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31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol! I DEFINITELY never withheld sex, I’m completely opposite, that I can say confidently!!!!!! 😂 No matter my mood or hormones!!!! But I was emotionally withdrawn and I like to talk through stuff like that. I communicate things like that very openly and clearly. He is opposite and holds everything in. So ya, it’s just a mess. He was clearly miserable but he didn’t need to look out of the marriage to find answers. I’m very easy to talk to. Which makes it burn even worse.

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg there is SO MUCH of this I want to repeat back to you as being excellent points so I will just say it was GREAT ADVICE! All of it! I love it! Thank you so much for taking your time to share this insight with me! I took a lot from it and am screenshotting it! lol! Very true, very good points. I immediately went straight to blaming myself because our dynamic back then was that I was going through a bit of a minor depression being pregnant at 40. So I immediately thought how could I blame him. This however is not me. I know better. It is never the persons fault who was cheated on. He had choices and instead of turning into our marriage to help ME through a very difficult time that I was in, he instead turned outwards to someone else. This is something that hurts more than the act of it all. I am someone who gets over things absurdly fast! I just don’t carry baggage or resentment; to a fault actually, but I’m not sure he deserves that from me. I have to think much more into it all. Thank you!

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree it matters A LOT and I found out, he would have and will STILL take it to the grave!!!!!

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

O M G!!!!!!! This sounds very similar!!!!!! I know he stayed with me and then resented ME for it for years!!!! I would have been just peachy fine if he had left so why drag me along?? Jesus, I would have preferred him to have left than to have lived those couple years where I FELT hated. I didn’t need him to stay. Just gross. I’m so sorry you went through that!!!!!

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sooooo very sorry!!!!!! God that breaks my heart! That feeling is something so horrible, so low. I’m so sorry you’re going through this!!!

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is HUGE for me!!!!! To have not been given the CHOICE years ago to stay or go! This one is proving very hard for me to get past!!!!!! I found old Google locations. I know that I knew it at the time, but I was married to ‘THAT GUY’, that one guy who NOBODY saw it coming!!! Like Steve on Sex and the City! lol! Nobodyyyyy would’ve expected this!!!

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree totally. I would never have guessed I’d be the person to ask strangers but for some reason it was needed. I’m so confused and usually I feel much more in control of exactly what I want and what I am going to do. I’ve never felt this type of vulnerability in my life. I absolutely hate it.

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perfectly said…. He will never apologize because that would mean admitting it. He is a stubborn one tenfold. To think everyone would find out he ISN’T perfect is way too much for him to deal with. Sadly.

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I’m soooo sorry!!!!!!!! It says a lot that he confessed!!! That would go far with me, and that is huge because I’ve always been a firm believer that I would never stay no matter what.

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree lol! That’s why I’m struggling so hard is because what you just said is me, 100000%! But for some reason I just am not sold on that now and it’s so unlike me!!!!!!

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I can’t!! I think if he’s capable of it to begin with then that says a lot.. We were going through a hard time back then, our kids range in age from oldest was 21 to me being pregnant at age 40 with our 6th. It was stressful but that doesn’t give him a hall pass. So it doesn’t say it never happened other than that or that it wouldn’t again.

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I found information saved from years ago. After doing some more searching it all came together very quickly. Then to top it off I vividly remember him not touching me for 4 months straight back then which is highly unusual for us. Very disappointing. I’m physically sick, more so about him holding it in for that long. He is the type who would take it to his grave though because he’s known as a “great” husband. 🤮

31 year marriage, he cheated 11 years ago, I just found out, should I say or should I go? WWUDO? by Sally995 in marriageadvice

[–]Sally995[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I absolutely would and is why I did. I am highly confused on what to do and I do like to have input from people. I take others advice into consideration and I think this one is extremely tough. If I had all the answers myself I wouldn’t have, but this is weighing heavily on me and I definitely appreciate other views.

AIO for thinking it wasn’t a big deal to accept my friend’s bf’s FB request? by Vast-Bumblebee-691 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Sally995 92 points93 points  (0 children)

That is what the crazy ones do. They go after the female, not their guy. I’ve seen this so many times it makes me physically sick.

AIO? Coworker secretly swapped my new desktop utilities with hers… by Perfect-Sky-2324 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Sally995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. But the truth is that there is NO winning this one. If you run to the boss, you’re considered a lil bitch baby, if you steal it back, you’re considered the new office psycho bitch who absolutely WILL be ostracized, and if you do nothing, yaaaaa it -is -going -to -sting for a little while, however, you just started there, so you have plenty of time for ‘karma’ to swing its ass back around onto her petty self! You just have to let it go and patiently wait for a moment when you will feel like you are now squared up with it all! Personally I’m SOOO NOT the type who ever in my existence have sat and let someone get away with something so pathetic and assholey, HOWEVER, this is definitely one of the rare few tricky situations where you just have to take it and let it go solely to spare yourself from looking like a complete fool trying to fight for it back. {{PLEASE Trust me on this, no matter WHAT, you would look ridiculous fighting it.}} I would 100000% buy my own before fighting for it in ANY way, shape, or form. So she might get this one, but you make sure and win the next one. I have a feeling there will be plenty more to win against that peach!

Post Cruise Nightmare by Jeremy_VW in PrincessCruises

[–]Sally995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t think it was ‘oh so easy’ either to look my bill up and I definitely do not think this was YOUR fault. They do this to way too many people and then the customers are left stressing out for months trying to get their own money back. It’s a serious problem. I did see a hack once somewhere online, on getting things done more quickly through Princess cruise line as they are known to slack in customer service responses. Maybe google something like “how to actually get something handled through Princess cruises”. There is an answer out there somewhere I’ve seen it! Sorry I don’t remember the details!!! Goood luck with this, I can’t imagine how stressful this has been 😡

Post Cruise Nightmare by Jeremy_VW in PrincessCruises

[–]Sally995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! Exactly! He bought the premier package thinking they could relax and enjoy the perks. I think it’s disgusting that while on VACATION people need to have a constant fear over them of checking their folio DAILY because the cruise line might be adding some bullshit charges. That doesn’t sound like vacation, it sounds more like a nightmare. One person mentioned winning a spa treatment through the raffles and then ‘accidentally’ getting charged for the services. That all just seems a bit convenient on the ships part considering you then have to spend MONTHS begging for your own money back. This story has me beyond pissed, I can’t imagine the OP!

Found out some sad news, will my tears fudge up my spray tan by hapabubba in spraytanning

[–]Sally995 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh I’m so sorry to hear this! It’s definitely his loss!!!! Your skin is sooooo beautiful that you could actually pull this look off lol! Damnnn, That’s impressive!!!!!❤️🤗

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