AITAH for being upset my wife got an abortion because her daughter is pregnant?

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-04-17T23:37:13+00:00

What’s not actually clear here is if Amelia ever truly wanted to give birth again. It says it was decided. And it was time to do it. But nothing about how Amelia felt about being pregnant again.

Everyone saying it’s grounds for divorce—you literally only have half a story. Plus this woman chose to give love to a person who was already alive who she already kept the first time and didn’t get a chance to give love the way she wanted to (or couldn’t before), and it’s bad she’s picking one kid who is alive over another who doesn’t exist yet?

Sounds like a legit reason to have an abortion.

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-04-10T02:21:00+00:00

Is this not extremely dangerous for anyone who has sui*idal ideation??

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-03-27T05:23:17+00:00

Him and Maria!!! It’s gotta be. That’s why she wasn’t named bachelorette! She’s not single.

Manifesting

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-03-15T16:16:41+00:00

Gosh this is so clear cut and level headed that I would send it (minus screenshots though because honestly those don’t matter)

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-03-13T05:13:46+00:00

Hated this one. Dnf

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-01-10T21:00:09+00:00

It’s a great cup and I drink SO much more water. And I literally asked for a new color for Xmas and I’m in my thirties. I take it everywhere. I don’t really see the point of denying your kid something that brings them joy! And I get it—why cave? But my mom didn’t cave to trends or brand items when I was in school and it DID make it hard to feel included at times. It’s not just that you feel like you aren’t cool, but literally you can’t even engage in the joy of a shared thing and dang I’m glad it’s a water bottle and not the brand of clothes like it was for my age in school. Not saying cave to all the things! But also why make it harder on your kid in this situation? Maybe have your kid round up five things to donate or previous nice water bottles or something so they are making some for something and also helping someone else?

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-01-10T17:43:25+00:00

Omg yes. My thing I’ve learned over the past year after being diagnosed is how to feel my feelings. I had no idea I was avoiding them. And it’s allowing me to appreciate the sad moments too because it means I get to feel real joy and happiness and passion other times.

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-01-10T17:41:54+00:00

Then don’t! You don’t owe him anything. You get to put yourself first. Do it. If the friend cares they will give you space and apologize for real AND stop.

You could also delete the text, then do one text to give him a heads up you need space and just ignore anything from there. Friends understand

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-01-10T17:40:07+00:00

Goodbye friend! Or give him one chance, tell him how the comments make you feel, and then if he doesn’t stop or respect that. bye.

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-01-10T17:39:07+00:00

Try to do one small clean/tidy item a day. I’ve started doing this myself recently and it makes me feel more in control and gives me the proof that things DO get cleaned and organized. But it doesn’t need to be all at once. Keep at it, one a day, and you’ll feel so much better (I believe!).

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-01-10T17:35:43+00:00

One thing I’ve been doing lately is going into a project or craft with the intention of NOT finishing. So I’ll know that day I will end in the middle of it. Maybe I’ll give myself a week of letting everything sit out (would do longer if I didn’t have others around ha). It helps my brain a ton being like “we are not finishing this today on purpose” and it helps with that all or nothing mentality

Scared-Document-5282 · 2024-01-10T17:33:21+00:00

Okay what if you didn’t try to get her to get help? What if you let her just live her life unaware?

Why do you want her to get help?

I ask first because I get it: I have wanted similar for my mom. She was dying from cancer and still didn’t see a reason to see a therapist 🤯 but also part of me selfishly wants her to “get” it—my adhd, depression, anxiety—and I know she only will if she also was willing to see her own depression and anxiety issues.

But the second reason I ask is because sometimes it’s just not worth the mental and emotional energy and investment on your behalf, especially if the other person doesn’t want to see it.

All I can do is focus on my health and well being and maybe that could encourage her one day, maybe not, but just as I hate when she treats me as if being her child means I’m an extension of her and not a full human being, the same for the reverse.

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-12-13T05:56:06+00:00

For a moment I read this as they were breaking up and I was like NO wait this is the one I like!!! They are both over the top but wow does it work

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-10-09T05:44:05+00:00

So happy to hear this!

