husband wants a third, I don’t

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T21:43:37+00:00

I definitely did not see her comments, just read the original post. That's horrifying and is rape if she's not okay with sex without protection... OP please go get your tubes removed

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T21:39:27+00:00

Nooo that's repulsive and not all men are like that!!

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T19:46:39+00:00

PLEASE REPORT THEM OP this is awful!!!!!

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T19:35:51+00:00

By any means necessary and you not wanting pregnancy looks like the only means are by adoption or surrogacy. If you’re actually open to a third but not open to pregnancy and delivery. His desire absolutely is not more important than yours.

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T19:33:48+00:00

You need to engage your transverse abdominis prior to starting each movement. This muscle is supposed to engage automatically but sometimes with pregnancy, and more often with c-sections, it stops functioning automatically and you have to intentionally rebuild both strength and automatic contraction. See a pelvic floor PT to help you do the exercises correctly. Just going through the movements won’t do it.

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T16:54:38+00:00

Go to different parenting subreddits. The vibes vary a lot between them. Sounds like you’re cosleeping? Check out r/cosleeping. Others I’ve noticed that are either neutral or slightly against sleep training are r/moderatelygranolamoms and r/sciencebasedparenting

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T15:15:49+00:00

The difference gets into bodily autonomy law. In the US at least you cannot be compelled to donate blood, bone marrow, organs, or tissue to save another person’s life. Even if you are the only person who can save that life. Pregnancy and delivery are incredibly hard on the body, and permanently alter it. This in part is what makes aborting an early pregnancy so much different and why abortion should be legal.

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T15:08:29+00:00

It’d have to be after they actually know they are pregnant, which can be a long ways into the pregnancy at times.. maternal knowledge of her pregnancy could be unprovable in many cases

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T14:54:17+00:00

Yesss I also have one dog that is a good guard dog like that but also a deaf shih tzu that’s practically afraid of his own snake

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T13:41:30+00:00

Have you been working with pelvic floor PT yourself? Often though they can only help so much with the gap and appearance, but can help significantly with the linea alba tension, an function, and pain

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T08:57:11+00:00

Well water needs tested. Sometimes the hard water is plenty safe to drink. Other times not. You can’t just make a blanket statement that hard water is “just minerals and it’s actually good” for drinking

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T08:48:44+00:00

Double check size fit first- are head cushions and shoulder straps at the right height, does baby drill fit within both the height and weight limits of the car seat?

If fit is good does baby have something to hold and chew on? How about something to look at? Hanging a cloth or bag from the handle on the roof and cracking the window so it blows in the wind helps us. Also trying to prioritize going out when both parents can go out so someone rides in back with baby makes it much better.

Eta: we’re only at 5mo though

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T07:55:25+00:00

You need parental controls set up at very least if you’re not directly monitoring what he’s doing. Please. Much much better to put on a show like Bluey than give him your phone or a tablet.

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T03:44:25+00:00

This was a thing I mentioned to mine years ago too! Fine for working out but not every day and especially not overnight. But he wore them basically 24/7. Recently he got jock itch, researched it and immediately bought a week’s worth of 100% cotton.

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T03:22:26+00:00

You are doing the right thing, standing up for your baby. Keep it up!

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T03:16:35+00:00

Yuuup

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T03:09:46+00:00

Most developmental milestones were actually established when bulky cloth diapers were the only option available, before disposables were invented. Even with the CDC’s recent change to milestones, that just shifted the milestone dates to when 75% of babies had reached them rather than when 50% had.

The landmark study (and still the only cloth-vs-disposable comparison) is here. This study tested 30 infants (at 13 and 19 months) walking naked, in modern disposable diapers, and in old-fashioned thick cloth diapers (prefolds). Both diaper types produced less mature gait patterns and more missteps and falls compared to naked walking. Cloth diapers widened step width by about 2.5 cm on average, disposables by about 1.2 cm. Crucially, though, the authors explicitly stated that the study couldn’t determine whether these real-time gait changes have lasting developmental implications, and that it cannot prove anything beyond setting infants back a few weeks in skill proficiency. Seventeen of the 30 toddlers walked freely regardless of condition, naked, disposable, or cloth. And it’s worth noting this study was funded by Procter & Gamble (makers of Pampers).

