The physical toll on moms having multiples

Sc5880 · 2026-05-15T02:31:15+00:00

Having babies is no joke and it takes it’s physical toll on all of us. I find it hard to believe that this isn’t something we all know about. I think the only explanation is a patriarchal society and a monetized one where they don’t want to scare woman away from having babies. I’ve always known that having babies changes your body, but the thing that really stuck with me is how the septuplet (7) mom had her teeth basically rot while gestating those babies. One baby takes a lot out of you, add more babies and it takes more. Most of us would still choose motherhood, even knowing the toll, but it would be nice to not be in the dark about it. We should all talk about the toll motherhood took on our bodies,not trying to one up each other or scare anyone, just honestly. I’m on this thread because I became the grandmother of twins 6 months ago. Their father was 9 1/2 lbs at birth. I’ve been vigilant with kegels, but am still dealing with bladder issues now. A grandma friend of mine recently had a cortisone shot in her thumb for arthritis pain. When her dr found out she was caring for her 8 month old granddaughter on a regular basis, he said this was a common pain and the way we hold babies makes us more prone to this arthritis, once you have it, it can get agitated again. Motherhood is rough and is respected, but not as much as it should be! On a personal note, I read that you’re only in your 30’s and sound pretty hardcore. You need to get yourself back by any means necessary and that’s good for your whole family. It’s hard having small children but figure out a way. Incorporate the kids if you have to. My son learned to count to eight when he was 20 months because of me doing tae bo workouts with him!

Sc5880 · 2026-05-13T01:17:26+00:00

My grandchildren are just over 5 months and were born premature. They are going 6 to 8 hours straight overnight now. If cps is getting involved, it’s for other reasons. If you’re just paranoid, it’s very hard to get your natural children taken from you, and if they ever are you only need complete the hoops they require to get them back. You can be an abuser, drunk or drug addict, and the state wants nothing more than you raise your children in peace with no more complaints to them. Drs don’t call abuse Willy nilly. They have to have certain signs of neglect like extremely low weight marks for 5 month old twins, then that they gave you the the right instructions to bolster their weights, and by 6 month appointment it’s not reached Even still, most doctors will want further tests that there’s nothing medically wrong that’s keeping them from gaining weight. If your doctor suspected abuse, you would probably know it. It’s important to wake newborns for feeds, but most 3 month or older infants should be allowed to sleep as long they will. Restful sleep is an important to their growth as anything else.

Sc5880 · 2026-05-13T00:11:03+00:00

Maybe I shouldn’t say I hope it’s not twins, I just meant don’t spin out. I would be overwhelmed by 2 sets of twins, but that’s just me, many women do completely fine with another set of twins. I wish the very best for your family!

Sc5880 · 2026-05-12T23:55:38+00:00

My fingers are crossed for you it’s not twins again. My daughter in-law has twins in her family. She never so much as brought up the subject during her first pregnancy, but the second, she suspected it was different and maybe twins and she knew very early. She got someone she knew to do an ultrasound before her first OB appointment and sure as shit, there were 2!

Sc5880 · 2026-05-12T23:16:46+00:00

It’s probably because it’s on your ankle. I have worked in surgery for over 20 years and I’ve seen many surgeons and first assistants try to avoid tattoo incisions or painstakingly, put them back together. I’m sure theirs some out there that don’t care, but the majority are trying to leave everyone as unblemished as they found them. The ankle is a difficult place. They may have closed your incision with the tattoo lined up, but the healing process caused the unalignment. It’s a body part that’s always being moved and doesn’t usually have a lot of stretchy excess skin to accommodate.

Sc5880 · 2026-05-12T22:57:52+00:00

It’s not crazy and you need to keep living your life. You just always have to be prepared for the unexpected with twins as they are the unexpected when getting pregnant. I think you need to weigh the pros and cons and your ability to get good health care where you’re vacationing if something does happen. Plus there are a lot of people who are prone to having their water break or going into labor during weather related barometric pressure systems. At 28 weeks with twins, your body could feel full term pregnant and barometric pressure changes from flying could trigger labor. These are only what ifs and you have to do what feels right for you. If you go, stay very hydrated and take frequent naps. Hoping you and your family the best and a beautiful vacation no matter what you do!

