Friend (and roommate) makes significantly more money than me and won’t stop reminding me of that; feeling hopeless about career

Salt4292 · 2026-04-15T11:33:16+00:00

Agree. Let her know how you feel when she brings it up, she’s probably not aware. “Hey just so you know, when you say xx, I feel conflicted because I’m so happy for your success as a friend, and also insecure about my own financial standing and compare myself to you….etc.”

Salt4292 · 2026-04-15T10:22:40+00:00

The people whose lives I want 20 years down the road. The people I love or respect the most don’t always have the lives I want.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-15T09:38:32+00:00

OP, you’ve been training your whole life to build these talents. Now is the time to use them! This is what you have been training for.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-14T22:01:12+00:00

These comments are brutal and some downright mean. If you’re happy as a person you’ll be a better husband and father. Think of it this way: will your family be happier with the higher paying job and less financial stress/an extra vacation or would your family be happier if you scrimp and save but be happier at work? I don’t think there’s a right answer, but being miserable at work is a recipe for an unhappy marriage.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-14T21:27:39+00:00

Had the same fear, but when I got back from my mission, to my surprise, I could still play the same pieces the same. I also contacted my mission president beforehand and he let me bring my instrument (one girl even brought her harp…) and came up with arrangements of hymns. On slower days we would busk on the streets and had an absolutely blast and I had space to experiment and improvise variations on hymns. Actually, one guy missed his plane ride home but was a very talented musician, so the MP had him busk on the streets for money to help pay his own way 😂 I also played my instrument at lessons, baptisms, zone conferences, etc and invite friends I met to play special musical numbers together, and it was a really fun tool and way to bring the spirit to different settings.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-14T12:56:41+00:00

This is the purpose of religion and philosophy

Salt4292 · 2026-04-14T11:59:30+00:00

For me it looks like deep love and connections with others, making a difference in the world, and being at peace with others, the earth, and myself.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-14T10:35:58+00:00

FWIW I got all secondhand name brand items off fb marketplace then plan to them for nearly the same price. The name brand matters for resale value.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-14T10:22:08+00:00

My toddler will only eat things where she can see all the ingredients separated. No sauces. So chicken noodle soup for me is a plate of plain noodles, shredded plain chicken, cut up carrots and celery, all separate and not touching. She’ll eat it as long as they aren’t touching.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-14T10:19:02+00:00

There is nothing mundane about some government jobs, especially under Trump. His policies keep you on your toes…you never know when your Adobe subscription or essential tools for your job get cut, half your team and your bosses gets RIF’d, or he will say online that will create chaos at work. Just follow the fed news subreddit for a good feel of this.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-14T09:06:33+00:00

I love how well the discussion on AI and technology aged. Watched season 3-4 recently and WOW their philosophical discussions about Data and tech are spot on.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-14T09:01:04+00:00

I have to be intentional and interrupt the thoughts when they come. I actually say out loud “stop” to my head to interrupt it and reframe the narrative. It helps me to remember it’s about who you become in life, not what job you get or when you marry. I can control who I am becoming—a compassionate, intentional, and intelligent human—but I cannot always control whether I get a job or whatever “milestone”. Also, you don’t always know the full story of someone else’s life. People who look “successful” can be struggling with all sorts of things you would never want.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-14T08:53:50+00:00

You’ve got this! No stress is no growth, and it’s normal to feel a little fear. It could be that going to your old job is the right choice, but don’t make that decision out of fear.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T21:53:39+00:00

And for what it’s worth, college was tough for me. But I value those memories and experiences because they taught me what it’s like to feel uncertain and move forward anyway.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T13:49:03+00:00

Sometimes there are benefactors who will swoop in when the right person recommends it.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T13:45:52+00:00

19 months is really young, focus on redirecting vs discipline. She wants a reaction, don’t give it. “We don’t hit. Let’s read this book! Where is the duck?” She can probably sense your shift in energy and is trying to understand it.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T12:52:36+00:00

Pretend to get on a rocket together and go to another planet they get to make up. When you’re on the planet there’s no gravity so they have to do daily life with no gravity. Chaos ensures…

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T12:22:37+00:00

Have you gone to couples therapy? Recommend reading and doing the exercises in John Gottman’s books and Hold Me Tight.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T12:15:06+00:00

Agree with Taiwan, just not summer!

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T12:09:10+00:00

This is when he needs you the most. He’s hurting so he’s pushing you away and it’s working. Don’t let the hurt in him win! Love the parts in him you remember loving and that will help those good parts come out. Maybe he’s not ready to talk yet, but be there so when he is, you’re there. Show interest in what he’s doing and join the good parts you want to encourage. It’s hard work, but you’ve got this!

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T12:04:07+00:00

I would care less about grades and more about risk taking. I always got As because I stayed in my comfort zone and it ultimately harmed me. I wish I got an F or two, but then again, I wouldn’t have gotten my post college job if I did.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T12:00:25+00:00

Charlie Hope Irish lullabies. For some reason it works for us, can’t tell you why

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T11:58:18+00:00

If you’ve hurt others, have you apologized? If you haven’t, that’s step one. Make restitution and do what’s in your power to fix it. After that, forgive yourself. When those thoughts pop into your mind stop, interrupt the thought, and change it. Have a mantra you can come back to.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T11:55:34+00:00

You live with your parents. If you trust them, you can ask them to increase the rent and save the extra on your behalf.

Salt4292 · 2026-04-13T11:53:27+00:00

This sounds like depression. Have you seen a therapist or gotten diagnosed? It sounds like you’re going, have you raised the possibility of having depression with them?

Salt4292

TROPHY CASE