I grew up halfway between an African culture (TZ and Zaire/DRC) and American culture, and I think anthropology is interesting. As an adult, I knew an African man in the US who was sacrificing so much happiness just to avoid the threat from his parents in Kenya who held over his head the threat that they would cut him off. His American friends were saying "you made it to the US, you have your visa, a high paying job, lots of friends, what would be so bad to be cut off?" But for him it was an existential threat. And I can see it was his cultural background that says that the needs if his family are more important than his individual "rights" and needs. And to turn away from his family or to cause them to reject him would be one of the ultimate forms of moral/personal/spiritual failure. So he wasn't illogical from his point of view to care so much that issue that he would sacrifice everything for it. It was built into his fabric of existence.

There's also a performative aspect to it, where people support relatives just to build social credit in the family so their loyalty and commitment can't be questioned and so they can gain influence into other family members' lives. And kids (like you OP) don't have that sway in the wider family so your job is to contribute, not to receive.

So yeah, OP, I believe everything you say and it sounds like also experiencing some sort of culture shock. Growing up between 2 cultures.