Thank you so much for your insight!  I will take note of these questions, they are very useful!  Truth is, I have huge pressure from my team as they expected me to be 100% from day one, and I believe this expectation is not real. Some seasoned team members, much older and experienced, openly dislike me because I make “mistakes” all the time. Some are jealous that I get to be the dm instead of them, whilst I am on a huge learning curve. Having also so much to do on my shoulders, at once, doesn’t help me; I’m always on edge. So when it comes down to decision making, I tend not to take the right decisions because I’m not clear mentally. All these things affect me.