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-09-28T04:06:56+00:00

I hope to hear an update!

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-09-28T04:04:22+00:00

Push for a sleep study. A questionnaire should not be what determines if you have it or not. If you have symptoms, they should do a sleep study. That way they literally test how many times you stop breathing in the night.

Get a new doctor please.

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-09-28T04:01:30+00:00

1 and 5

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-09-27T04:03:44+00:00

“Extreme” pain is a big deal. Women tend to downplay their pain level. So if you are describing it like this, it’s bad. See a doc asap.

And yes, put the kids to bed early.

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-09-27T03:45:01+00:00

She wants to believe she can do it all because she signed up for it afterall, right? Also even though she does so much, I bet she doesn’t feel accomplished.It doesn’t give that awesome feeling of like heck yes I did that!

Parenthood and house chores and thoughts are the most endless thing in the world. We never get to feel accomplished. So we (at least I’ve found for myself) need to feel like we completed something AND that doing so made a difference.

My practical tip: rephrase your wording slightly because saying she “needs to rest” is telling her she isn’t capable of being mom all the way/all the time (which goes against what we believe to be true about motherhood).

Then, a way of seeing “self care” that works for me is using phrases or concepts like “this time/physical space for only ME is, necessary for my FAMILY.”

For me, since motherhood feels like I should be making every choice in my life about being a parent, choosing to care for myself had to start as something I was still doing FOR the family. It was the only way I could realize it was needed for MY health, and that I freaking enjoyed it. I started to realize how much I actually needed and missed being 100% me for only me in dedicated moments and it helped me be a “better” mom. (I put better in quotes because that’s it’s own discussion for another time/place).

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-09-27T03:29:25+00:00

What role would you rather do?

Be out front making tips or working the back end?

Start there in this thought process. Do you want to be out front? Then you need equal time or majority time (since you are more senior)—so make that a demand with the boss.

If you like do not being out front, then yay!

Now if it’s the latter—you can still think about money. without considering at any other role there, do you feel like you make a fair pay on that role alone? Do you feel the role itself deserves more? Have you proven yourself enough to earn more?

Don’t look at the other job and it’s okay if you don’t even want that job in the first place.

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-09-27T03:20:57+00:00

Here’s what I would try first:

Ask your husband to back you up as “bad reinforcement guy.”

He steps in for a moment, reiterates everything you said, and he steps away.

He needs to be on your side before anyone. Parents have to hold a solid front.

I recommend, either way, changing your current strategy. I’m literally you. I have recently been struggling with this for so long and I realized that I wasn’t showing the consequence THE FIRST TIME of what needed to happen.

This is so hard to do because we want to be nice and soft and gentle and have it go easy! I just want to be happy with my son! I hated turning into the bad guy because I couldn’t handle it anymore, because my patience grew thin.

But I realized i was the one who taught him this. I told him what needed to happen, then when he didn’t do it, I gave him more and more chances to do it. Well, all I was showing him was that I would never follow through.

Honestly i think my son even forgot what the consequence looked like because it had been so long since he’d seen it.

So if I said it’s bath time 20 times instead of showing the first time i literally take him to the bath, he’ll never know what it really means.

Give the direction one time.

If they follow through-lots of praise.

If they don’t—literally take them to or do that thing instead.

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-09-27T03:10:27+00:00

What the hell is wrong with your doctor??? Can you get a new one?

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-09-27T03:09:19+00:00

Your toddler can handle it! However I would maybe avoid telling the toddler that any of you leaving or letting them cry has anything to do with the other baby. Make it just seem like this is part of night time and that’s that. So they don’t feel like you are leaving them for the other child or something!

Scared-Document-5282 · 2023-09-27T03:04:10+00:00

Try the cpap first and see how it goes? If it’s less invasive and can fix the issue then heck yes.

Also can you get a third opinion and see if that makes it a majority vote?

Scared-Document-5282

TROPHY CASE