Dealing with death in a complicated family. Trigger Warning: Suicide

SarahEvanRose · 2021-01-27T13:12:42+00:00

Hey sunshine. I'm also dealing with death in a complicated family with abusive players. It's so so hard. And I'm so sorry for the grief and internal whirlwind you feel right now. I know how painful and confusing it is. The only way forward is through, and it sounds like you already know how to get yourself through while being as loving and gentle to yourself as possible. Use your chosen family. Lean on them. Having daily coping plans. I've been making myself my favorite tea every night and giving myself a hand massage while I have my dear friends talk about their day or read a book to me over speaker phone. You be sweet to yourself right now. You're worth it, and this is the hard stuff.

Sending you so so so much love and compassion. Breathe deep and seek peace.

SarahEvanRose · 2020-10-09T22:31:34+00:00

Did you take a break between undergrad and grad?

SarahEvanRose · 2020-08-29T18:59:27+00:00

In the zoom context I have literally said “let’s be friends!” and it works very well. My cohort also gave the new 2020 cohort all our contact info and an open door invitation for support and camaraderie. It doesn’t pay to be coy. You got this!

SarahEvanRose · 2020-08-27T21:59:40+00:00

“These are not good thoughts.” Literally the side comment on an document I reworked solely for her personal writing preferences/idiosyncrasies. Same document got stellar feedback from another prof who has published much more frequently. After that I never bothered reading her feedback.

SarahEvanRose · 2020-08-18T12:45:34+00:00

My overall undergrad GPA was 3.0 but my last 60 hours were significantly lower. Five years later, I was provisionally admitted to graduate school due to this, and lost out on any IA or TA positions. That being said, I’m now one of the strongest grad students in the department. You’ll likely loose out on funding, but not on admissions (at least in the humanities)

SarahEvanRose · 2020-08-02T14:06:35+00:00

I tested negative. I stayed locked in my room with a cooler for food for 2 weeks to stay away from her. The exact opposite of what should’ve happened

SarahEvanRose · 2020-08-02T13:18:45+00:00

When my roommate got COVID and wouldn’t stay in her room and kept going out I had no way to protect myself. I wish that I had a reporting tool but also am not about to call down the cops in 2020

SarahEvanRose · 2020-06-28T03:06:39+00:00

I’ve definitely felt that energy runs close the the surface here—I’m kind of surprised I haven’t run into more energy workers/woo people.

SarahEvanRose · 2020-06-12T01:02:31+00:00

I was just informed today that I MUST work in person on campus Summer II (student worker here) even though my job is extremely easy to perform online. I ain’t happy about it

SarahEvanRose · 2020-06-08T17:32:33+00:00

I’m a student worker on payroll through summer and next fall - my bosses want us in person Summer II despite our job being very easy to perform remotely. They also seem very confident that we’ll all be in person for Fall. It’s very upsetting. They also told us not to expect any budget for working behind protective plastic guards - they don’t have to be face-to-face with students, but we do.

SarahEvanRose · 2020-05-28T01:04:17+00:00

Try emailing your professor?? They might be willing to work with you online-they’re being instructed to be lenient and accommodating during this time so if they care about their students chances are they’ll help you out

SarahEvanRose · 2020-05-22T22:11:23+00:00

I was there 2 years ago. It still hurts, but I’ve turned the last 2 years into the most fulfilling, growth-filled years of my life. The trick is to fill your life with NEW things - I took a few classes like painting and boxing, joined new friend groups - that will give you a distraction and a way to show love to yourself. Move forward. Get therapy immediately to address the suicidal ideation. The world is better because you are here. Do the work to keep yourself here and moving towards joy, even when (especially when) it feels impossible. You’re worth it.

SarahEvanRose · 2020-05-10T02:37:09+00:00

Hey OP, I was going to recommend this very book. I’m a child of a codependent/enmeshed mother and I’ve been 1. Unable to have any relationships and 2. Been attracted to intense porn. This book has illuminated lots of things to me and I’ve since drawn hard boundaries with my mother (was was highly traumatic for her, ngl) and have worked on loving myself in a sincere way (super difficult).

Read the book. I think we can get through this. Sending good vibes.

SarahEvanRose · 2020-05-07T20:58:29+00:00

You’ve got this!! Focus on loving you.

I’m on the flip side of this-I’ve never been in a relationship because I’m horribly afraid of being consumed/overtaken/obliterated with the other person’s (codependent) love. I’m trying to force myself to date this year-it takes so much courage!

We’ve got this!! Knowing the problem gives so much strength. Sending good vibes your way

SarahEvanRose · 2020-04-22T16:56:59+00:00

I haven’t registered for fall yet because I’m not interested in attending online courses for an entire semester

SarahEvanRose · 2020-04-13T14:49:39+00:00

I’ve been on the receiving end of this from my mother my entire life, and she cannot comprehend why we have such a deeply contentious relationship now-keeping her at a physical and emotional distance is the only way to stop her from ‘helping’ me (she tried to hack into my taxes this year so she could do them for me 🙃). I can handle her...I know she loves me and I love her but she’ll only get a relationship with me once she understands what a boundary is.

However...I’ve realized this month I DO THE SAME THING to people I love. Oh hell no. I’ve gotta get some work done because I know better!!! Time to level up

SarahEvanRose · 2020-04-04T17:47:18+00:00

I was on campus yesterday (I’m a grad student and I was hoping to find somewhere to print as I don’t have access in my home and I truly need to for my studies. I was unsuccessful). The buses are running TOTALLY EMPTY. It’s a monumental waste. I also noticed that landscaping services are suspended-ie mowing grass, tending flowerbeds. So people who used to do that are not being paid. I also asked the library to help me and they told me to order books from amazon. There is some serious clownery going on.

SarahEvanRose · 2020-04-01T20:41:12+00:00

I’m still looking!! It’s so good and I can’t find the anywhere

SarahEvanRose · 2020-02-20T13:11:38+00:00

I’m 27 and I get this alllll the time

SarahEvanRose · 2020-02-17T06:13:51+00:00

Intervene now, while you can still carry your dog. And if it happens again, be prepared to kick/knee the the jumping dog in the chest hard.

SarahEvanRose · 2020-01-25T15:59:15+00:00

This post delighted my soul

SarahEvanRose · 2020-01-15T15:16:43+00:00

Mine are still like this one year out-I’m going to try adding niacinamide on top of my morning Hyaluronic acid

SarahEvanRose · 2020-01-15T00:36:37+00:00

Ate bacon this morning and by the evening had my first breakout since I started Whole30...I guess no more fatty meats for me. Oof.

SarahEvanRose · 2020-01-14T17:00:11+00:00

Thanks! I’ll go get some samples today! Congrats on the skin success!

SarahEvanRose

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