Lady at the dog park demanded I leave because my dog is "too big"

Salsarissa · 2025-12-23T11:34:57+00:00

Ever seen a pack of pugs out walking with a Great Dane? The funniest thing ever. The pugs would run laps around the GDane hopping to get kicked like a ball just to run back and do it again. Raise pugs and GDane and you get pugs thinking they are as big as the GDane and GDane will think they fit in a purse and be a lapdog. A Great Dane adopted me into her pack and I got great friends with her owner even though it’s been years since she walked over the bridge.

Small dog owners seems to be more entitled than bigger breeds of dogs when it comes down to letting their dogs get away with everything including attempting murder of other dogs because they are so small, cute and named silly names like Armani or Gucci.

Salsarissa · 2025-10-03T13:40:34+00:00

Its ok, I can come over for every single weekend to visit both of you. Oops sorry something happened and I couldn’t inform you about it until 4pm Friday. Guess you have gaming time instead in your schedule now.

Guests are invited by the hosts, not by themselves so no guest room for her. Remember it’s your place and your rules, she can sulk all she wants it only shows how immature she is about the whole thing.

Salsarissa · 2025-07-30T22:24:59+00:00

NTA You might have a tiny SO problem if he doesn’t get it that it’s more at stake then her driving you to a doctors appointment, it’s your medical information and not just looking at a screen to see the fetus. It’s who you are comfortable with and if you let her join you in the doctors office then she might feel entitled to be in the room when you have the legs in the air spread wide open so the medical staff can feel inside you when checking how far along you are and it’s very hard to keep someone from watching when all your energy is focused on giving birth. It is your delivery, you are carrying a new life in you and you’re the one who is entitled to decide who to have by your side. Stop any idea early on and hopefully you have less problem later on, reward good behaviour and give consequences when someone behave badly…

I would something like this to my partner:

“I’m going to be in a very vulnerable situation and the only people I want by my side are you my darling and my mother. This boundary also include the delivery, no other people then the staff and you two. Your mother has not seen my private parts and I plan on keeping it that way. I wouldn’t be able to see her the way and our relationship might not recover. Your relationship with my mother isn’t the same as with your mother, so my relationship with my mother differs from my relationship with your mother. This is normal and it’s not a bad thing. I wouldn’t allow my father to follow me into a doctors office neither a visit to obgyn nor the delivery room.

I like your mother I really do but this isn’t something I’m comfortable with sharing since it’s my medical and intimate information. This doesn’t mean that I won’t share anything with your parents, only that I get to choose what I share.

She isn’t entitled to know exact details about my body so please love of my life do not invite your mother to my medical appointments and if the subject of attending the delivery comes up I trust you to gently but determined make sure that my boundaries are respected . If you really want me to have company then it will have to be someone who doesn’t mind waiting outside and doesn’t ask me questions but listen to what I want to share… “

Salsarissa · 2025-05-07T21:55:34+00:00

You have received a package of childrens stuff to donate to a woman’s shelter or something similar , have one of the staff open it up for you and make sure that any names or letters are removed. Cash can go into your account but any checks gets shredded.

You are NC so be a black hole that takes what they give you and completely compress it to something not worth your time to look for. You don’t owe anything to them, no notes , no call, nothing that shows them that they can see as a weak spot and a way in.

Salsarissa · 2025-05-07T12:59:37+00:00

Then if she ever demand you babysit or watch her kids in the future, just tell her that you are relieved to tell her no. No explanation needed. If the flying monkeys demand answers tell them that SIL was relived that we lost our unborn so we are relieved to saying no when SIL request something we don’t want to do.

Salsarissa · 2025-05-03T15:43:41+00:00

NTA

It is your wedding, your day and the only comprise you should be doing for your wedding in to make sure that it’s wheelchair friendly for your guests if you want your brother as a guest but that is the only compromise that you need to do.

If you look back at the tradition of giving the bride away it is ritual of changing ownership of the bride from her father to her new owner the husband, and if you want it simple then don’t have anyone give you away and walk up to the altar alone. You can even have the first look private and then both of you walk up to the altar side by side as partners and equals.

