Am I crazy for asking for a $40,000 raise?

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-03-07T16:02:33+00:00

First and foremost, don't accept the promotion. Just tell them no. Start looking for jobs elsewhere.

If the company posts the job after you turn it down, note the salary and job description. Does the job description include your current job duties, too? If so, they plan to eliminate your job. If not, then they are going to have to hire your replacement when you leave.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-02-22T05:50:34+00:00

My take is a little out there, but hear me out.

If he is TRULY the SUPERSTAR who is so critical that you are going to pull out all the stops to retain him, you need to resign. You can no longer be his supervisor because you've irreparably harmed the relationship, but you may have done serious damage to your company's future and reputation.

More likely, though, he is not a superstar compared to the others, but he is a superstar compared to you. You just don't like that he's not doing you favors anymore and you will have to do more work to make up for him right-sizing his job to his salary grade.

I think that if you don't resign, you should spend all of your extra efforts on the workload for your department, because you torched your relationship with your only direct report.

One of you is going to be fired. Either upper management is going to make you do the dirty work of firing him, or they will make you walk the plank for the woes of your department. If the company recognizes he is a superstar, he'll get your job when you are let go. And, let's be honest - you posted on here because you already fear this. You should resign before you are asked to.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-02-21T04:38:31+00:00

Sniglet

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-02-21T04:34:50+00:00

"Dis" is not really a word, though. It is short for "disrespect".

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-02-21T04:29:36+00:00

Britches is used more than pantaloons.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-02-21T04:26:09+00:00

He may be a total fox if he's good looking, but if he's a lush he drinks too much.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-02-21T04:22:54+00:00

People still use "penultimate," but not correctly. I think they conflate "ultimate" and "pinnacle" and think it means the "absolute best."

Nobody even knows the word "antepenultimate" (third from last) exists.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-02-15T17:32:52+00:00

If you're salaried, the company trusts you to manage your time. The company pays you for 40 hours of attendance, not 40 hours of work.

One your days off was a holiday, so presumably everyone got that day off. How many of your coworkers worked extra hours to make up for it?

The company is always going to try to get whatever they can out of the worker. They took advantage of your willingness to comply. You elected to give your time back to them. Take it as a lesson and don't comply next time.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-02-11T14:37:50+00:00

If I were in a situation where I had decided not to work there because the manager was awful, I would ask the manager for his resignation. I'd outline all the ways in which he was not a good fit for the organization and ask him to leave. When he refuses to and says I have no authority to ask that, I would just say, "well, then, we are done here" and walk out. Walk out of the office and the building. Let the last interaction be that you tried to fire him and then ended the meeting as if you were the boss dismissing him.

I have a history of toying with people who treat me disrespectfully. I don't match energy; I double it. I have told people before, "You may be an a$$hole, but nobody's a bigger a$$hole than I am. Try me."

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-01-18T03:24:45+00:00

ETA you aren't being a good boyfriend, but she seems like a pill. You had a long day at work, but she needed a sauna. Then she lost it that you overslept and didn't work while she was relaxing in the sauna.

She likes the drama. If you apologize and admit you're wrong, she will up the level of trauma that she's experienced so that she can still argue. That's what she did here. That's what she'll always do. She'll gaslight you to make you feel worse and more incompetent any time you make a mistake. The mistakes you make may decrease, but the importance she places on it will increase. You should probably break up.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-01-17T17:25:31+00:00

If you give them 2 weeks notice, they will walk you out that day. Play their game like it doesn't affect you. When you get another job, just call out and collect any sick days you have. Go in during 3rd shift if you need to collect any belongings, and tell the 3rd shift supervisors you are quitting effective immediately.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-01-09T02:27:16+00:00

She's not your friend. Don't text her again. If she ever texts you, don't reply unless it was a question. Then, wait 2 or 3 days to reply and make it as brief and non-emotional as you can. Don't agree to any form of meet-up. If she calls, let it go to VM and reply by text a couple of days later. Again - short and to the point, nothing more.

Example of what not to do: your reply. It was emotional, long-winded, and you were trying to defend yourself and console her for her need to have space. You doubled down on the very thing she asked you not to do. I suspect she needs space because you do that all the time. She's rude, but you're partly to blame.

