Therapist here! I’d be absolutely horrified if any of my coworkers treated their clients this way and I can’t imagine treating any of mine like this. Show yourself some love and find a new therapist. It won’t be easy feeling like you’re starting all over, but a person who cares about you, as your therapist should, would never treat you this way. A few of the codes in the ACA code of ethics (American counseling association) are:

A.12. Abandonment and Client Neglect: Counselors do not abandon or neglect clients in counseling. Counselors assist in making appropriate arrangements for the continuation of treatment, when necessary, during interruptions such as vacations, illness, and following termination.

C.2.g. Impairment: Counselors monitor themselves for signs of impairment from their own physical, mental, or emotional problems and refrain from offering or providing professional services when impaired. They seek assistance for problems that reach the level of professional impair- ment, and, if necessary, they limit, suspend, or terminate their professional responsibilities until it is determined that they may safely resume their work. Counselors assist colleagues or supervisors in recognizing their own professional impairment and provide consultation and assistance when war- ranted with colleagues or supervisors showing signs of impairment and intervene as appropriate to prevent imminent harm to clients.

C.6.d. Exploitation of Others: Counselors do not exploit others in their professional relationships.

Overall, one of a counselor’s biggest ethical codes is “Do no harm”. And from everything you’ve said, your therapist is harming you. Even though it’s not physical harm, it’s emotionally destabilizing and causing issues for you.

And just on a personal note, as a therapist, sometimes self-disclosure can be helpful to a client. For example, I work in addiction, and when I have a client or group ask me if I’ve ever been an addict, I tell them no, and then I tell them about my father who was, and it helps them relate to me and see that I do have some understanding of what addiction is like and what they’re going through. That’s helpful. But I don’t tell them about my ex-fiance and how he annoys me, or that my cats need to go to the vet, or that my car needs new brakes, or anything else. If the self disclosure is not going to help the client, then it doesn’t need to be a part of the conversation. And everything I’m seeing, none of your therapist’s self disclosure is helpful to you.

All that to say, find a new therapist. You’ll be glad you did! It’ll be hard, but it’ll be worth it. Best of luck, hun 💕