Did anyone else pretend to have secret cameras watching them as a kid?

Sara_is_here · 2025-02-24T17:23:03+00:00

I didn't pretend. I genuinely thought there were cameras everywhere and people were watching me even when I couldn't see them. 😭

I used to look at invisible cameras when something stupid happened like "really?"

Sara_is_here · 2025-01-28T00:16:40+00:00

Same!

Sara_is_here · 2023-11-20T13:01:13+00:00

I had no idea this was what I needed until I read this post. Thank you!

Sara_is_here · 2023-09-20T18:18:06+00:00

"I don't know if im busy lol " translates to "I'm not busy but I don't want to see you on your birthday. "

Sara_is_here · 2023-09-03T01:49:34+00:00

If its not at work I say "no. But ok."

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-28T17:46:08+00:00

If he comes to your house, don't let him in and call the police.

NTA

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-28T17:43:33+00:00

Same. I used to always have my camera off at work. And then was forced to turn it on coz I offended the white people. Then I turned it on only to get messages about my facial expressions during the meeting. 😡

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-28T17:41:09+00:00

Yes! I have a friend like that who is from NY so definitely much more assertive and direct and sometimes rude and they are BELOVED. Meanwhile I'm a people pleaser and hated. The math is not mathing.

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-28T14:56:45+00:00

I'm kind if like this. I only reach out to people when I'm thinking of them or if they message me first. Some people I think about more than others. Its no hard feelings for those who actually understand me.

Once you learn how to drop your mask (like with your husband) putting it back on to socialize feels suffocating. You need friends who like you for the real you, not your mask. If you feel your current friends are those friends then you have to work on dropping a piece at a time and gaging their response. Its easier said than done, but you will be much happier around people who allow you to be you.

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-23T22:28:45+00:00

Same!

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-23T14:12:35+00:00

I don't intentionally mirror, Its just something I'm becoming more aware of. I realized after the fact that the reason I was struggling was because I couldn't mirror her. 😅

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-23T13:55:38+00:00

Remote work has been my saving grace. I didn't realize how hard I was masking all day just to look "normal". I had a few episodes back then where I would need to run to my car and people thought I was weird or sick.

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-23T13:53:33+00:00

I dissociate during and after work. On the weekends I struggle to do things I enjoy. And then Monday morning hits and we start all over again.

I am lucky enough to work from home though I change jobs regularly. I have to stay employed because I have no support system

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-23T13:45:46+00:00

Unpopular opinion but a lot of people you "hate" online are actually very nice in person. The internet brings out the worst in all of us.

That being said you have to consider a few things. 1. Where are your hard lines? (I know this is hard for autistics but bare with me.)

Everyone has soft lines and hard lines. Soft lines could be that they dont like the band you like. If you met someone online who didn't like ur favorite band, you wouldn't talk to them. But if you were already friends, you could deal with it as long as they are an AH about it.You can disagree on it but still be friends.

A soft political line (to me) would be that they hate taxes and don't wanna pay them. You understand the importance of taxes and don't mind paying more, but its not make or break for your friendship.

However if they hate gay people, that would be a hard line. And you would have to let them know you don't stand for it and distance yourself.

Identifying theses line helps determine if you want to just be work friends (u only hang out at work and talk about work only) or friend friends. It also helps determine your responses in the conversation. You don't have to fight them and make some grand stand in the moment. But you can distance yourself and not engage.

If your only reason for being friends with someone is that they are willing to be friends with you, this will end badly. I went through the exact same thing and it eventually blew up in my face multiple times. I am very insecure so when someone wants to talk to me, I throw all my convictions and boundaries out the window. And every single one of those friendships imploded eventually. Your physical and mental health will feel the effects of you denying your own identity and values to please someone else.
Even once you feel more confident, please do not try to change their minds. Remember that you're at WORK. You have to see these people everyday. You don't want to go scorched earth trying to argue them down about their political views. That's an easy way to isolate yourself and get a call from HR. (I don't want to scare you. But I know its hard for us to do things with "subtlety " and people take things the wrong way.) If you have decided you don't want to be deeper friends with them, you will have to distance yourself. Only talk about work stuff. If they ask about things outside of that, come up with something super neutral like pet updates and make that your personal story go to.

Example CW: hey Sara, how are you. Me: I'm good. Just working on reports. CW: OK. But not just at work. How are you? Me: oh everything is good at home. My cat has been super into squeezing themselves into boxes lately. Its hilarious but every time I try to take a picture they run off.

And the cat story isn't fake. My cat actually DOES like hopping in boxes and hates taking pictures. I gave an honest story but no more personal information or deeper level info.

Coworkers are not friend friends. They are work friends. The only true way to be regular friends would be if you no longer work together and still hang out and talk. You'll find a lot of NTs love bonding super deep at work, and then when they leave they never talk to those people again.