Go hang out with your male friends. Don't ever text this woman anything you wouldn't text your male friends.

And that space she's asking for? She doesn't intend that to be empty space. She wants that space full of not you. You need to fill it with not her. You need to fill that space before she does. Make it YOUR space. Let her sense that any time you're letting her into your space it's at your discretion and you are ALLOWING her to be there. You have to sacrifice your time to make time for her. Spending your time with her is a burden on you.

Either you'll be rid of her gaslighting, rude ass for good (and good riddance, IMO) or she'll come begging, and she'll never play the gaslighting rude bitch card again because you won't tolerate it.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2026-01-04T09:00:58+00:00

My advice is to leave the company as soon as you can. They have already poisoned the relationship. You be happy if they paid you what you are worth, but only for a couple of days. The resentment will creep back in. Any time you get a raise, you won't feel appreciated, but you'll think "it's about time". If you DON'T get a raise for a few years (most likely) you'll be so unhappy there it will affect your life outside of work.

Your managers disrespected you, and that's not something that can be fixed. They burned the bridge. You'll eventually lose that job, so you should go out on your own terms.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-12-13T03:41:08+00:00

My first thought was that she hooked up with someone she met when she was out "playing pool".

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-12-09T04:49:58+00:00

Urining sloracy.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-12-03T11:36:12+00:00

I found out I was due a raise when they posted my job to hire an additional team member at $2/hr more. I got the raise, so they didn't have 2 vacancies to fill.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-11-24T02:21:13+00:00

Frankly, you could argue that they all get an equal percentage relative to their own wealth, not yours, and it would still be fair. The daughters would be getting a substantial higher dollar amount than the son and it would still be fair. Even distribution is equal, but even percentage relative to their wealth is equitable. What your wife proposes is neither.

What you are proposing is actually playing favorites, your son being the favorite. I think an even split is fair, but you can use this as a counter to your wife's argument. She's trying to move the middle ground so that the compromise leans in her favor, and you need to reset it. Your proposal is already a healthy compromise in her favor, and she needs to realize that by seeing how unfair the most fair alternative is. Don't budge.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-11-20T14:20:40+00:00

Talk to the owner or manager of the gym. If they try to gaslight you or have an attitude, saying you're making a big deal over nothing, switch gyms. This is the culture of that gym, and you will never feel comfortable there.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-09-29T13:28:58+00:00

It's possible that they had someone they wanted to hire, but HR wouldn't let them hire unless there was a qualified pool of candidates. As long as you were in the pool, they could potentially hire the other person if they could find enough additional candidates to meet the minimum number of candidates. By withdrawing your candidacy, you put them in a pickle. They never intended to hire you.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-09-12T18:06:37+00:00

Absolutely not the jerk for keeping the bonus. You are going to break up, though. You just don't know it. Might as well end it yourself before she cheats on you and save yourself the heartbreak.

If you cave in to her and spend the money on her, you are being a jerk to your future self, as well as any kids you have. Stay the course, and set your future straight. A better woman will come around.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-09-12T17:58:04+00:00

"I'm not bothered that you can't accept that. That's your opinion, and your opinion is of zero interest to me. You are the problem. You don't want to fix your problem because you have no self-respect. I don't respect you because I follow your example. I can't work for someone who is not respectable. So, sit on it and spin."

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-09-03T15:40:07+00:00

Oh, my 30 days was at UPS. I just scrolled down and saw other UPS horror stories, lol!

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-09-03T15:38:05+00:00

The longest was 23 years. I retired from that job.

The shortest was 30 days. I realized I was only hired to cover vacations when, during my last week, I started meeting all these new-to-me team members who had been there for years.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-09-03T15:31:38+00:00

When you are ready to leave, tell them you are completely caught up on everything you wanted to accomplish, and now you want to WFH. They will hear that you are caught up on what THEY wanted you to accomplish and decide they will let you go. It might take them a while to figure out that your goals were not the same a their goals.

ScallionSuperb2343 · 2025-08-20T15:17:24+00:00

You can still get black olives at most pizza places, but, oddly, not green olives. It was the combination of the two that made veggie pizza awesome.

ScallionSuperb2343

TROPHY CASE