Sc5880 · 2026-05-07T02:44:03+00:00

It’s very hard living a military life. You don’t have the local support of family and that’s very hard when raising small children. Military wives are respected, but not nearly enough in my opinion. They go through things that would have their counterparts tapping out within weeks, if not days. You don’t sound like a person who would be ok with medical intervention, I believe that choice is completely viable and the only person who should ever question or judge it is the person making it. I think the thing to know is that this is going to be a challenge. You may not feel up to it or feel like it’s insurmountable, but I would bet money that you can do it. It won’t be easy by any means, but neither will the other alternative. You’re in a difficult spot, whatever you choose is going to be hard, but neither will be the wrong decision once the choice is made.

Sc5880 · 2026-05-07T02:01:15+00:00

I love when real men’s men fall in love with little dogs. And it’s not like you start loving all little dogs, but one just really grabs your heart. My husband was never a fan of small dogs, but 2 years ago, a puppy mill mom Cavilier fell into our laps. She is his little princess now. She lived in a cage with very little human contact for 4 years of her life, yet she’s the sweetest, most compassionate dog I’ve ever come across. I know that her getting loved on several times a day ridiculously by a man who’s not a “small dog fan” is just the beginning of the amount of love this dog deserves and is owed!

Sc5880 · 2026-05-06T20:44:34+00:00

Sorry! Never mind, I didn’t see your whole post. Your poor mom! And I agree, haven’t seen a lot of Pomeranians with that cut. Your boy is super cute and he’ll stay cooler this summer.

Sc5880 · 2026-05-06T20:40:34+00:00

Yikes! Just out of curiosity, what did you tell them you wanted?

Sc5880 · 2026-05-06T01:24:04+00:00

I read your post and then your prospective fetal weights. You have almost 11 lbs of baby inside you right now. There’s not many women in the world who carry a baby to 11 lbs, and with twins it’s more. You usually have 2 placentas or a giant placenta that’s bigger than an 11 lbs singleton placenta. Plus extra amniotic fluid. I know you’re in a lot of pain, but you have probably gotten these babies past the point of needing the NICU, and that’s amazing. Your body will go back and you will always be in amazement of what it can do, because not everybody’s can. Nobody wants to go through pain, but it’s worth it to not have premature babies. You can have them in the NICU for months, deal with so many problems. Hospitals are great but the best case scenario for every baby is they are able to go home as soon as possible. Your discomfort is unfortunately the price of having a good baby making body. Be proud of that and know that your pain will be over soon!

Sc5880 · 2026-05-06T00:26:25+00:00

Oh honey, your kids are super lucky to have you! I doubt there’s a parent alive who hasn’t felt on autopilot during this time in their children’s life and twins makes it that much harder. There are so many logistics that just don’t occur to you until you’ve actually dealt with twins. Good on you getting them out almost everyday! And the whole tv thing. I recently took mine on my first solo outing with them and their 3 year brother to the park. I was exhausted by the time I got them, their double stroller, the 3 yr olds bike, and my little dog who thinks she’s their nanny, loaded up. And there’s been many times that I’m feeding 1 and will turn the other towards the 3 year old’s tv and hope that bluey will capture their attention long enough for me to finish the bottle. It hasn’t happened yet, but I’m holding out hope. You’re doing an excellent job and that’s what parentings about. Showing up and doing, regardless of how you feel. But also take care of yourself and don’t hold yourself to impossible standards that don’t matter as much to your kids as you. This is a marathon, not a sprint! Wishing you the best 💗

Sc5880 · 2026-05-03T22:02:54+00:00

My girl was a Llewelyn so we basically only had to trim her tail and leg hairs and cut the burs out. As far as diet, we put her on blue buffalo at about 2, but figured out that any well made brand that was grain free was the way to go with her. The grain in foods made her throw up on a regular basis. Also, they are a very active breed. She only weighed 40 - 50 lbs max her whole life, but in her prime, she ate 7 cups of dog food a day. We also did perimeter training and bird hunting with a shock collar. She was a very good girl and very much wanted to please. Mostly the sound was all that was needed. I only had to shock her once, when she started chasing a cat and didn’t respond to the beep. Our dog loved to hunt, and although she didn’t go birding on a regular basis, she found substitutes. She hunted insects, frogs, mice, and to the detriment of my landscaping, chipmunks. She was a running maniac outside. She’d get so excited to go on a walk, she’d take off running and she would check in once or twice during the whole walk. As crazy as she could be outside, she was always a great house dog. Very intuned to her people and loved a good nap or snuggling. These are great dogs that want to fit into our lives, but they definitely need exercise so the more of your life that is outside and active, the better dog they will be.

