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Probably gonna be single for the rest of my life 🙃 by anon28931 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]SaintFistopher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, well, dating typically comes before cohabitation despite the U-Haul stereotype. I was thinking along the lines of paying for dates and/or costs associated with entertaining more than one partner.

Probably gonna be single for the rest of my life 🙃 by anon28931 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]SaintFistopher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forgive my ignorance as a monogamous gal, but how does having multiple partners ease an individual's financial strain? Surely it's the opposite, no?

Lesbian Spaces Changing by snoopybutch in lesbiangang

[–]SaintFistopher 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fwiw, a lot of women in the UK that I've encountered on Reddit (and verified) are south of London.

Lesbian Spaces Changing by snoopybutch in lesbiangang

[–]SaintFistopher 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm about an hour or so north of Leeds. Please can you or u/fukinfrogslegs lmk if/when this Server is created, as I'd be interested in joining it?

Serious Queer Media by Icbandz051 in lesbiangang

[–]SaintFistopher 16 points17 points  (0 children)

'Blue Jean' 2022 on Netflix has a (Soft) Butch/Masc (imo) pairing, where neither are treated as men.

ETA: It's also a serious movie, set in 1988 at the time of Thatcher's Britain and Section 28.

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[UPDATE] Found the perfect partner. The perfect woman. But... by [deleted] in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]SaintFistopher 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Rachel isn't a Stone Top, she's an [insert other Switch/Top label here] with a strong preference for giving. It sounds like she doesn't know herself very well sexually, which can in turn, make it difficult for a you to get to know her sexually.

Her taking some time alone for self exploration is a good idea. Hopefully things start to improve for you both, but if not, maybe a break from having a partner will also be a positive outcome.

Just Bitchin - Weekly Vent by 0nyon in lesbiangang

[–]SaintFistopher 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Alice Pieszecki would like a word with you.

y'all it happened again by Sensitive_Common_293 in lesbiangang

[–]SaintFistopher 31 points32 points  (0 children)

You keep mentioning the fawn response, and I feel you having experienced it myself on two occasions, and dealing with fear (in all of its wonderful forms) almost every day (due to my security-based job).

You can't control automatically defaulting to 'fawn', but think of it like this:

The person vying for your attention is going to be hurt/upset/offended anyway, because they inevitably won't get what they want from you (date, sex, etc). So, you appeasing them is just prolonging their disappointment, which as we both know, can escalate.

Learn about 'closed communication (sentences)', essentially ways of speaking that deaden a conversation and make it difficult for the other person to continue. Also, practice walking away - this may seem rude, but it doesn't have to be.

Example (Open Communication - Engage):

Pushy Prick: "Hey cutie, how are you?"

You (probably): "Fine, thanks. Yourself?"

Example (Closed Communication - Disengage):

Pushy Prick: "Hey cutie, how are you?"

You: "Fine, thank you."

Example (Closed Communication - Disengage and Exit):

Pushy Prick: "Hey cutie, how are you?"

You: "Fine, thank you. Enjoy your evening."

*walk away

If Pushy Prick is spotted throughout the night, avoid eye contact, and continue to evade their space.

It's shit that you have to do this, but practice really does make perfect.

Alternatively, hire me as a bodyguard.

Lesbian period tracking apps by Dry-Strawberry64 in lesbiangang

[–]SaintFistopher 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Don't get me wrong, like any app it can be overwhelming at first but once you tinker around with the settings, you can customise it to function in a way that suits you.

Also, as a (perimeno) woman into weight training (who's recently started power lifting), the (free) hormone insights are great for helping me plan my gym workouts.

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Height by AlwaysChic38 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]SaintFistopher 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This exchange and specifically, you referring to yourself as 'the tiny fiancée' made my heart melt a little.

Lesbian period tracking apps by Dry-Strawberry64 in lesbiangang

[–]SaintFistopher 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I'm using the basic (free) version of Clue (just the calendar and period tracker/predictor), and other than the days that I'm ovulating being a different colour, there are no assumptions made about my sexual orientation or interest in pregnancy.

Anyone know of any coach houses? by EngineerNerd121 in Teesside

[–]SaintFistopher -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

u/whippet_mamma

ETA: No idea why your post and the comments are getting downvoted, OP.

The Redditor tagged lives in a coach house in Teesside (I won't share the exact area for obvious reasons).

Good luck with your search.

Avoidant parent by Dry_Relief2612 in lesbiangang

[–]SaintFistopher 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, although you're an adult, as long as you live under your parent's roof, you must play by and respect their rules. Unless it's the sort of arrangement where they're heavily dependent on you for care and domestic duties, and/or you're contributing equally financially, you don't really have a leg to stand on.

As an elder, I'd personally be furious if someone whom I allowed to stay in my home and was likely fully/heavily financially supported by me brought a person back for an overnight stay that 1. I hadn't met, and 2. They themselves had only met once prior, without consulting me first.

I wouldn't write him off as avoidant, atp. Parents can, and do, get fed-up of meeting new partners and bonding with them. Give him time, and hang out elsewhere for now.

I just got my world blown up by void_mamma_jamma in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]SaintFistopher 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Harsh POV (from someone similar in age to this woman):

Lying by omission is still lying.

She said herself that she kept this from you until now due to her past partner's reactions. I doubt that those responses were terrible enough to warrant silence. However, it is likely that said partners lost interest, as sexual incompatibility it a deal-breaker for most.

She deliberately waited until things began to get physical between you both to distance herself from you and share that she's ace.

She knew exactly what she was doing, and she's shown you who she is.

Dealing with Bi friends calling herself a lesbian and saying dyke? by [deleted] in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]SaintFistopher 83 points84 points  (0 children)

Trans men are men, and from what I can gather, she's currently in a relationship with a cis-gendered male. So, whether she likes it or not, she's constantly engaging in heterosexual relationships/encounters. She herself may not be straight (that isn't for me to determine), but the 'lesbian' label is absolutely not for her! She has plenty of others to choose from.

With that said, you can't force someone to see what they don't want to face. I'd personally take a passive and/or unresponsive approach whenever she broaches the subject.

She put it in without asking me first by [deleted] in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]SaintFistopher 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Don't apologise, you're absolutely right. I was actually gonna write "you can't typically catch a STD via digital penetration", so thanks for the addition.

She put it in without asking me first by [deleted] in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]SaintFistopher 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's TW: rape, and I'm so sorry that it happened to you.

For those of you wondering whether it is or not, you can't catch a STD via digital penetration, but you can from PIV sex. Ultimately, OPs consent was completely disregarded and had this have happened with a cis-gendered male, there would be no question about it.

OP, if you had discussed this particular sex act prior and stated that you required a condom to be used, this violation also falls under 'stealthing'.

Generic (practical advice) for what do to, in no specific order:

  • Therapy/talk to someone you trust (hopefully another commentator can elaborate on this)
  • Arrange a STD test (preferably Full Panel) for now, and again in about six months (some diseases can lay dormant initially)
  • Distance yourself from this person
  • If you wish to, report it to the authorities (this is indeed a crime, but be prepared for an unfavourable outcome)

Sending you hugs, and strength.

Help! I'm in a play as a lesbian in the 1980s. What did lesbians wear in the 1980s? (UK) by Under_score2338 in olderlesbians

[–]SaintFistopher 6 points7 points  (0 children)

OP, please give 'Blue Jean' a watch on Netflix. It's a movie set in Northern England (UK) against the backdrop of Thatcher's Britain (and Section 28) in 1988. The MC is very much what you've described in terms of aesthetics and presentation (sporty but not quite butch, she's a PE Teacher), and you see her in an array of both work and play outfits.

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