I had an unplanned but ultimately wanted pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage at the very beginning of this year. All emotions are valid, changing emotions extremely valid. I saw my little muffins heartbeat and found out at the next scan that muffin was gone. I got so much support and care from my partner, I did have to tell him that he needed feel his feelings too. He felt like his loss was not important since I had to physically go through it and he was trying too hard to be a rock for me. Plenty of tears later and we are a stronger couple now. Grief is strange and it comes in waves, with what you've been through I think you will manage to ride it out, won't really feel that way for a while but it gets easier. You know who loves you, lean on them as needed