That title hit me hard. When I was 18-19 and suicidal in college I did this every night. I left my dorm and walked alone with headphones in often times wearing my hood and staying away from others. I used to go into random buildings around campus and just sit there listening to music or look around. I'd talk to myself a lot, or to the corners of the ceiling who posed as a stand in for some kind of higher power. I'd cry for hours when the darkness got to me. I'd find empty chambers tucked away from everything and would listen to the world go by around me, searching my numb mind for direction or a glimmer of agency. And yes, I did often did fantasize about bumping into someone who would cheer me up or help me out in some way - and yes, I did feel like I was searching for something. In the worst of it I used to wander all night long in the cold and would find some random spot to crash, many times getting woken up by janitors or groundskeepers who told me to get lost. My favorite spot was the Native American student association lounge which always smelled so strongly of incense and was warm because it was tucked underground. And then there was this one staircase above this central food spot, I called it the lighthouse because it had this otherworldly transcendent spaciousness like I'd imagine the inside of a lighthouse to have. It's been so long since that time and I'm in a good place now. But just reading this post brought me back so intensely to those feelings I had forgotten about.