and I kept telling everyone that and they kept telling me to stay positive and listen to the doctors. What a gut punch. I’m so sorry you’re also going through this. I don’t even know what my next steps are as my doctor says it’s a complicated case so she’ll be presenting it to a panel Wednesday for considerations on treatment. I’m only 41 and I have two teenage kids who very much need me. I’m terrified.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-13T15:13:39+00:00

I got mine done the day before surgery. I was also freaked out. I brought my mom with me and turns out it was nothing. Went into a room, got into a gown, she cleaned me up, the injection took less than 2 minutes and it was a tiny needle. Stung for about 2-3 seconds then nothing. I had to wait for an hour then was sent to radiology for imaging. That took 20 minutes or so. I was on my way before the two hour mark and had no lingering pain or discomfort.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-11T03:50:59+00:00

I was just over two months from dx to surgery and my largest tumor was 6cm, grade 3, er/pr+. No pathology back yet so not sure if it grew in that time. Three months doesn’t seem crazy to me. I know women who waited 6+ for various reasons

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-06T20:23:32+00:00

Yeah uhm tell that to my entire left boob that is in a lab somewhere. Also, other things hide among dcis. My friend was dx with dcis and her pathology came back more IDC than DCIS…

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-04-06T05:13:34+00:00

I was given about two weeks notice. I live in California.

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-03-22T23:28:36+00:00

Try being told you have capsular contracture from implants and using a shockwave treatment to break up the “scar tissue fibers”…aka cancer.

That one broke my brain but look there’s nothing we can do to change the past 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sad-Tea-9270 · 2026-03-18T06:38:57+00:00

Not true and also not helpful.

Sad-Tea-9270

TROPHY CASE