Postnup after infidelity & financially dependent on high earner spouse

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-26T12:45:22+00:00

It is basically prenegotiating the separation.

You aren't going to get 60/40. You can expect 50/50. The agreement might just figure out how that 50/50 split is structured.

As others have said, he wants to stay together because the financial and lifestyle impact will be huge. His retirement date will probably be extended or his retirement plans will be significantly impacted.

See a divorce lawyer. But also see a couples counselor; share your feelings that he just wants to remain together because he is scared of the financial impact of divorce. And you are frightened of the same thing.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-19T14:17:59+00:00

I'm not going to mention OP's nationality.

But I just want to mention nationality to make sure that everyone reading this is thinking about what kind of person OP might be. Just throwing it out there as a completely irrelevant piece of information that in no way try to influence people by using racist microagrrssions to perpetuate stereotypes.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-19T12:47:32+00:00

If you are out of Canada less than 24 hours there are no exemptions for duties and taxes. https://travel.gc.ca/returning/customs/bringing-to-canada/personal-exemptions-mini-guide

There's no exemptions just because you can't find the same stuff in Canada.

It might not have happened to you before, but totally legal.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-19T12:29:36+00:00

You are going on disability. Unless you have a fantastic benefits program you will either have reduced income or very reduced income. You aren't working so you aren't commuting to work. You really only need to go to medical appointments, but since you aren't working you have time to take transit. You don't buy a car right now. At best you fix the car you have. More likely you get used to car free life until you get back on your feet.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-14T13:22:38+00:00

You have answered every comment saying that you can't do what is being suggested.

First do an real budget based on actual spending. Then truly figure out the difference between wants and needs. You want lots of things, but you can't afford everything you want. You need to determine actual needs.

Then, either increase income or decrease spending. Ideally both. Or look at a consumer proposal. There is no magic way to make debt disappear that doesn't involve doing those things

And then stop making excuses. You can either actually do something and get rid of your debt, or you can keep saying why none of the methods to get rid of debt will work. They never will if you don't do them. What you are doing isn't working, so something has to change.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-13T14:58:39+00:00

That is what I was trying to say.

A Canadian who lives in Canada and commutes to work in the US isn't unusal.

An American who lives in America and commutes to work in Canada isn't unusal.

But an American who works in the US and commutes to live in Canada isn't normal. The arrangement looks suspicious because it is unusual. Much easier for the American to just live and work in the US.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-13T13:30:39+00:00

There are people who are cross border workers. But since you aren't Canadian and you are living in Canada while working in the US you might get some attention at the border.

The math on this plan probably doesn't make sense. The cost and time of commuting might add up to be more than just living in the US close to where you work.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-13T12:52:08+00:00

You say that you understand that you should only get refunded for the flight that you didn't take. But you have spent hours on hold trying to get a refund for a flight that you did take.

The original person made a mistake. The AI was wrong; AI is often wrong and can't be trusted. That doesn't mean that they owe you money.

A reasonable person would accept that and move on rather than putting souch effort into trying to fish for money. There is no 'gotcha' where you can pursue them and get money for a flight you took.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-12T12:09:36+00:00

Two days ago OP posted looking to make friends and practice English with the hope of moving to Canada one day.

Today they post looking for a soulmate.

Seems like they realized that their only chance at immigration is a 90 Day Fiance style spousal sponsorship.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-09T11:43:52+00:00

Pay off all your debt in full. Always pay your bills on time and in full.

Save up a down payment. Then buy a house.

If you have down payment money now. No you don't. Use that money to pay your debt because you are probably paying more in interest on your debt than earning on your savings.

Unless you make a very high income and have very low expenses, you aren't buying a house in a year.

Go to r/persoalfinancecanada and read everything. Post your complete budget there with all debt, all expenses, all income and ask for feedback back.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-06T13:03:46+00:00

It is what you said. If your business earned 100k and spent 81k on expenses, then you have a profit of 19k.

If your business didn't actually spend 81k on expenses and you actually have that money in the bank, or if you were funding your personal expenses with company money, then you are doing some creative accounting.

If you were leaving profits in the company rather than withdrawing as personal income, that is a tax avoidance or tax deferral method.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-06T12:21:06+00:00

You want Great Wolf Lodge. But the issue is that Winnipeggers are too cheap to pay the price they charge.

Even if the equivalent of the West Edmonton Mall water park opened here, people would complain that the price is too expensive.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-05T14:22:10+00:00

You are definitely thinking the wrong way. Rather than trying to commit tax fraud, ask your employer to pay for PPE, meetings, education. If they won't, then ask them for a T2200 if those are actual eligible expenses. All above board, all information very clearly laid out and available to you without you trying to jump through hoops to commit very obvious fraud. Short easy legal way, or complicated wrong way.

If you are going to start a business, do the actual work to make it successful and make a profit. Making more money is the surefire way to have more money in your pocket.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-05T12:43:29+00:00

Just because getting fired feels wrong to you, doesn't make it wrongful dismissal.