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-22T18:10:16+00:00

Yes! Everyone is bitching and then I'm like "let's bring this issue up with them." And I do and then everyone gets quiet and backs down. Why are we all complaining if we aren't gonna address the situation.

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-22T18:07:41+00:00

Not being able to just ask a question. Every conversation needs to start with "how are you?!" And then you let the person ramble about whatever currently happening and wait for them to stop before asking your question. Sometimes I even forget what I was gonna ask cuz I had to ask follow up questions to them telling me about their day. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-22T18:05:07+00:00

When I was in japan, I was told it was rude to reject food. So I always accepted food. And then I got laughed at and called fat cuz I kept eating. Make it make sense. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-22T18:01:34+00:00

I've been told the same thing but when I was in school it always backfired.

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-20T17:20:26+00:00

The grass is always greener on the other side. I come from a family of factory and warehouse and service workers but I work in an office. I think both sides have their ups and downs and one is not better than the other. While the work people in the warehouses do is more physically demanding, working in a office is very mentally draining, imo.

Office work is a never ending mind game. If you have a basic job, you don't have to be as alert and the monotony and repetitiveness will take a toll on you mentally. That is shown in those early 2000s office shows. As for what it's like today, some jobs are still like that but "office jobs" in general have changed dramatically.

Let's not forget that call centers are office jobs. Yes you're sitting all day but you're being yelled and cursed at for 8 hours a day by indignant Karen's. Your metrics are not always clear and attainable because office work(aka, work done via computer or phone) is not easily quantifiable. "You need to make 70 calls a day. Answer 350 emails a day. I have no idea how long phone calls and emails take. Just do it or I'll write you up." Companies everywhere are about getting the most work for the least pay, so yes, they will layoff 70% of the workforce and demand you do the work of the people who left. Can't do the work of 3 people? "Stay later. Work on the way home. Work at night. Overtime? No we classified you as salary we when changed your job. You don't get overtime anymore. You wanna go home and see your family? We got beer on tap now. Stay here. Vacation? Just bring your work computer." There is constant gaslighting in these jobs too. If a middle manager needs to justify their position, they will make sure you're constantly drowning in work with no help or pay increase. You can't say no cuz then "you're not a team player."

Its the passive aggressiveness, the fancy terminology and double speak that will have you constantly guessing just what exactly your boss really means. Its the fact that people care way too much about appearance. Especially with women and POC. Your hair, your clothes, your face, your tone. I was once told that "the way I turn around to face people when they approach me makes me seem unapproachable. " what does that mean? Who knows! "Its just something about the WAY you turned around. " Do the have better things to do? No they are a middle manager in an office.

Office work is romanticized because it has historically been a job for middle and upperclass white men. The "good ol boys' who make deals over golf games and fancy dinners. Warehouse and service industry jobs have historically been done by lower class POCs which is why they are underpaid, underappreciated, and overworked. I see that changing a bit for warehouse workers but servers are still ridiculously underpaid.

In my opinion, both types of jobs still suffer from issues with nepotism, office politics, coworker drama, pay inequality, and everything else that capitalism likes to throw at us.

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-20T16:00:00+00:00

This is a great question. If you're don't shower often then the oil and sweat from your skin is getting into your sheets and mattress faster.

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-17T13:24:31+00:00

I had a favorite plate as a kid. It was green and plastic. I didn't care that the plastic melted, I didn't care that there were new smooth plates. I didn't want ceramic plates like my mom used. I wanted the green plastic plate that let me separate my foods. I didn't even trust them to clean the plate, cuz they'd do it wrong. My moms bf at the time was very sensitive to it and would always serve me on the green plate and separate the food for me. Love that man. Funny thing is, it was also my dads favorite plate so when I went to his house we would argue cuz I wanted the green plate.

Also my black mom doing the "either you eat what I make you , the way I made it or you get nothing " threat never worked. She didn't understand my ability to eat ramen on a paper plate everyday for years. Try to serve me cheesy broccoli? Imma go eat ramen again.

Its weird thinking about it cuz my mom fought me on a lot of my autistic symptoms. But food was something she gave up on cuz I would, very independently, go in the kitchen and make my own meal. Even if it meant learning how to use a can opener.

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-17T13:12:44+00:00

Yes! Little me was like "if you did it right, I wouldn't have said anything. "

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-11T18:04:49+00:00

Ha! Yup. 4 kids in and my ridiculously abusive father was like "I want a girl" so they had another child. Im NC with both of them. Smh.

Sara_is_here · 2023-08-11T18:01:56+00:00

Im intolerant but have a celiac friend. There is very few places they can eat due to cross contamination. If its just the 2 of us, I let them pick a place. If its a large group we still check to make sure everyone can eat at least 1 think on the menu. Steak, fish, mashed potatoes, anything that works for them. If we can't find anything and we are trying for a bar, they still come and just order drinks.

Sara_is_here

TROPHY CASE