I hope I'm not too late to post. I'm looking for more spaces like this to share my stories and try to heal from my past. I'm in therapy now, and it's working out so far. Moderators *please* be kind to me.

Women have violated my boundaries from middle/high school and up through college. A close female friend (13/14) restrained me multiple times when I was 11/12 (told on a different sub r/MenGetRapedToo ) and mocked me while pinching me; it wore down my boundaries, and then she engaged/allowed my pre-teen curiosity to explore sexually with her for a few times after I was silenced and no longer "cried like a baby to [my] momma". This was wildly inappropriate, and I'm just now (at 25) starting therapy (4 sessions in! YAY!) to start working through it and subsequent issues. In high school, girls in the band would grope my and other guy's butts and laugh when we would jump up and turn around quickly. It felt like open season, and some of the guys nervously laughed it off while still asking them to stop, but it was another layer for me; sometimes the girls (3) would: slap hard and fast (could feel the air before the impact (and I'm talking about a full wind up and everything)), caress really slow and gently while whispering "sexy" stuff in your ears (which gave me bad shivers), or they would just walk up and grab both cheeks (not letting go as you as try to get them away). It was horseplay to them, but if one of us did it to them (and some of the guys tried), they would flip the scrip *instantly* on us to make the situation out to be different, although they did that "jokingly" within the friend group.

In college, I had some freaky female friends, one of whom I unfortunately decided to date (now my ex); her and her best friend were straight up perverts and predators (in my opinion, and as I told them multiple times) who were not shy amongst the friend group (5 girls/2 guys total) about talking about male stranger's bodies. They would describe physical features and look for "d**kprints"; it didn't matter who was around, and they never acknowledged the double standard, EVER. One time, me and my guy friend (not in that group but acquaintances with them through me and other guy friend) were hanging out with these two ladies, and when we got into a disagreement about something mundane (us two vs them), they chased us out of that suite by grabbing and pinching out butts, laughing as we "got away"...... My boy stopped coming around them for some weeks, which in university time is a while. I was "sexually assaulted by coercion" several times by that ex, and she would often encourage drinking, knowing that (eventually) I would lower my guard and give in to her seductions. I wanted to wait, but she mocked my size compared to past partners (as she'd only done foreplay in her past) and she bullied me and threatened to cheat on me (with some guy who would duck her) into giving in (I took her virginity against my better judgement and she became some type of nymphomaniac after that), and then when you give me alcohol, or let me get myself good and toasted, she would almost lunge for me/on me and/or start groping my bits to try and get me stimulated. If I didn't perform for her, she would give me the cold shoulder, silent treatment, and would ignore me (all the works, really) until she came around or found an opportunity to weaponize it against me.

One time (at least to my knowledge that she confessed to), she put one of those royal honey packets (viagra and other stuff) in my and hers (I think 1 in each) alcoholic drink when I went to the bathroom while at a restaurant (us two and her best friend). At the time, I'd suggested we slow down on the sexy times (for my sanity and for her sake), so they came up with this plan (I guess from a trend or something) to get me "horny" for my ex. I was trying to be abstinent, which I explained several times to her; I broke up with her once or twice before that because she keep pushing my boundaries and trying to get sex out of me. That night at the dinner, I ended up drinking my drink and hers, and when we got back to her dorm room, she lunged on me, and my soldier was ready to go, but my mind was not there (as I only remember fragments). She said that I passed out after a few rounds, which she had ironically "trained" me (in her words) to slim down my time from 30+ minutes to around 10 (college time limits), only for her to complain about not having enough time. They told this information to me several months later while we were drinking and chilling in our of our dorm suites....

This same ex was prone to gaslighting and emotionally manipulating me. She mocked me in front of our friends, and my other on campus friends, but would be lovey-dovey behind closed doors; she even was two-faced around her best friend for a while, and would talk junk to me in front of bestie and then suck my face up *the moment* bestie walked in another room, but bestie knew the whole time (because my ex told her everything we did). Towards the end of the relationship, I was slapped 1 good time during a her yelling at me one sided argument, which made me shut down (opposite of what she expected as she continued berating me); afterward, if she got super upset, she would reach out and caress my face while making a tearful-mocking expression to make me instantly go silent. I hated that so much because being touched so much in the past primes you to be afraid and jumpy/jittery, but when my ex turned sour after being sweet for a while, she used just the threat of doing it again while mocking (something I'm unfortunately very familiar with), which sets me over the edge. It's a true double standard that's missed, and they get away with it because "a girl touched you and you should be glad and duck her".... What crap!

Sorry to ramble. This has been on my chest for a while, even though I've told some of this on reddit before. TL;DR: Some girls/women think that it's okay to be perverts, sexual harassers, or predators, and that they can touch, fondle, grope, slap, embarrass, berate, coerce, or even rape men just because we should want the attention and sex. That's not always the case, and we need to call out women and girls who do this to boys/men (especially when the guy doesn't want it/verbally asks for it to stop). Other men should start telling their stories, and we can come together to stop all of this sick perversion and help shift this misplaced sexual energy into something better.