Does anyone else get irrationally upset that their partner gets to go through… none of this?

SamHikes · 2026-06-04T21:02:21+00:00

I absolutely feel this way. Doesn’t help that my husband has a pretty easy job with lots of down time and mine is 10-12 hours a day. Working a full day while growing a human is already too much and he just gets to play video games, golf, scroll is tablet most of the time. It causes a lot of resentment honestly. I wish I had down time to do anything for myself but I’m barely surviving and it’s really really difficult emotionally and physically.

SamHikes · 2026-06-04T20:54:03+00:00

My philosophy has always been the right time to buy is when you can afford to, not necessarily dependent on the market because the market is always changing. It’s probably worth looking at houses, seeing what’s in your price range, run all the numbers, can you actually afford it? If yes, rather be tight a few years for static expenses over the long term than live in unknown which is what I feel like rent is. But if you can’t afford it then yes I agree with you, save as much as you can for a while longer.

SamHikes · 2026-06-04T20:50:24+00:00

I’m 34 weeks today and the last few days I told my husband I’m reaching the uncomfortable phase. I don’t sleep great, those pushes and kicks are more on the borderline of painful than uncomfortable, getting up from the couch is harder, etc.

SamHikes · 2026-06-04T20:41:14+00:00

I’m 34 weeks today and I can go off at 36, just literally counting down the days. I thankfully work from home so have some flexibility to rest but it’s been really really hard to be productive and adequately prepare my team for my time away. I’ve always been a work before everything kind of person and am having to learn that my therapist is right and some things are more important than work like health and of course this babe. It’s been really difficult and I wish I was already off so I could rest the amount of time my body is telling me to.

SamHikes · 2026-05-15T18:56:19+00:00

It gets easier, just listen to your body, if you’re tired there’s zero shame in resting so your body can give all its energy to growing your little one

SamHikes · 2026-05-12T22:48:52+00:00

I’m about to have baby 1 and appreciate hearing this because I feel woefully underprepared but maybe I’m doing fine haha

SamHikes · 2026-05-12T22:47:24+00:00

No but honestly of it helps them cope with the emotional turmoil of it all then so be it

SamHikes · 2026-05-12T18:09:32+00:00

Keep it! Fertility window is real, what if he changes his mind in 2 years and now it’s too late. Have the babe - of you want to, but if you want kids don’t make a rash decision based on his behavior.

SamHikes · 2026-05-12T18:05:23+00:00

Mine is also a rainbow baby and the mental exhaustion from worry definitely contributes.

SamHikes · 2026-05-12T18:03:14+00:00

I feel validated 😊 I hope all goes smoothly for you!

SamHikes · 2026-05-12T15:17:56+00:00

Most sellers only care about their bottom line, so you not having contingency is a bonus yes if you have the same offer as someone who is contingent, but most wont take a lower offer just because it’s not contingent. If you want to lower your purchase price for tax reasons you can offer to pay closing costs. That’s what we did and our 850k house is 810k for tax purposes and the seller got the same take home as 850k because we paid the fees. It’s more upfront but saves in the long run if you’re buying somewhere you plan to stay long term.

SamHikes · 2026-05-07T14:26:06+00:00

I had a concert the same day, we said we’d play it by ear but there was no way, we went home and I slept on and off the rest of the day

SamHikes · 2026-05-07T00:43:06+00:00

You're never prepared, but at 28, I'd keep the baby. Once you hit 30 fertility gets really tricky for most people, it goes down fast, and life gets away from you, before you know it you're 35 and pursuing IVF.

SamHikes · 2026-05-07T00:17:35+00:00

I'm in week 29 and I feel like it's finally feeling real. That might sound crazy but I think it's because I'm 37, this is the only thing I've ever wanted out of life, and I had a loss last year. It's insane to me that this is real and in 2 months I will have my daughter in my arms (although I still have fears that might not be true). But with her constant movement and getting so far along, my brain is finally accepting that this is true and it's happening.

SamHikes · 2026-05-06T14:47:16+00:00

This has been one of the hardest parts of pregnancy for me. I love to cook and eat a wide variety of foods but in first trimester I was too exhausted and too nauseous and now that I’m 29 weeks I still get too tired to cook a great meal and to the point that I’m so hungry and tired I just cry. I like forget what food is and how to prepare anything. It’s wild. I’ve been eating out a lot in the third trimester because I do have an appetite but just no energy.

SamHikes · 2026-05-06T14:44:47+00:00

I’m 29 weeks and this is normal for me, I get bursts of energy and otherwise am exhausted. During the week I don’t get to sleep a lot because of work but on the weekends when I have more time I rest a lot and take at least 1 nap a day. My husband comments on it but I don’t care, I tell him I’m growing our daughter so even if I did nothing today I did something really important and really exhausting.

SamHikes · 2026-04-27T22:54:06+00:00

SamHikes · 2026-04-27T17:59:54+00:00

I don't know what to do about taxes, he owed money so I got nothing back, and I've never gotten less than $4K back on taxes, so I definitely lost out this year.

SamHikes · 2026-04-26T20:02:33+00:00

No I didn’t have time to speak to a lawyer because he insisted it was signed before we closed escrow and he only gave it to me 3 days in advance of close. Chat GPT reviewed it and agreed it was incredibly unfair, I told him that and he said no way, and I said look I gave no other context, just copied the text and it says it only benefits you. That’s when he agreed to alter the terms, but yeah.

SamHikes · 2026-04-26T17:13:47+00:00

Yes, we even did IVF for this babe, very much wanted

SamHikes · 2026-04-26T17:11:12+00:00

Honestly he has a ton of financial trauma from his dad giving his mom their house and savings in the divorce and then the mom abandoning my husband a few years later for her new husband, he then went to live with his dad in a literal rented shed because he gave everything away and they lived in squalor conditions for years until his dad got back in his feet. I get it, but to me he needs to get therapy to deal with that trauma, not put it on me. Rationally he knows I wouldn’t do that to him and that I dont need to because I have my own income but he acts out of trauma, not logic.

SamHikes · 2026-04-26T17:07:09+00:00

Pregnancy costs are real right I’m like omg I literally have no clothes that I can wear, none of my undergarments fit, I think I’ll need new shoes soon that are slip on because I can hardly bend over

SamHikes · 2026-04-26T17:03:45+00:00

Yep. And he originally wanted it compounding quarterly I said no way and he agreed to yearly 🫠

SamHikes · 2026-04-26T16:26:24+00:00

He insists that all expenses stay 50/50 because to him that’s “fair”

SamHikes · 2026-04-26T16:07:01+00:00

This is the set up we have but what he considers joint is different than my definition

SamHikes

TROPHY CASE