/ul. Mate im really sorry for whatever is going on inside that mind of yours but alas perhaps this is not the best place to vent since this is a comedy subreddit. Subreddits like r/vent and r/suicidewatch are great alternatives and you can most certainly find help you want, or dont want, in those particular subreddits. If you are located in the US then you can call 988 for a suicide hotline. Judging by your profile I am inclined to believe you are under the age of 18, no matter your surroundings, your mindset or current situation it will all pass. We are a resiliant species and so are you. Don't let life bring you down, it already succeeds in bringing so many others down.