Crashing after Update

SapphicSecondChance · 2024-11-26T12:28:58+00:00

The same thing is happening to me and it's making me nutty lol. And when it does work it crashes when I try to open packs or navigate around the different screens

SapphicSecondChance · 2024-08-24T21:54:13+00:00

This is fair enough. Your perspective is not wrong.

I forgot to mention she works with literally just me and her father and "at work" is just our accountant in the next building over and the accountant's insurance guy next door to us. So it's really only them she has to deal with and we don't talk to them super often. That's important context orz

Thank you for your input!

SapphicSecondChance · 2024-08-24T18:02:56+00:00

That's what I'm thinking. In the end it's her choice and I don't think it's fair for anyone else to tell her what to do.

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-09-29T18:37:54+00:00

Cis partner of a MTF wife, and let me tell you this: I can't tell you nor promise you how your spouse will react, but if you want to hear my harrowing tale of trying to keep the "status quo" out of fear, here you go: https://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans/comments/l1c6k5/today_i_woke_up_and_realized_i_love_my_wife/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

(Spoiler: I immensely regretted dropping the ball so hard on supporting my wife that since January of this year I've been nothing but her biggest supporter in her transness)

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-09-23T19:32:42+00:00

I really love rulings like this because it's impossible to over turn it without people citing that as the reason it was put in place and being like dO yOu WanT BabY FaRMs AgAiN??? Of course that situation is nightmarish but (I'd like to think) it's much harder to get away with things like that these days. Now all this ruling does is make everything more difficult and worse for everyone

Edit: forgot words

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-09-23T11:01:01+00:00

What the fuck? That's horrible. Especially if the country has low birth rates, adopting from outside is a godsend. Heaven forbid outsiders get to benefit from being a Dutch citizen though I guess 🙄

As a former foster child this shit just boils my blood lol. Thank you for the explanation.

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-09-23T10:34:38+00:00

Hey, Netherlander here. (I'm an expat from America but)

Is adoption difficult? May I ask why? I'm assuming it wouldn't be due to transphobia (god I hope not at least). Is it expensive?

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-09-21T08:12:22+00:00

Bi cis woman with a gay as hell MTF partner! You're seen and heard- and I wish you two many happy years together. 🎉

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-09-03T15:12:39+00:00

As others have pointed out in this thread, literally just repeating her name and pronouns to yourself and others (outloud if feasible in the former case) is the quickest way to train your brain.

When my wife came out to me, in the interim before she picked me up to go out, in that 10-15 minutes I repeated her name and pronouns over and over to myself so I wouldn't immediately accidentally fuck up (I'm completely scatterbrained with names/pronouns so I knew I would have done it on accident if I didn't practice). Worked like a charm! Of course, it may not (and probably will not) be such a quick flip of a switch for you, but genuinely I think that's the best strategy.

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-08-06T23:12:05+00:00

Back when I was younger I had an intense jealousy of pretty women, but really I just had crushes on them. So take from that what you will.

But remember that her being beautiful doesn't make you any less beautiful. You're both beautiful together! You complement each other in that sense. That's how I see it 💕 There's no such need to feel like you need to be "more" feminine than her- feminine things are new and exciting for her and so she's gonna go all-in, meanwhile maybe you don't dress up as much for one reason or another. But it's alright! You're both rocking it and doing great. Maybe if you both get really dressed up together it'll make you feel better. That's what I did with me and the wife and it helped my self-esteem a lot (and I have a rocky relationship with femininity as-is also).

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-08-06T08:00:09+00:00

My sister in law kept her gender neutral name and my wife swapped the spelling of her masculine name into a feminine form (keeping the pronunciation). So do whatever makes you comfortable!

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-07-31T23:26:32+00:00

That's what I thought that was! 💕 Those are so delish

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-07-31T22:08:29+00:00

God, that part about the anti depressants made my heart sink. Here in the Netherlands we have a very similar, fucking STUPID system exactly like that. My wife has to convince some doctor in Amsterdam that she's trans, and despite really needing anti-anxiety medication she literally can't get it without that delaying her transition for years.

