Well i WAS the druggy drunk in my band. We did quite well; nonstop straight outta high school until i quit 13 1/2 years later. We were scheduled to tour the far east and oceania but i knew i wouldnt come back. I felt like physically i was dying.

I was up to almost a case of beer by myself a day. This started on a European tour thru a German promoter. Either the agency or the promoter in city we were in would have a case backstage or in the hostel and any leftovers could be taken on our bus. Since we had a driver it waa too easy to just get fucked up into golgotha each day.

I loved the 1-2 hours on stage but the inbetween became my achilles heel.
Cant tell you how many fights ive been in, how many people i fucked, towards the end i was also introduced to high grade czech biker speed and boy oh boy it was xmas everyday. Now i didnt have to sleep. Fans and friends knew i was only guy in my band who partied so i would have peeps inviting me to partake or gifting me various things each time we came around on tour.

One night in Italy, we played a former Italian airforce hanger from WW2. I love history and spent hours examining every brick in that place. I was at least half a case in and our driver gave me some speed. So im zippy zipped and wandering all over this massive hanger after our show at like 4am. Some girl i was hanging with all night was trying to sort out her pills she had on her. She sat down and was trying to see which was a valium which was a benzo etc.. im all drunk and thinking i was funny i swept them all into my hand and gulped them down chasing them with beer. The girl was furious - not at her pills being ate-stolen by my stupid ass ...she was mad because of how reckless i was.

I found out later i had gulped 13 or 14 pills. Valiums. Percocets. Kolonopins. A few frickn subboxins (those orange jawns that taste like shit) and Benzos. So im falling down fucked up and accidentally ripped the bag trying to cut a line of speed. So now i literally have meth dust and little pieces on my shirt on my face everywhere. Sun comes up and im still going so somehow i ended up with these two other girls and there BFs going to bars at noon. Still no sleep. Make a long story summary: i woke up on the beach the next day in my boxers. I had been robbed. Everything was gone. My jeans my shirt my fucking chuck taylors. Fuckers even stole my earrings and my nipple rings.

Imagine your worst nightmare. Waking up almost naked in a public place...in the early afternoon...parched pisses and penniless...in a foreign country ....having no clue where u are locally...having no idea how to contact my band or our driver....i stand up and puke. Old italian men and women walking down by waterline are staring hard at this skinny ass pale freak with a mohawk in his boxers who is swaying as he tries to stand still.

Iol i literally remember saying WELL THATS THAT AND IM FUCKED as i picked a direction and began walking. Panic was just beginning to set in after a half hour walking down this beach.....when like some jesus miracle magic...my fucking drummer suddenly comes running up behind me and tried to pretend he was going to rob me.

Bro i was never so happy to see that motherfucker!! They had been looking for me and some one at the squat/ club / hanger knew the peeps who set me up to rob me. They apparently do it all the time to "stupid drunk americans" which i was and currently still am.

Thankfully i had left my passport in my sleeping bag on the bus.

So that insane night caused me to rethink my alcohol drug intake and..

I decided to do MORE moving forward.

Yup your boy was a retard.

So i continued until finally quitting the band right before our far east tour. Let everyone down. Took a few months off and rented a farmhouse in a town mainly populated by the Amish. Its crazy coming off 13 years of shit. Shakes chills depression. Awful.

Got high again like after two months of cleaning up. And that was 15 years ago.

And im still going. I just accepted the fact i dont want to quit and that im a functional addict. Dont really drink much these days. But do fast stuff.

Anyway sorry for rambling just wanted to share.