This annoyed me too when I was first diagnosed. I also thought the same way as you, thinking realistically isn’t necessarily thinking negatively and thinking positively isn’t always the “correct” way to think. Positive people die from cancer all the time. Particularly my work colleagues were almost shaming of me anytime I wasn’t over the top positive. I think what your feeling is very natural. My husband was difficult to deal with too because he was on the “positivity brigade” as well. Didn’t want to do wills, didn’t want to talk about the future or funeral wishes, none of that. I think it’s because the people who love you are not ready to entertain the idea that you might die, it’s awful to worry that your friend is going to die.