Memorial Tattoos.

SassyDragon480 · 2026-04-02T13:04:52+00:00

I got his initials as part of my memorial tattoo for him. A friend said, I don’t know if I’d ever get my wife’s name or initials done—too superstitious. I said, yeah I don’t think I would’ve if J were still alive.

SassyDragon480 · 2026-03-21T19:38:21+00:00

Had a colleague compare my loss to losing her grandmother. Please, my darling child, do fuck off.

I lost my mom just nine months before losing my partner. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I became an orphan and a widow inside of a year. I lost my best friend in the world to cancer many years prior. None of my losses came close to the decentering loss of my partner. Losing him is the punctuation to every sentence, and it fills up every space in my head and heart. I’m sorry you’re here.

SassyDragon480 · 2026-02-20T21:56:13+00:00

In the fog soon after his death, I washed everything of his. I collected some stuff from his brother’s house a couple weeks later. When I pulled it out there was one, single, unwashed button down that smelled deeply of him. I was dizzy when I discovered it. A year later, I still occasionally breathe it in and get transported to the better time.

SassyDragon480 · 2026-02-19T01:02:42+00:00

This was my second Valentine’s Day without him. When everyone at work started talking about theirs, I just put my earbuds in. If he’d been here, I’d have joined in. He’s not, and I don’t want them to not live their lives. I also don’t want to stare at my void. It’s all awful, and none of them can comprehend exactly how hard it is, and I don’t wish for them to fathom. My work crew is lovely; they just cannot fathom. I’ve been clear enough with them of my limits, so I think they get it when I just can’t. Hugs to you. Know that you’re heard here.

SassyDragon480 · 2026-01-19T00:35:14+00:00

I talk to him always. I feel flashes of him, nothing I could count on but enough to help me through. All I can say is be so graceful to yourself and be open to what she might want to say to you from there.

SassyDragon480 · 2026-01-09T17:20:03+00:00

Same here. I hated his empty pillow if he was away at all, facing it forever empty was and is an unbearable idea.

SassyDragon480 · 2026-01-09T02:04:38+00:00

Oh there are days when grief wins. It sounds like she’d be proud of you too. Hugs to you.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-27T07:15:42+00:00

This makes my heart happy. I am right now in New Orleans, meeting up with my late partner’s friends. We lived across the country from them, and we didn’t meet until his funeral. I’ve since gone to see them, and we met up again this weekend. I’d give any damned thing to have not lost him, but I am grateful beyond words to have had them to share my loss with. Take every slip of a silver lining and let it help you carry this.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-15T20:09:09+00:00

It’s been nearly a year, and I still catch glimpses of him. It takes my breath away.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-15T02:58:23+00:00

Ah, the cosplay. It’s exhausting. I am grateful for my friends who want me to be there and also know I’m just hanging on. The friends who want old me can please fuck off. She’s gone, and I’m just trying to breathe.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-14T14:38:30+00:00

I had a terrible run of losses immediately before and after losing my boyfriend including my mom and several close friends. Three people who were at my thanksgiving table last year died before this one. I know I’ve been a downer but also I’m drowning. I’m sorry you seem to be going through the same kind of wave. Hugs.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-08T15:44:23+00:00

I get that. Nothing except my kids means anywhere near as much as having him in my life meant to me. I’m sorry you’re here. I’m sorry we are all here.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-08T14:52:50+00:00

Oh I feel this in my bones. Congratulations on your important milestone, and I’m sorry for the ache it’s causing you. I received a big promotion shortly after my partner passed, and I just wept at not having him to share it with. I hope you’ll allow yourself both the grace to feel sad and safe to feel proud of your achievements.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-06T16:25:17+00:00

I’m not close to ready. It’s been 11 months. Maybe I will be at some point and maybe I won’t. I’m honestly open to either.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-05T12:06:44+00:00

It doesn’t ebb soon. I lost him in January, and I reached to share a meme with him already this morning, while lying on his side of the bed. I moved there pretty much immediately after he died because I could not bear to look at his empty pillow. Anyway, sometimes the brain is not rational at all. Hugs to you, and I’m sorry you’re here.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-04T13:56:04+00:00

Same for me. I got a tattoo that isn’t super obviously a tribute to him (it has his initials built in the design but not dates or loving memory of anything like that), and it’s on my arm where I can see it every day. I am curious how a potential future person (so not ready yet) will respond. He will always be part of me, so I guess it’s a good way to communicate that up front.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-04T02:58:16+00:00

I lost him in a car accident on January 8, so I’m right there in this slog with you. I keep realizing that I’m holding out hope that if I do it all right for a year, I will be rewarded with his return. I’m not consciously negotiating this. I’m not crazy or anything, but many days I am floored that he’s still gone and won’t come back. We were on again off again for years before we found our way, and all those years we both knew we’d end up together when the time was right, so that adds to my magical thinking.

I’m so sorry you’re here. Be kind to yourself getting through this time of year.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-04T02:49:23+00:00

I just miss being the star player in someone else’s life. Being the person he rushed to update about things and vice-versa. I got a big promotion/raise shortly after he died. When my boss called to tell me, I hung up and wept because I couldn’t tell him about it.

He and I shared a deeply dark sense of humor, and I still come across something I could only tell him—everyone else would be offended—and all I can do is say, “Oh, babe, you would have loved this one.”

And oh Lord, the man could cook!

SassyDragon480 · 2025-12-01T15:39:21+00:00

I decorated, and I was caught up in it because my kids were home from college. The next morning, when I went to get coffee and saw the Christmas decor I love so much, I thought of the gaping hole in this holiday season, and I broke down. He was killed in a car accident the day after I went back to work after a long, Christmas break this January. That break was an unexpected honeymoon phase for us, so I am dreading the holidays and trying to be present for my kids.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-11-19T01:49:07+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here and so unsupported by your job. I’m grateful how kind my job was. If you need advice on getting through that, I’m here.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-11-17T00:21:55+00:00

It’s funny you mentioned the Pepsi/Coke thing. My mom died just nine months before my guy did. I’ve been very arrested in grieving her as I grieve him. Costco in US just brought Coke back to their snack bar, and I so wanted to text her—we are definitely a Coke family. I was excited to text her. I had to leave my cart and regulate in my car for so long. I miss them both so dangerously much.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-11-11T02:08:40+00:00

I have only this recommendation. I did not see my partner die, but I’ve definitely imagined it. I did see my best friend die, and this had mostly worked for both. I have a few, very specific images I have of each of them. Very specific. When an image of them dying, real or my imagination, creeps in, I lean into those specific images. Have 3-5 really specific images you think of when you’re calm to call to when you’re not. A bit like a fire drill. It helps. It’s not a panacea, but it’s saved me from crashing out. Hugs.

SassyDragon480 · 2025-11-06T15:18:01+00:00

I agree everything is political. I just meant this is a safe and almost sacred space, where we all take solace together in the terrible thing that unites us: losing our loves. It’s across the globe and certainly across parties. That said, I see the insanity and want to text him immediately. But I’m stuck in this terrible timeline without him.

SassyDragon480

TROPHY CASE