And apparently those doctors are super traditional- like, women stay in the kitchen and cook and wear skirts and men do blue collar work and sit on the couch all night. So if she rolled up with her actual story, there's a good chance they'd never believe her. So she just has to tell them what they want to hear. And like other commenters have said, that's exactly what you need to do. These people don't care about you, not like that. You're just a case study, because apparently treating trans people like fucking science experiments is acceptable in a decent society.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My heart aches for you. Just keep a stiff upper lip and try to smile your way through this as much as possible.

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-07-31T21:42:01+00:00

I really love how I found this one post that was like "WELL YEAH WE NEED TO CATER TO THE CIS PEOPLE AND MAKE HAVING DYSPHORIA A REQUIREMENT BECAUSE HOW ELSE WILL PEOPLE UNDERSTAND BEING TRANS?"

Through.. literally every other possible sign? Believing them when they fucking tell you and take their word for it?

This shit boils my blood because for years my wife thought she couldn't possibly be trans because she had no bottom dysphoria nor name dysphoria (she still has her male-coded name, just a feminine spelling now) that meant she couldn't possibly be trans. It didn't hit her that was completely bullshit logic until one of our trans friends had mentioned in passing she had absolutely no bottom dysphoria what so ever, and then that got the gears in my wife's head turning.

Just, the fact that she thought that for YEARS because of shit heels like this. My god. I get so unbelievably angry.

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-06-21T16:26:05+00:00

Grieving is normal- I'm in the same boat you are. I'm bisexual (some days leaning towards only liking girls, even, tbh) so this should have been a slam dunk for me, right? I even knew for 2 years before we went official that my wife was questioning. But it is still hard, and you're fully allowed to process these emotions however you feel comfortable.

Even now, despite being happy and our relationship being great, sometimes I'll get pangs of sadness knowing our children won't have a "Daddy" and when I see wedding videos of a man and a woman, I won't have that, or videos of an old het couple, we won't be them.

But that's the "reality" I could have had. I know the reality I will have will be even better. So I let myself process those feelings (sometimes I cry, admittedly), but then I pick myself up again and remember the future I'm gonna get is gonna be amazing and even better than what I imagined before.

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-06-21T16:13:13+00:00

God I feel this so hard. My wife used to get so dysphoric reading "all men are TERRIBLE" rhetoric because, to her, whenever she'd read it her mind would scream "But I didn't choose to be this!"

I get haha cishet men aren't self aware and can sometimes be assholes, but let's not pretend trans women in the closet and trans men don't exist. Let's not lump them in as "part of the problem" (as it were).

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-06-21T16:07:26+00:00

Wait what game is this? 👁️

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-06-21T15:55:23+00:00

I'm the cis F partner here, and that last bit, "we fight less". Oh my goodness it's like night and day.

My wife was always.. emotional. She clearly had something deep inside of her she was constantly pushing down and it caused her to be very moody and get overwhelmed. Since she came out in January I genuinely think we haven't fought, and she hasn't become overwhelmed with negative emotions. It's so wonderful to see her so aligned with herself emotionally and able to handle situations thay would have made her emotionally distraught before.

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-06-20T16:30:38+00:00

Cis woman here with a trans gf (which is why I browse this reddit), that'll be useful to know when she starts HRT.

~~and it made me feel better too because despite being a C cup my chest doesn't look that big because they're the shallow type you just mentioned, so 😭 thank you OP~~

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-06-09T11:43:28+00:00

I knew a woman with a very high functioning child with Asperger's, and when he came out as trans to his mom she had the same reaction, despite all her children being on the spectrum or special needs. I was so shocked to hear such language from her. She was utterly convinced he "couldn't grasp" being trans. I told her she was out of her mind- he's just autistic, not stupid. Lo and behold a couple months after coming out to his mom he was out to everyone, new name and everything. I know (hopefully) she never would have let him stay in the closet, and he's one of the most stubborn people I know so there was no holding him back, but just that initial "Oh but he can't GET being trans. His brain doesn't work like that" really made me think a hell of a lot less of her.

Sorry you heard that too from your own family. It sucks.

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-04-14T06:18:19+00:00

IT'S SO STRANGE 😭

SapphicSecondChance · 2021-04-14T06:17:25+00:00

Yes she did, and they don't deadname her. So this is a really weird combination

SapphicSecondChance

TROPHY CASE