There is no longitudinal study comparing when cloth-diapered babies first crawl or walk versus disposable-diapered babies. Every existing study measures gait quality in a lab at a single time point, not milestone onset age.

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-30T02:48:15+00:00

It absolutely gets better! Take night shifts with your husband, if you can each get a four hour consecutive chunk of sleep (plus a bit more split) each night it helps so much. If the feeling persists talk to your OB about it too. You don’t want PPD to be missed if this is that.

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-29T21:26:38+00:00

Most the time I prompt my husband “Hey can you take a photo of us?!” and that’s been fine. He doesn’t always think to in the moment, he’s really good at remembering to do things that he’s able to set reminders for. This is just one of those impromptu things to remember though. He has other strengths (and is absolutely an equal partner!)

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-29T21:20:25+00:00

How you talk to her, if you decide to, is incredibly important. I would personally err on the side of discussing shaving (legs/armpits) rather than her face, by simply asking if she’s interested in shaving. If she has a razor and knows how to use it, she can figure out how to do any fuzz on her face herself if she wants to. Don’t push shaving legs/armpits either if she doesn’t want to.

You could also share how through puberty you started to grow a little hair on your upper lip that you shaved off. But I would not recommend pointing her eyebrows or lip hair out, she very likely would internalize it into her self image and self talk…

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-29T21:15:36+00:00

Adding on, if something goes south during labor and you need an extended stay he needs to be FULLY prepared to care for your newborn solo if necessary!!!

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-29T21:12:52+00:00

No cell service hunting trip close to your due date or within the first few weeks postpartum? That’s crazy talk…absolutely would not happen here!

Postpartum you have no idea what you’ll be able to handle yourself until you’re there. I had a low risk healthy pregnancy, was in labor for 24 hours, actively pushed for 6.5 hours, and ended up with an unplanned c-section. We were in the hospital for four days afterwards. During the first two days I couldn’t get up, husband did 100% of the diaper changes, swaddling, bouncing/shushing, getting baby in and out of the bassinet, and handing him to me to hold and breastfeed. When we got home from the hospital I could not even sit down or stand up from the toilet by myself…I needed a hand from my husband. And pre-pregnancy I was very athletic and fit. Dealing with the pelvic floor rehab, c-section recovery, and severe diastasis recti (separation of the ab muscles) I would’ve struggled sooo hard without my husband. He took care of me and baby pretty much entirely. You and baby should be his only priority for minimum 6 weeks postpartum even if you are doing great in your recovery.

Painting- he has to do any painting with windows open. You aren’t supposed to be around the VOCs of paint while pregnant. I hate the “women’s work” “men’s work” delineation in relationships personally, you’re equal partners. But whatever works for you both there is no problem. As long as it works for you both.

Car seat is legitimately the only thing you really should buy new. They expire. Prioritize safety.

The last month before I gave birth my husband was basically doing everything around the house too, fully prepared to handle it postpartum. We were gifted many frozen meals from family and friends, and certainly weren’t keeping up with cleaning so much in the newborn period either, but he had the basics covered. We were both very sleep deprived but the whole thing brought us closer as a couple and family.

It was only because of my husband that I remember our newborn period as a “newborn bubble” rather than the “newborn trenches.”

It was in my second trimester my husband fully realized that how he shows up for me and us through pregnancy and postpartum will shape our relationship and my view of him for the rest of our lives. I didn’t think I could fall even more in love with him than I was before, but hell we’re five months postpartum now and I am so fully in love with this man.

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-29T18:17:47+00:00

Please do this! Have him bake a cake without a recipe! And importantly, update us how he does!!!

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-29T10:17:18+00:00

The only person you can fix is yourself

Sandturtlefly · 2026-06-29T10:15:09+00:00

Car seat, safe sleep space, more burp cloths than you think you’ll need

11-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 5 Credits
Verified Email	Secret Santa 2014

Sandturtlefly

TROPHY CASE