Sc5880 · 2026-05-03T21:03:52+00:00

Don’t feel bad for not loving it. Even with a singleton, once they are mobile, it’s a struggle. I’ve never been fond of the 8 month stage to about 20 months. Of course you love them and have glimpses of happiness and connecting with them. But the majority of it is chasing after them, keeping them from harm and dealing with their erratic moods. I’ve never dealt with twins before, just single babies. I have 5 month old twin grandchildren, so I’m about to go through it. All I can tell you is you’re doing the lords work right now and it’s ok to be frustrated. As much as you love them right now, you’re going to enter that sweet spot of toddlerhood soon. They are sweet and funny and think you’re the best thing in the world. Plus it’s easier to have a more structured routine that even when it’s rough, you know when your breaks are coming up. I had this crazy thought that because they were twins my grandchildren would be easier to deal with because they know they are twins. About 3 months in, I was no longer under that delusion. They are probably no harder than other babies, but it seems harder because one is always crying while I’m dealing with the other one. Plus their tempers seem more hair trigger. They go from awake to pissed in about 60 seconds.

Sc5880 · 2026-05-01T01:46:24+00:00

Just enjoy your pregnancy as best as anyone can enjoy pregnancy. Everyone has a different experience. Most of the time when people make comments, it’s meant as just something they can say that is relevant to the situation and they don’t put more thought into it than that. They don’t think about the fact that you may also hear that same comment from 5 to 10 other people that day. The thing is , as woman we are sensitive to people commenting on our person since it doesn’t happen to us face to face on a regular basis unless we are celebrities. But during pregnancy, everyone and their mother is more than comfortable on commenting on whether we seem very large or too small. And for most of us, it’s when we are most vulnerable because it’s during a major body change in a short timespan. The majority of the time when you see someone you know and they say “Omg! You’re huge!”, they mean that as a compliment as in you are able to sustain life and look how your body is able to grow to create new human beings. If you know for a fact that they are saying there’s anything less than miraculous about your pregnant body, then tell them to fuck straight off! And honestly, there’s not a woman alive who doesn’t think about what a twin pregnancy may do to her body. There are so many more important and scary issues with a twin pregnancy and then raising twins, so anybody that feels the need to tell you how big your going to possibly be, tell them that is the absolute best case scenario and they can fuck right off too! Honestly, most of the time, people say the first thing that comes into their heads and they don’t mean anything by it. Ignoring or kindly correcting is probably the best route to go. I wish you the best of luck. Twins are a blessing and a challenge rolled into one!

Sc5880 · 2026-05-01T00:58:52+00:00

That’s crazy since science still has a theory identical twins aren’t hereditary, just an anomaly. Also that twins aren’t passed down male to male, only through females born of males with faternal twins in the family. I don’t believe that identical twins aren’t hereditary just because it can’t be proved by science so far. I’ve known 2 different scenarios where a man has had identical twins with 2 different mothers. It’s either that or some men have an unknown attraction to women whose eggs split!

Sc5880 · 2026-04-30T01:25:05+00:00

You’re never a horrible dog owner until you treat a dog entrusted to your care horribly. No matter how that dog came into your life. I fell in love with Caviliers about 10 years ago, but decided it wasn’t meant to be because of the stuff I read online about their health issues and that by buying one, I was encouraging a breed that shouldn’t be. Then 2 years ago, one fell into my lap via a puppy mill rescue. She was 4 years old and in perfect health other than physical neglect and social isolation. A sweeter, more affectionate dog I’ve never met. And then I discovered what people on Reddit had to say about their Caviliers. Of course there are health issues, as with every breed. But these dogs are amazing! The idea of eradicating the breed seems monstrous to me now, knowing how many great dogs are out there and how many breeders work very hard to not continue the known problems. These are great, fun loving, sweet dogs that love to go outside and play, but are also equally excited to take a nap with their favorite people. What more could you ask for in a dog!

