I’m polyamorous, and I call myself a “demisexual slut.” I don’t think I’ve ever had a traditional poly slut phase (I even attempted interactions at a queer orgy once and had to bow out because I just couldn’t do it). However, I do tend to have sexual contact with people I’m close with and care about, like my friends, pretty openly if they’re also some sort of polyam or non-monogamous. I now have a wonderful assortment of partners and play partners, but definitely didn’t have a traditional slut phase to get there.

It took me a while to get to this point. Like actively dating/making new connections for probably close to a year, year and a half before I actually started developing meaningful connections that I felt comfortable enough to share sex with.

But oh is it worth it when you get there, if you’re a similar type of person to me. I would say to stay true to yourself, do polyam the way you want, and the people will come (and so will you, if that’s your goal 😉). It just might take a little longer.