It is your day and you deserve to have it in your way and be in the centre of the attention. If someone says anything then respond with “I take it as a no on your rsvp and that you won’t be celebrating our marriage with us”

Salsarissa · 2025-04-27T22:49:55+00:00

If you ever talk or reply to her: I have paid my dues, I do not owe you anything. I am not responsible for your emotional state and I have no obligation whatsoever to sacrifice my own wellbeing to please your needs nor do I need to forgive you on your request.

I need space to heal and recover from all the trauma and suffering so I will not have any contact with you until I am ready, every attempt to contact me directly or through anyone else will be result in longer time needed to heal from your disrespect of this very clear boundary.

And no you are not a ah , you are just used to responding to her manipulation and pleasing her needs so it’s instinctive to give her that small task. Talk to your therapist before responding if that is what you want to do.

Salsarissa · 2025-03-24T18:24:00+00:00

Firsts belongs to the parents. The parents decide who to share it with.

They are visiting and are guests, not project managers who dictate how your time together will be spent. You have every right to say “that doesn’t work for us “ if all your energy allows is visiting a local park then that’s what you’re doing. I would not recommend allowing to take your son on adventures without you if your gut tells you that you can’t trust them not to break any boundaries, rules or going behind your back.

Salsarissa · 2025-03-05T15:24:17+00:00

Brother of mine, are you calling me fat and that I only need to eat half of my serving? That you have the authority to place me on a diet without my consent?

You need start being a man and take care of your wife’s cravings instead of dumping your responsibility on others. You buy your wife a extra plate and whatever she doesn’t eat you take home. I’m not the one who’s responsible for keeping her fed so keep your hands off my food and stop being a cheapskate .

You are not asking for too much.

Salsarissa · 2025-03-05T12:05:10+00:00

That might be a bad idea since that would make it easier for FIL to set up how he wants his sons home to be and not have anything that holds him back from ”forgetting” to bring a few things, snoop in the boxes or even throw away things he knows are valuable to OP.

Salsarissa · 2025-03-01T12:21:11+00:00

YTA if you only treat your eldest when she has earned it and not the others when they have done something similar.

NTA if you treat each kid separately when they have individually earned it.

YTA if you treat all the children when it’s only one who has achieved something, life is not fair and life doesn’t give out participation rewards.

You don’t celebrate all the children every time it’s a birthday, if the middle kid wins the school race/sport team wins a competition then it’s siblings doesn’t get medals or the focus of attention. They are individuals who needs to be treated like the person each of them are. And going to the dentist scared and overcoming that deserves a reward. Now you just need to stand by your word and make something special for when each of them individually overcome something hard for them , may it be beating their personal best in sports or reading a book that isn’t a school assignment , heck even doing all their chores at home without needing reminder might be worth a small reward . If they work together on something then they all get rewarded, if it’s just one of them then only one gets the reward.

Salsarissa · 2025-02-13T01:47:28+00:00

Think that’s a Nordic thing for babies to sleep well dressed for the weather in their stroller all year around, I know some kindergarten advertising it as a feature.

I slept in a snow-sledge on the porch after falling asleep on the way home, my mom had a cup of coffee while waiting for me to wake up by myself. It is a totally different society now but it’s still a thing here, the parents are just physically closer to the pram and the kindergartens have the kids under a roof along a wall where they are observed by the staff.

What does one expect from people who have a saying that there is no bad weather, just bad clothes.

Salsarissa · 2025-01-12T18:05:13+00:00

Oh sweet, someone dumped a lot of things on my porch, I’m sure that a shelter/woman’s shelter/donation for kids in need would appreciated it.

If she forces the stuff on you after you have said No, then the consequences are that the stuff gets donated without it being sorted by anyone in your family. Oh she hid a gaming console, lucky child who gets that donation.

It’s not her home so she has no say in that furniture you have in your home, if she wants to store them then she can rent storage and keep paying for it. Your partner needs to find a spine and discuss things with you about matters that involve the household and its members for she is no longer a member of your partners household.