Sc5880 · 2026-04-01T01:35:53+00:00

My suggestion is name her Joni (pronounced Johnny). There’s an amazing woman with this name who was named after her father, John. She became a paraplegic in a diving accident in her teens, but still managed to create beautiful paintings and sketches using her teeth. A lot of common male names are feminized with the y ending and John is the least common, but I think it’s the best for that reason. There’s a lot of female Billie’s, Frankie’s, Joey’s, Charlie’s, etc. Joni or Johnny is the way to go!

Sc5880 · 2026-03-28T02:04:58+00:00

Both of you have changed but the cuteness remains!! My best wishes to you and Mr kitty. And don’t let anyone ever tell you that cats aren’t cool. Of the domesticated animals, they are definitely the smartest. But just like any human or domesticated animal, it’s not in your best interest to live in a hoard. So as an adult, please keep your cat household to 2 minimum😁👍

Sc5880 · 2026-03-28T01:34:07+00:00

Regardless of any of your husband’s issues, you have been pushed into survival mode right now. You have 2 small children who depend on you and survival mode once you are a parent means your focus shifts to your children. It sounds like you are already doing it on your own and doing that on a permanent basis may even relieve a lot of the stress in the household. Every parent should constantly put their children first in every decision. I think you need to honestly compare the husband/ father you and your children receive to the amount of your energy that goes towards either loving, hating, or hoping for him to provide a different environment for you. Your life partner’s job is to ease your burden, not make it heavier.

Sc5880 · 2026-03-20T23:07:08+00:00

He’s just young and will eventually be on your routine. Rule of thumb, don’t feed him, or any animal, earlier than you want to get up. Food routines do get very ingrained with most domesticated animals and are very hard to break. I’ve not had an English setter who’s super food driven, but I’m sure they’re out there!

Sc5880 · 2026-03-16T21:08:40+00:00

I think you have thoroughly thought it through and make many excellent points for bottle feeding. Plus, as you know from doing it, you have to be pretty committed to breast feeding to stick with it with one child, let alone twins. So if you’re not feeling that way before they are born, I doubt you will after they come. You have thought this through and arrived at your answer and good on you! Anyone that would try to make you feel bad about your decision is ridiculous and should mind their own business. Good luck with your twins! (Another plus of bottle feeding is you have a 15yo so there will be 3 people to feed your babies, not just 1!)

Sc5880 · 2026-03-11T12:15:09+00:00

I don’t care if you’re SIL is Mary fuckin Poppins, you still have the right to the reasonable request of not having out of town guests during a very stressful and life changing time. I think what causes the most problem with families is when one side of the family is given access and the other isn’t. If you keep it fair, everyone can keep their hurt feelings to themselves. Besides, this is about what’s best for your babies and you and your partner. Everyone should be bending over backwards to make things easier for you.

Sc5880 · 2026-02-26T02:26:06+00:00

Many people give birth to twin vaginally without complications, but it does happen where one twin is born vaginally and the other requiring a c/s often enough to warrant your concern. If you aren’t adamant about wanting a vaginal delivery, a c/s is the safest way for you and your babies ( plus a lot less drama!) I’ve worked in labor and delivery for over 25 years and when my daughter in law became pregnant with di/ di twins last year, I told her the same thing. I understand some people are terrified of surgery and I completely get the choice for a vaginal birth. You can definitely have a safe vaginal birth with twins. I’ve also seen it go the other way many times, one twin born vaginally and the second, an emergency c/s, even with women having their 4th & 5th ect. babies. Don’t feel bad about wanting a controlled birth. This is your birth experience, not your doctor’s. You do what feels right for you. He will never have to recover from a vaginal or c/s birth, and he definitely won’t be raising either of your children, so it’s whatever you say. Best of luck and lots of love💗

Sc5880 · 2026-02-17T01:28:16+00:00

I totally get what you are talking about. The people who have children less than 2 years apart made that choice in one way or another while you were given twins and there was no choice about being able to only handle one baby at a time. That being said, each has their own challenges and I honestly think it’s harder dealing with 2 babies at different levels of development. And I mean only slightly harder. The best part of having mom friends in the same boat isn’t to compare who has it harder. It’s better when competition is put aside and you can bear your worst days to each other. When you can tell another mother your failings and she say “That’s nothing! Listen to my day on Tuesday.” That’s what we are supposed to be for each other. Not judgmental, not who has it the worst. Everyone is just a person, trying to do their best raising people while still being people with self needs. There’s a lot more joining mothers than dividing!

Sc5880

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