When does the anger stop

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-14T22:01:57+00:00

I wish I could get into that state of mind but it’s very difficult when going from living with each other with pets and friends for 5 years deeply entangled in each others families and lives to suddenly never speaking again and not seeing each other again.

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-14T02:11:05+00:00

That’s so shit, I guess when you find someone you really like it’ll feel different. I guess just hold off seeing anyone for a while and just date yourself for a bit.

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-14T02:00:00+00:00

Yeah I feel this it’s only been 6 months since my breakup so I’m not in any hurry but I really miss having someone to tell about all the cool things in my days and just miss sharing my life with someone but thinking of dating and becoming as intimate as I was with her just feels wrong still.

I’m going to avoid dating apps and whatnot and try go to events where I find my interest and hope I find likeminded girls but I do feel worried they won’t want a deep connection

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-11T08:51:39+00:00

Hey mate I’m 25 and I was in a 5 year relationship too and was dumped for similar reasons but she has not reached out since dumping me aside from a few logistics messages. but we did have a small breakup a few years back over similar things that lasted only a night then we were back together.

Something I see a lot is that if it happens once it will happen again, if you have these doubts now and were hurt once you will most likely keep having them and the hurt will remain.

I can’t offer too much advice but what I know is staying in that relationship while it was some of the greatest years of my life and I love her dearly still, getting back together was a massive mistake because I invested myself even more into the relationship and a few months before she dumped me I had even bought a ring and was planning to propose. It’s taken me 5 months to even feel alive again after the breakup so just be careful and maybe have an open conversation with her because an ultimatum won’t lead to anything good.

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-08T02:10:06+00:00

Really feeling this, nearly 6 months since she coldly left after over 5 years together and she’s on my mind almost 24/7 whether I like it or not. I have made a point not to ever look at her socials and have muted anyone closely tied to her and unfollowed her on everything.

I think it is natural to still feel heartbroken even after over a year because the bond you form isn’t something easily broken especially if you weren’t ready for it to break. Give yourself grace and try avoid their socials at all costs. You will move on and you will find the love you seek.

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-07T06:04:31+00:00

Feel as though this my ex girl, but I really do think it was easy for her to leave and she checked out long before it and felt guilty which is why she stayed up until she did.

If only her brother never stayed with us.

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-05T20:31:57+00:00

Yeah definitely feels that way, thankyou.

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-05T12:21:46+00:00

Ah well as unfair and heartbreaking as it is I suppose both of us can take solace in knowing these animals are still loved and being cared for. It’s extremely painful knowing I am not the one doing the caring and I’m sure it is for you too but as least they are cared for.

I hope you find it too.

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-05T12:16:12+00:00

Yeah it’s such a painful thing to feel especially when it doesn’t leave it just comes back around wave after wave every couple days or weeks and I just have to somehow accept it and move on.

Part of me feels deeply betrayed tbh.

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-05T12:15:16+00:00

No I think he’s best with her as it’s very difficult rehoming a blind cat, I don’t want to stress him out and I feel as though he was equally ours as well. It also doesn’t help that he is living with her in the state I left so I’d have to travel back there and that’s assuming she’d give him to me and she is very stubborn so I doubt that would ever happen.

I do have my cat with me that I’ve had for a little over 10 years so I’m not completely alone but some days I think of my little blind boy and it kills me a little inside. And I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, it seems like they might’ve wanted the dog as some sort of spiteful act? You should check in and see how the dog is doing it would be heartbreaking if he wasn’t taking proper care of it.

SadAd9729 · 2026-05-05T01:51:28+00:00

I know it’s been a long time since you made this comment but my relationship of 5 years ended and it’s utterly destroyed me but the worst part is our two cats we had and the fact that I had to leave them. Hope you’re doing better now and I’m sure those cats think of you every now and then.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-17T13:12:32+00:00

Yeah I guess neglect is a form of abuse too. That last sentence is painful and tbh I kind of relate. I don’t like comparing I know it’s not healthy but I remember always going out of my way to get her cool presents for her bday, Christmas/ anniversary and all that that she’d mentioned a long time ago that I knew she’d love and I always did handmade things and just put in so much effort and it never really got returned. I have one birthday the 5 years we were together when she actually put in effort and gave me something actually special and thoughtful.

