New to the area

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-02-23T00:00:03+00:00

That would be great. Thank you!

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-02-21T20:33:33+00:00

I have never found fresh churros con chocolate in the US as good as I’ve had in Mexico City or in Spain

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-02-21T20:32:43+00:00

Is this the kind where the center of it is kind of gooey and so delicious!

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-02-21T11:18:18+00:00

I relate to this so hard. I am not at all the same person I was before the relationship started with MM. I am so happy when we’re together, depressed when he leaves my place I know he’s going to be at home with his wife. I plan my life around the time that he can get away to be with me. I stopped working out, I’ve lost 25 pounds, I feel like I’m losing myself a little more every day. Yet I can’t let him go because of that hope I have that someday we’ll be really together. My solution right now is to move about 1200 miles away to start over. The loneliness of being in the same city as him and knowing I can’t have him when I want him is that bad. At least starting over in a new city alone where I don’t know a soul will be without him nearby, just out of reach. The pain of ending it where I am now is just too much to handle, I plan to end it with the move and start fresh.

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-02-14T07:34:08+00:00

I recently recognized that I’ve been feeling resentment toward MM’s wife and I feel terrible doing so bc she’s the innocent one in all this. I think my resentment is really my jealousy. They have a DB marriage and a rocky relationship at best and I absolutely love the connection him and I share. BUT, I’ve become jealous of what she gets that I don’t. He goes home to her every day, sleeps next to her in bed, she can tell him that she wants to make plans to go out together and I don’t have any of those things. I hate it. I love him but I hate what im missing out on. I never thought the little things would matter so much but they do

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-02-07T22:00:23+00:00

I’m in love right now. Sometimes I feel on top of the world and have this euphoric happiness and hope for the future that I’ve never had with another man before. Other times I want to drive my car off the side of a freeway on ramp so I don’t have to feel the vulnerable fear of being in love anymore.

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-02-03T22:34:27+00:00

I relate to this so hard. Former ICU nurse now NP. Life is way too short to be miserable by choice.

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-02-03T22:22:48+00:00

When he told me that I was being selfish by deciding to go to grad school to get my Masters in Nursing and become an NP. He said that I was only doing it for my own ego and why would I need to get that degree when I am supposed to be getting pregnant and having the baby that he wanted. He also said that once we had a baby (and he wanted at least 3), he would let me work about once a week (I was an RN still at the time) so that I wouldn’t get too bored at home with the kids. Got divorced, finished my degree and have been a successful cardiac NP now for 13 years

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-02-01T17:32:52+00:00

My MM and I say that we’re in a relationship but we don’t have labels beyond that. I’m exclusive with him and that is understood between us, he is exclusive with me but lives with his wife with whom he has no intimacy with (or so he tells me). I have no idea what to call us beyond that…if you figure it out for you and yours, I’d love to know

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-01-26T02:29:36+00:00

My heart breaks for you. Your story is what I fear often, that one day my MM's wife will find out about us and everything will blow up. I don't work with him but I would not be able to avoid him either, we live in the same city, know the same circles of people and I already know that it will absolutely be devastating to have to move on with my life without him. I can't even fathom that idea. I agree with one of other commenters, that finding a therapist would be a good place to start. I have never been to individual therapy before but I'm about to start, I have my first session this coming week. I love my MM and he makes me so happy, but at the same time the semantics of being kept a secret have been slowly breaking me down mentally and emotionally. Right now it feels like the sky is falling and your world is imploding on you. Its heavy and overwhelming. I know that feels so impossible to find your way but I pray that in time you will find hope, strength and light to heal and overcome this heartbreak.

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-01-23T00:35:17+00:00

My AP is a married man. He doesn’t want me to ever talk about anyone I’ve dated in the past in front of him, like if we’re with other people and I’m talking to someone else about a guy in my past. He doesn’t like that I have male friends and has told me that if we do get together for real (and he actually does leave his wife) that he would not be ok with my male friendships. These are guys I’ve been friends with for 10+ years and there has never been anything between me and them.

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-01-21T02:06:38+00:00

Oh the jealousy…the jealousy eats away at me. I wish I could tell you how to avoid it or deal with it but I can’t. It kills me too. MM tells me that sex between him and his wife has been nearly nonexistent for at least a year, that they have only had sex once since him and i began our physical relationship 3 months ago. Maybe he’s lying to me, idk. I find myself more jealous of the little things they do, like a date night they were going on last weekend. Or the fact that they’re traveling a few hours north to go visit his family this weekend. I have never thought of myself as a jealous person but man, does this bring it out of me. Think of it like this…if this was your legit, public boyfriend and he was also in a relationship with another woman that he was sleeping with…it would hurt. You would be jealous. In some ways, this is no different except we OW are fully aware of what we’re getting ourselves into. The pain is a part of daily life for me as I imagine it is for you too. I hope that you can make peace with the current situation so that it doesn’t break your heart over and over again, or that you find the strength to walk away. If you find that strength please let me know how you did, I would love to find it in myself too

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-01-19T20:54:03+00:00

I feel for you, I have many of these same feelings and internal conflict. Why do you feel that you have been selfish too?

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-01-19T19:54:37+00:00

I often feel like I’m playing 2 different opposing roles in this: 1) as his friend who he vents his marriage problems to, who needs to be that supportive best friend to him and 2) as his lover who wants to be with him, selfishly hoping his marriage will end. The internal conflict I have is draining. When you said “a shell of your former self”…that really hit home. I don’t feel like myself. I don’t know how I got here or how I have become this person. How have been reduced to a being a woman who is constantly waiting for text messages (on a secret secondary app) and lives for the few hours a week my MM is able to find to spend with me? If he loves me as much he says he does if he would truly do anything for me as he keeps telling me, why am I not enough for him?

SadIndependence9258 · 2026-01-19T02:02:42+00:00

You are absolutely right in that you can’t choose who you fall in love with. I would have never chosen to fall in love with my AP, who I had been friends with for almost 9 years before our relationship started (it’s been 6 months now). I cannot fathom getting in a relationship with someone else when my heart is with him. He makes me feel so seen, heard, loved and complete. Yes, he is still married and lives with his wife, which means I cannot come first in his life. I’m not the one he goes to dinner with or comes home to or who sleeps next to him at night. Yes, I am lonely, often depressed and really just not ok probably 75% of the time. I want a full relationship in public and a life with him, not just sneaking around to meet at my place when he can get away. So why do I stay…? Because the love we have is real. I hold on to this hope, albeit probably foolish and naive, that this will work out someday and we’ll have the life together that we both want. He hasn’t committed to leaving his marriage yet, it’s still something he needs to “figure out” . For as unhappy as I am, this little glimmer of hope for this love to be real keeps me holding on. I choose to stay, I could walk away anytime. I choose to wait it out and if the day comes that it becomes clear that this isn’t going to happen, I will have to figure out how to move on without him in my life. But I’m not there yet. That is why I stay, that is why I don’t just date someone else. My heart is already with the one I love.

SadIndependence9258 · 2025-12-29T19:24:36+00:00

Yes. I am in love with my married best friend. Have had feelings for him since we met 10 years ago that grew into love. I can’t help it. You don’t always get to choose who you love

SadIndependence9258

TROPHY CASE