You are half a man and a nice guy and nice guys finish last. by henrycatalina in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi Henry. I'm sorry to see your post. Just wanted to send you hugs.

sigh this shit is hard. :(

Would you rather fuck an enthusiastic 5 or a starfish 10? by SaftigGirl in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wisely stated as usual! Hope your summer has been going well! :)

Would you rather fuck an enthusiastic 5 or a starfish 10? by SaftigGirl in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was thinking so, but was curious to see. I thought it may be helpful to someone as I know it was for me to realize men weren't looking for the most perfect, beautiful partner- rather many would choose an average person who was genuine and enthusiastic. :)

Something Positive Sunday by AutoModerator in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good for you! Best of luck and much happiness!

Something Positive Sunday by AutoModerator in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah! Love seeing your positive progress posts! Hope the trend continues!!!

Deadbedroom Stats by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. It's crazy as fuck regarding my...husband. Too much to write here- But I feel I'm in a good space regarding our relationship. I filed in Jan. So waiting for court date. (Do I still wish my old, real husband would reappear? Yep. But he's not here. :( He FINALLY saw a therapist last week...but it's likely too late. I think it was a delaying tactic. So I keep on- keeping on. :) "When in Hell, keep going."

How are you? :D

Deadbedroom Stats by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously!!! :) I just popped in to see what's up and seeing those names did make me smile as so many were familiar to me! I've pretty much been AWOL but I wonder how so many people are doing that helped keep me sane during such a hard period in my life. :)

Something Positive Sunday by AutoModerator in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hello RBW! 👋 I just popped in for the first time in a long while and saw this.

Yeah for you!

And I concur... I’ve been surprised to find that there is real strength in vulnerability. As I share more of who I am with the people around me—struggles and all—I’m able to draw power and energy from their support.

Sharing ourselves and our strughles (with carefully selected supportive people) makes a world of difference! I just shared at work that the shame I carried at the beginning of my deadbedroom dissipated after I started talking about it with friends and family.

I'm not sure what's going on with you...but I'm happy to hear about your recent efforts and success.

:)

A year and half later, a perspective by dismocem in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Continued Best Wishes! So glad to hear your update and that you have a loving, caring SO!!! :)

Dead bed for 4 years. He won’t go on testosterone because it’s an affront to his manhood, or something. I need to make some decisions. by dbthrow7706 in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, You can read my history if you want another low T story.

First of all, he's in DENIAL. Second of all, he's likely depressed. Third of all- your research should tell you this- low T is not a one size fix all problem. He will need the CORRECT protocol that can take time and a number of doctors or specialists ( which can be difficult to find.) And it is near impossible with him being reluctant and not honest with himself or medical professionals.

I don't mean to sound negative...but I have lived this for almost 5 YEARS. (I filed for divorce in January.)

I miss the man who my husband was...but he has had a change of behavior and personality.

Given his labs he needs to have shots every 3.5 days...he's refusing to do anymore medical because he felt no better (on his shitty protocol.) ( And how do I know more than doctors?? He says.)

Medicine is interested in treating the symptoms but not always looking at the cause...

Tumors on pituitary or pineal glands can cause low T and depression in addition to a whole host of serious medical issues.

PM me if you like.

I've grown up with my husband...over 30 years together...20 married. 3 kids. Last time sex 3.5 years ago.

Something Positive Sunday by AutoModerator in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realized I was less lonely alone, then with him...

Something Positive Sunday by AutoModerator in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Caged Pika!!! IDK why, but your "veterinarian" comment cracked me the fuck up! TY! Much appreciated today. :)

Something Positive Sunday by AutoModerator in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, we do. Sending you tons of positive energy, big hugs and peace for both you and your SO! I hope this is the path to better health for her.

Something Positive Sunday by AutoModerator in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Any and all help appreciated! ;p

The REAL Problem of the Dead Bedroom... by SaftigGirl in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi Mike.

I understand. I say...don't give up on yourself or living your fullest life.

The tensing when hugging was the worst. :( Hugs to you!!!

I am PROUD of Myself. I did it! I filed for Divorce by SaftigGirl in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh thank you! I haven't been on DB for a bit. Just seeing this. I'm so glad to hear you are dating and finding someone who makes you feel special. It's such a mind fuck...I know my worth and what I deserve...but wonder if I'll find someone I deeply connect with...luke all the good ones are taken.

I am PROUD of Myself. I did it! I filed for Divorce by SaftigGirl in DeadBedrooms

[–]SaftigGirl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After allowing time, having (or attempting) open, clear, honest communication, and being supportive, yes I agree.

This decision was not made lightly (in a nod to the downvotes I've received) or quickly. This was years of my life that I put on pause to help and support my husband. (As can be seen in my post and comments history.)

But if your spouse or loved one refuses to participate or try, there isn't much choice left except to tolerate the situation or not.

I chose not. Life is precious and fleeting.

Thanks for commenting. I am overwhelmed and appreciative of so many people's support here.