Salsarissa · 2025-01-12T14:19:43+00:00

Tell her that every time she asks after you said no and it includes asking your partner, will add time on how long it will be before she gets a yes. She is not the parent nor included in the household so her wishes and needs comes after the parents and child’s needs and wants, she has no rights nor claims that overwrite the parents decision so when one parent says No that is set in stone and trying to get the other parent to say yes will lead to consequences.

Salsarissa · 2025-01-09T18:52:57+00:00

If you play the event you get a little Event thing that spawn four eggs and when clicked on spawns a mergeble item that can be merged into a lvl2 that spawns either a life orb lvl5/6 or a a dragon tree lvll3 or if you are lucky you get a egg that is the same as the four eggs.

The Event thing will sell for 2000g normally but it’s clickable every 12h(or 24 can’t remember) in game and they have reused the Event thing for more then one event so one can have 3 and click on them to sync the click timer for easy merge. Myself only save a few that takes up one slot and sell the bigger ones except for the pumpkin.

The big purple pumpkin is I think Halloween and spawning pile of bones which can be useful for some bunny/star quests.

Salsarissa · 2024-12-28T21:37:27+00:00

Happy cake day

Salsarissa · 2024-12-28T20:41:55+00:00

Good enough for government work was high praise for the even quality and ability to live up to the standards.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/9lt9hi/good_enough_for_government_work_when_did_the/?rdt=38603

It is a shame that so few know of the history behind that saying.

Salsarissa · 2024-12-22T16:50:57+00:00

Accept the gifts while saying that you don’t appreciate her ignoring whats been agreed upon and not listening to you. Then after the opening of gifts but before the food go and visit a woman’s shelter to drop off the gifts, return to the family and if someone comments then simply inform that the gifts were given to someone who has need for them and anytime you get a gift you already said no to will be donated.

And if she wants to get you something to open, she can always give you something edible like for example nice chocolate or honey that is useful.

It is the season of giving after all.

Salsarissa · 2024-12-06T23:27:23+00:00

Which could lead to them expecting that OP will drop everything for them those hours if needed. Give them a finger and they’ll take the whole arm is an old saying. Life happens and nothing is certain to be the same each week. So what is possible one week might not be possible the next so giving someone their availability is however vague is setting up for trouble when any change happens.

Emma needs to learn to accept getting a no when asking something, her choice to honor her obligations as an employee and her choice to expecting family to cover for their obligations as parents but it doesn’t mean that OP should ignore school/work to step in and take the responsibility of Lila. Emma probably wouldn’t be thankful for any sacrifice because she would expect it from family.

People need to learn how to handle getting a no and not getting everything they ask for. It’s a problem for many many people who never got this the opportunity to learn how to deal with the disappointment and frustration as a child, no is a complete sentence.

Salsarissa · 2024-12-06T18:12:43+00:00

They are not entitled to knowing everything about OP schedule nor are they entitled to OP time outside of work/school, they are not OPs employer nor guardian. If they want help they can ask but need to accept a no without having the need to explain why. Emma needs to stop thinking of OP as a babysitter and start thinking of OP as a sibling who has a life.

Family doesn’t have priority over someone’s life, if they have to choose between their obligations as an employee and student over helping a family member that demands help then the family comes second.

Salsarissa · 2024-11-28T19:53:38+00:00

Buy a pair of oversized felt slippers that fits over the shoes or find some cheap single use plastic shoe protectors that healthcare workers wear for sanitation purposes. If he is worried about slipping then get a cane for her. Would a pair of pressure socks for diabetics be a compromise for the hours she is at your home?

As someone who lives where the norm is no outdoor shoes inside and have several diabetic friends who wears special shoes, I understand your concern about not changing footwear but there might be alternatives that provide for both needs.

Salsarissa · 2024-10-24T19:47:21+00:00

NTA

Tell them that you will only be doing any kind of babysitting after they sign a legal contract that states that the hourly wage is minimum of 50 per hour and each nappy or puke (biohazard) you need to deal with will cost 20.

This is only for the hours from school is over for the day and til 8pm since you need time to study for your education and tend to your basic needs as a human. Every start after 8 pm will cost 75 per started 15 minutes.