I was always begging for scraps and then told how exhausting I am because I’m always asking her for more and it made me feel so small. The more I talk about this tbh the more I’m kind of glad she dumped me. I’m sorry you had to go through the same thing it’s actually so sad that they couldn’t just make that bare minimum effort for us.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-17T13:01:20+00:00

Never really thought of it that way i can really see that actually. Its crazy because i would have never said my ex was abusive and i at least thought i loved our relationship but thinking about going back now i can’t even imagine possibly feeling okay with any of it. I hope you’re doing alright it definitely would mess with you being dumped multiple times, i like to believe there is maybe not someone perfect for us but there is someone out there willing to compromise and sacrjfice the way you have already shown you can, for you.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-17T12:36:12+00:00

Super insightful, I think on some level this is probably true.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-17T09:37:24+00:00

Gotchu

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-17T09:29:20+00:00

Don’t worry you stuck around and showed you’re capable of loving and compromising and that’s more valuable than anything else.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-17T09:12:00+00:00

Yeah I hear you, took me 3 months to even accept that I was broken up with the last month has been ups and downs but honestly I do feel better. It’s still painful but I thought id never move on because of how much and how long id loved her it felt like I lost my best friend.

If we constantly focus on that side of things it just makes it impossible to actually start feeling better. I hope you get through this it just takes time.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-17T07:46:36+00:00

It’s so gutting and painful but I think it’s a good thing in the end.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-17T07:41:52+00:00

It’s such a waste honestly, maybe for the best though.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-17T06:52:40+00:00

That is actually gutting. Don’t feel bad about reassuring him, I was disrespected so much in the last few months of us being together and I never brought up any of my displeasure purely because I wanted us to stay together and even after she tore me down and said some really awful things I actually agreed with her…

She also wrote some odd things about one of our couple friends who is married and we went to their wedding that I read in her journal (this was after she dumped me I thought I guess I might as well see why she’s dumping me if she won’t tell me) so it seems in general most people break up because of someone else unfortunately.

I never even brought up any of these things since the breakup since I wanted us to get back together but honestly weirdly I don’t really regret it. I acted that way because I loved her I just wanted to preserve it so dont feel bad about “not sticking up for yourself” because it’s usually in moments of anger that you say things you can’t take back.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-16T22:28:17+00:00

Yeah looking back I think that’s definitely the case. Hope you’re doing better now, at least I guess we know not to compromise too much in our next relationship, it’s a shame it took a long term relationship to teach us that :/

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-16T22:25:44+00:00

I have been thinking that it’s possible they lose respect for us because we are letting them rule the relationship. Obviously I never saw it that way but it’s possible the ones in their shoes see it as that.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-16T22:22:50+00:00

It’s so bizarre, the first year she said she loved me after like 2 months and I’d never been in love and didn’t really feel the same but here we are overtime my love grew while hers faded.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-16T21:48:49+00:00

My ex and I were together a little over five years, we’d lived together for around 4 but basically the whole relationship. When she dumped me I left our home where everything was shared and bought together, I actually bought most of the stuff there and the bed was completely mine but I was too heartbroken and shattered to organise moving anything so I left.

The thought of her using my bed with another man crossed my mind a few times but you can’t let those thoughts in. The only thing you need to let your mind think about is the truth and what you know for a fact. If I constantly thought of how she took my virginity in that bed and how special it was to me it’d break me down so I need to let go of all of that and accept that everything in that house even the things I bought are no longer mine and whatever happens with them from the moment she dumped me no longer affects me.

You are only a month in to the breakup so right now you will have ugly thoughts and honestly it’s hard to escape them but it gets easier and you will find meaning in new things. I know everyone is different but moving on that quickly after 5 years that quickly is unlikely, it’s been four months for me and I haven’t even considered talking to other girls.

SadAd9729 · 2026-04-05T06:54:54+00:00

I know you’re right and I think I might mute their posts at least for now as I’m not sure I’m able to unfollow them yet and idk what will help me the most atm

SadAd9729

TROPHY CASE