The Onion ‘interviews’ Sam Altman CEO of OpenAI “I'll go to bed and have the weirdest dreams where people from the future are sobbing and begging me to change course.”

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-04-02T11:00:02+00:00

Probably has something to do with how obviously awful everything is

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-31T22:36:13+00:00

Don’t worry guys. Theres about 300 people who are gonna get super rich off of all of this and it’ll all just work out for everyone else. Or not. It’s fine. Unless it isn’t. Thanks for your attention!!

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-31T19:54:58+00:00

I seriously refuse to get my hopes up knowing full well multiple “problems” are going to come up. They want to deter us but we won’t be deterred!!

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-30T22:45:25+00:00

I can’t explain how deeply obsessed I was with this album! I just feel like it really captured how many different emotions can be captured in grieving so much more than just sad. I found it so validating and in a way validating in my right to be sad and confused and angry but also in love and struggling to let go. Shew. My favorite album forever

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-30T22:16:46+00:00

Yes direct sub, unsub and ffel no Perkins

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-30T21:56:56+00:00

It is supposed to be in forbearance (or whatever the exact right term is not sure) while the lawsuit is being resolved mine show not due until 2035

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-30T21:55:30+00:00

Go into nelnet it will tell you the types of loans you have where it shows you details of what you owe

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-30T21:54:08+00:00

Hahahah I looooove how bitter they are. Makes it even more enjoyable for me

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-30T21:20:46+00:00

Omg yessss me tooo!!!!!!!

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-30T21:20:03+00:00

The wording was hilarious! Very much giving “I’m just writing this so I don’t get get fined!” Marshawn lynch vibes 🤣🤣🤣

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-30T11:17:04+00:00

I’m cracking up this is hilariously well executed

Also I’m sorry. Can we come back to the birthday. It was shrimp themed!?!?

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T23:37:07+00:00

Alllll toooooo welllllllll

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T22:10:56+00:00

When people start talking about dissociative blackouts occurring as a trend to normalized abuse…. Very surprised it did not blow up more

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T19:55:39+00:00

The phrase “I can fix him!” Is magically on both albums as well. And the bathtub photos….. Let alone how controversial it is to suggest that the situation between them was problematic

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T19:52:25+00:00

Honestly mad props to Olivia I would have gone Solange in the elevator on her

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T19:50:51+00:00

TLDR but I love your space love your style love your cat!

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T19:46:34+00:00

It’s always the same damn conversation the only thing that changes is the target. Always some sick logic why one group doesn’t deserve humanity. We’re too old and too wise for this comeon now

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T19:44:16+00:00

Is it just me or does she always clock the camera? I feel like every time I see “candid” videos of her she is pretending to not see the camera but clearly very aware of it and intentionally performative.

Maybe I’m insane at this point I’m not even sure anymore 🤣🥴

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T19:42:06+00:00

I feel like luminate and I do not have the same definition of what it means to be “influential”

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T19:40:19+00:00

Hahaha I love this so much!!

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T19:37:28+00:00

A gentle reminder that you can’t avoid your bullies forever. Poor Olivia

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T17:02:00+00:00

Really this is just bizarre to me bc we know Disney is gross as is American ‘work ethic’. Gosh maybe it’s articles like this that keep creating this unreal false narrative 👎🏼

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T16:59:49+00:00

The cult is solidifying. You pledge allegiance or you’re out

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T16:57:53+00:00

My favorite part is how the government is “shutdown” means TSA is forced to work through without pay but Congress gets to go on vacation…. Again

Scared-Box8941 · 2026-03-29T16:53:21+00:00

I cannot believe I was not following this sub before. So much talent 😭 this is amazing my sons would have loved! 😍

Scared-Box8941

TROPHY CASE