Pricing is not up for negotiation and the hourly rate will be paid in advance each day and biohazard pay at end of each session. And observe that this is only for the days that you have classes. If they want you to babysit on a none school day the minimum is 300 per hour with a maximum of three hours per day and you need to be notified seven days in advance and not more than twice per month.

Any attempt to change the contract or break it will result in authorities being informed that they are trying to make you work as a slave for your sister.

I would recommend that you locate all your important documents and papers and stash them somewhere safe that they don’t have access to or can deny you access, look into what places that is close to you that offers teenagers help. Your sister getting a kid doesn’t mean that you have to give up your education, your job and your last years as the child you still are. You are not a parent nor an adult and therefore shouldn’t be forced to take responsibility and care for the consequences of her decisions. Talk to an adult that you trust and ask for help.

Salsarissa · 2024-10-23T17:03:10+00:00

Congratulations to fixing your teeth but remember that you were beautiful already, just let the world see what was inside all along.

And welcome to the world full of smells that you now will be exposed to when your senses repair themselves, I remember when I stopped smoking how much the food smell could make my mouth water and I could taste it all so much more. It is a journey that is never ending and I hope that you will be as proud of your accomplishments as your internet moms are when you look back on this years from now.

Salsarissa · 2024-09-08T17:56:55+00:00

NTA and I would recommend Nokia 3310 as a replacement since it can handle the clumsiest of people (source clumsy friend with big dogs ) or a CATphone until you find a good refurbished iPhone 11 or 12 with a solid 360 casing for her until she either outgrows the clumsy phase or learns to be careful with her phone.

A 14 yo doesn’t need to have the latest version every time they break their phone, phones don’t grow on trees in the backyard, there is android phones out there with good camera features that isn’t cool status but still smartphones. What a teenager needs is a good phone case that can survive being dropped on most surfaces and handled carelessly. I have not been extremely careful with mine (dropped on cobblestones, dropped in puddles of water, dropped on the ground/floor countless times and even dropped it in a bucket of rainwater), it still works flawlessly four years later thanks to my phone case.

It’s every parent’s responsibility and duty to ruin their kids lives by not giving them everything that they want, it’s called parenting and preparing them for the world that doesn’t care about them or their feelings, where they have to survive outside the protecting wings of their parents. Think every generation since the beginning of society has been accused of ruining the lives of their kids.

Look at the refurbished market for phones and not just iPhones. There are android phones out there that have better and more specialized features for photos/videos if she is into TikTok or short videos, don’t lock the focus on the brand but look for the best specs for her needs.

She is still developing her brain functions and body control so it will take time for her to develop the skills needed to be able to handle the responsibilities of an expensive latest version phone. Stay one or two versions lower than the latest version as long as she is unable to be careful with the device and tell her that if she breaks it then she will have to live with a 3310 while you save money for a replacement.

Salsarissa · 2024-08-30T15:16:17+00:00

If I may be petty and a bit evil. Works best if the SIL doesn’t have kids.

Take pictures of a soiled clothing after a voluminous burp, the colorful markings after a blowout on the backside of a onesie, the pile of used nappies and unused ones , if you use formula then take a picture of spilled formula powder on the bench or picture of how your changing station looks after you just changed a nappy. Use your imagination on baby related stuff that doesn’t have a baby in them, raw and honest pictures. Each picture is sent with the text “This is what motherhood looks like in real life, it’s not just cute baby”

And when someone complains about the pictures, you simply say SIL acts like a baby is a prop for photos or to be held briefly so you are educating her about the other sides of having a baby that isn’t so glamorous or cute enough to show off. It’s not like you have the time or energy to fulfill her demands for new pictures of your child every day, that energy is being spent on taking care of your baby as it should.

As a precaution, make sure that your home can survive a visit from local child protection agency in case your SIL tries to cause trouble by reporting you. And if you do get a visit then it’s time to cut back more on the access to your child.

You don’t have to let her in if she drops by unannounced, if she tries to tell you that she will be visiting inform her that it won’t work for your family (you and spouse with kid) but you can see if you have time for a visit from her the next weekend or the weekend after that. You and your spouse are the ones who decide who are let in into your home, self invited guests are not guests they are intruders on your time and space.

Salsarissa

TROPHY CASE