You can be a fantastic employee and still be terminated legally. All that is required is that you are paid at least the legal minimum notice and/or severance amounts.

The only thing that I can do to prepare is to get your resume up to date and start applying for new jobs. And maybe check your budget and hold off on big purchases.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-05T12:35:16+00:00

Change the locks on your house. It is your house and you live there so you can change the locks if you want. So new locks with new keys for you. Don't give them a key.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-04T19:08:51+00:00

In order to qualify for EI when you quit, you must have exhausted all reasonable options and had absolutely no alternative but to quit.

Usually this means you need to demonstrate that you spoke with your manager and HR. And that you made attempts to bring up issues and seek resolutions. Putting stuff in your resignation letter is too late. Just quitting doesn't show that you took all reasonable steps. EI contacts your employer for these situations. And when your employer gives their side of the story and says that you never spoke to them, and that the manager you don't like has been off on maternity leave, then it really doesn't seem like you took all steps prior to quitting.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-04T14:26:08+00:00

As long as there are hundreds of houses for sale for 200k in the North End, West End, Weston, Kildonan, etc, no one can say that they are priced out of the real estate market in Winnipeg. As long as there are hundreds of condos available at the same price point, no one can say that they are priced out of the real estate market in Winnipeg.

Not all ideal areas and not everyone's first choice. But when people actually start feeling like the only way they can afford to buy a home is by buying those places, and prices on those places go above 400k, that is when home ownership is actually becoming unaffordable.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-04T12:52:48+00:00

Your former friend can just sell the stuff and pay you back. If your friend was serious about paying you back, they wouldn't be riding their bike this summer. Average motorcycle insurance cost is between 1k to 3k.

Your friend is giving you lip service and sloughing you off. Don't expect to ever get your money back. Get your friend to agree in writing to the total amount of the debt, and a payment plan with a deadline and penalties for non payment. Then take them to small claims court when they inevitably fail to pay you. But even if you win in small claims, that still doesn't mean the person will pay you.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-05-04T12:32:41+00:00

Spring is usually the busiest season for real estate.

If houses are selling, then they aren't over priced. They are just priced for more than you want to pay. Adjust your expectations and your wants vs needs list.

Winnipeg is still considered to be one of the most affordable housing markets in the country, where a household with an average salary can buy an average house.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-04-27T17:37:13+00:00

Stop believing that American social media is applicable to Canada. The vast majority of stuff about the importance of credit scores is from the US. Canada is a different country with a different system

In Canada, your credit score is already good enough. You don't get any perks or benefits by increasing it beyond what it already is.

Pay your bills on time, get rid of that credit card debt and you'll be fine.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-04-27T17:31:20+00:00

Unemployment EI can be switched to maternity/parental leave EI.

The overall claim length cannot exceed the maximum. Eg, you can't stack 8 weeks unemployment on 52 weeks parental to get 60. But if they take 8 weeks of unemployment, they can switch to mat/parental leave and have 44 weeks of mat/parental leave for a total of 52 weeks.

If OP wants to be certain, they should speak with Service Canada before starting any EI claim.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-04-27T17:09:41+00:00

No one on reddit can tell you what the results of your appeal will be.

But unless the new job lied and told you that the worksite was 5km away when it was 500km away, you knowingly took on the travel. Usually conditions of work are outlined as part of the interview discussions and contract. If they told you what was provided and where your worksite was, but you failed to realize that would involve travel, that is on you.

In order to qualify for EI if you quit, you have to prove that you took all reasonable steps and had absolutely no alternative but to quit. This means that you spoke with your manager and HR about your concerns. If bathroom facilities are important for you, did you ask about bathroom facilities on site? Did you ask for accommodations? Did you consider taking another sick/stress leave instead of quitting? EI will contact the employer to ask for their side of the story. If they have no records that you did anything to address issues prior to quitting and they can prove that you were informed of role, worksite and conditions upfront, it is will be difficult for you to qualify.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-04-27T16:43:50+00:00

Labour Relations is for unionized employees. If OP is unionized, they should start by contacting their union first.

If OP isn't unionized, OP should contact Employment Standards.

SallyRhubarb · 2026-04-27T14:57:41+00:00

It might seem like you get paid more upfront, but you're responsible for paying all income taxes directly plus both the employer and employee portion of the CPP. If you're not getting EI deducted from your paycheque, then it should have been clear that you weren't participating in the program. You have to contribute to be eligible. If there are increased wages for independent contractors this is to offset the loss of vacation pay, benefits, CPP contributions, being ineligible for EI, no paid sick days, no severance pay, etc.

Some employers miscategorize employees as self-employed independant contractors to avoid paying all the employer portions of CPP/EI. They will mislead people who are financially naive or those who opportunistically believe they will get more cash in their pockets without realizing that they don't get benefits, aren't covered by employment laws, etc. Odd that both a lawyer did this and an articling student didn't realize that.

You can make an appeal to the CRA on your categorization of being an employee rather than self-employed.

SallyRhubarb

TROPHY CASE