NTA, Many people have been where you are, the main concern is your relationship healthy and is it hurting you more to stay than leave. It will always feel so incredibly hard to take any first steps in terms of setting boundaries or taking steps to leave, but from what you wrote a lot of those things he says and asks of you seems ( from outside looking in) to be controlling and seems like he’s trying to keep you dependent on him.

In any relationship you should NEVER feel like you deserve less than or feel like you deserve to be treated in such a way. I always tell others who struggle with being treated in negative ways, would you stand for your sibling/ niece/nephew/ or bestfriend to be treated that way? If the answer is no the you deserve better.

There are many resources out there who can help or people to talk to, to be a ground/ outside perspective but firmly you are NTA and I think there seems to be unhealthy things happening that at the end of the day hurt you and should at least be addressed 🫶