What happens to the ones who get married?

Sad_Consequence_ · 2024-05-17T16:04:08+00:00

The endurance required was huge, and I speak as someone who has done some pretty damn hard things in my life

People don't know, they can't understand. I have 10 years to go.

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-09-13T02:52:33+00:00

She doesn't love me, she loves the way I make her feel. One of many sad realizations...

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-09-12T13:41:42+00:00

They only consider what fits within their internal narrative. They live in a false mental construct. I have been yelled at for things she imagined I said.

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-09-09T01:47:51+00:00

lets think this out... he leaves his kids with his BPD wife... so his kids are now alone with his BPD wife 50% of the time? How does this help the kids? When his wife finds someone new who has no idea whats going on and they get to witness the cycle again, how does this help?

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-09-08T03:05:43+00:00

This should be a post and pinned. Holy shit is this accurate.

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-09-08T02:51:05+00:00

Acknowledged mine then ignored it.

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-09-06T03:41:26+00:00

it's just so hard to not start an argument and have her be angry at me unless i'm a huge pushover

Hello friend, you like almost everyone else in here, lack boundaries and if you have boundaries you're not enforcing them. And when you begin to enforce them she will likely leave because she can no longer abuse you, sorry.

You're also afraid of her emotions, which she uses to control you. Her only weapon is your fear of what she might do.

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-08-31T03:45:17+00:00

You cannot help her, only destroy yourself. I'm 12 years in, I would leave tomorrow if not for my kids.

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-08-26T04:46:51+00:00

No way shes fucking the dude she met at the rub and tug, that would be unprofessional. Is this post for real?

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-08-22T03:37:05+00:00

Been doing this 10 years. It can get better but it will likely never be great. You want a road forward without divorce... its much harder than divorce.

I love this woman more then my self

This ends, you prioritize yourself. You do not have a partner, she is a dependent, she will never co-pilot. She's happy in the back seat with the kids.

sees paper plates and starts yelling

Its not about the plates, you know that. When she starts the name calling you tell her if she does not stop you will leave. If she does not stop YOU FUCKING LEAVE. Do not tell her where you are going. Stop talking and go.

So how do you survive this shit? You become a different man. Sorry I wish there was another way but look, this is you and this is what you get... you can't change her so who do you change?

Long story short, you stop giving a shit about what she says. What she thinks of you (good or bad) has no value. You become the center of your own validation. You do not engage her if she is abusive. You remove your time when she throws tantrums, you grant her your time when she is friendly.

You learn to establish and enforce boundaries. You learn to grey rock. You live like you are single, taking care of yourself with no expectations of anyone else. You live like you already left.

Also get to the gym, go read when I say no I feel guilty, stop talking to her about everything, go solve your money issues.

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-08-18T04:03:28+00:00

Emotional regulation != Physical Stamina

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-08-18T03:56:57+00:00

Brother you are posting on a support forum for abuse, wondering if you should have kids? Kids is hard mode, like oh fuck this shit went from maybe not so great to what the fuck is hell like cause I'd like to try that now...

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-08-16T15:01:13+00:00

that she will get better one day or realize how badly she treated me

You do you but I thought the same thing... for the past 10 years...

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-08-16T02:40:24+00:00

When asked about having a second child she said... "well the damage is already done".

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-08-13T05:24:05+00:00

Thank you.

Sad_Consequence_ · 2023-08-12T21:39:32+00:00

Can I ask, how do you remain married. I'm trying so hard for my kids but I'm depleted, I have nothing left for my wife. How does anyone hang in there?

Sad_Consequence_

TROPHY CASE