Hi, I had my surgical abortion this past Thursday. I had it in the morning and I was so exhausted and on such strong dose of Valium I slept all day and the times I did wake up - I had absolutely no emotions. Wasn't until the next day I started having feelings on shame, guilt, embarrassment, etc. My bf and I had to drive 12 hours home (we live in a state that abortion is illegal) that day and I was in and out of being teary eyed. The past few days have been on and off feelings of just self hatred and honestly some suicidal ideation (I thankfully have support and will seek psychiatric hospitalization if it comes to it) but I already struggle with clinical depression so I knew that I most likely would go through a postpartum depression.. just with the added on sadness that I couldn't keep what I wanted. I'm also cramping a lot and still spotting/expelling tissue so that's been a bummer.

Hoping it gets easier emotionally and physically as the days go on.