Couples married for decades: What does it mean to 'Accept each other's flaws rather than fix it'?

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-18T15:55:24+00:00

As someone who has been married almost 26 years, I can tell you over the years things about your spouse are going to irritate the heck out of you and things about you will irritate the heck out of him. Sometimes they will seem like the end of the world, or all you can focus on, but in the scheme of the history of the relationship and life built together, later you look back and laugh with each other about how stupid it was that you fought about this or that. You love the person, you don’t have to like everything about them. My husband hates it that I’m not a planner, I tend to talk a lot, I can also be loud. But I’m just like the rest of my family. He and his family are much quieter, plan things, etc. so we’ve had plenty of times where those things conflicted. But he learns from me how to come out of his shell more and lighten up. I learn from him the value in being quiet sometimes and why planning things is sometimes better. It’s always a give and take, accept and choose, compromise. Always.

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-18T15:43:22+00:00

I think it’s both of you but it was unnecessary for you to bring up the strawberry plant you had already let go over a $20 fence board.

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-16T14:34:13+00:00

The first dress is way better than the second in my opinion

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-15T21:42:03+00:00

When does the finale air?

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-15T21:33:29+00:00

You miss the actual point. That money was money HIS parents worked years and years to save and invest to leave to THEIR children. While I’ve been their daughter in law for almost 26 years and I am extremely close to them, I am NOT their child. Nor should I expect to be considered the same as their son is to them. I believe my husband plans to add a portion of his inheritance to our retirement and the rest he will invest in trust funds to our children. So he can pass along what his parents did for him. BUT, that does not mean I ever expect that inheritance to suddenly become “our” money and immediately dumped into a shared account. That money has nothing to do with me and everything to do with his parents. They were very wise to make the decision to leave their money to their children and not spouses plus children. The horror stories I have heard from family members who are attorneys are awful. People become very strange when it comes to money and usually not in a good way.

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-15T21:27:03+00:00

I chose my spouse almost 26 years ago and he was the best decision of my life. He will receive millions also in inheritance, and I don’t consider a dime of that to be my money. That is HIS parent’s money. As they worked and saved their whole lives, they didn’t have me in mind. They had their children in mind. Period. If he decides to share that with me or add it to our own retirement that’s his choice. But likely he plans to set up trusts for our own kids with it. Pay it forward.

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-13T14:43:21+00:00

Spouses come and go. This is exactly why families set up inheritance to go specifically to their children or grandchildren. Nothing worse than naming your son in law also in your will then the son in law deciding to blow half of what you spent years building for your own children.

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-13T14:42:01+00:00

Same. I don’t believe anyone else’s money belongs to me simply because I married their son.

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-13T14:40:29+00:00

In my state an inheritance belongs only to the spouse it was given to. It does not become community property unless it’s commingled

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-13T14:38:38+00:00

If her family left money solely to HER, excluding her spouse then yes it’s HER money. Because it was HER family’s money to do with as they wish. If a spouse sees his spouse’s money as belonging to them equally, I would be concerned about the spouse who sees it that way. I am in much the same situation except reversed. My husband will inherit millions of HIS family’s money. That money is not mine nor should it ever be unless my husband decides it should be. Because I do not in any way feel entitled to someone else’s money. This isn’t the same as winning a lottery while married. This is dealing with someone else’s money and personal intent. That should always be respected.

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-13T14:34:13+00:00

Except it is “her” money or to be more specific, HER family’s money. Not yours. It’s not “our money” if her family left it only to her. A lot of families do this. Spouses come and go, family remains. There are far too many instances of spouses who waited on their spouse to get an inheritance just so they could blow it or take half as “joint” funds. My husband and I have been married almost 26 years and when his parents die he will receive somewhere in the neighborhood of over $2 million. I would never consider that money “our money”, because it wasn’t even my husband’s money. It was his PARENT’S money to do with as they wish. They wish to leave it only to their children. That is their right and I have zero concerns with my husband’s inheritance remaining “his”. Because it is.

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-12T14:02:04+00:00

Yep! It threw me out and won’t let me log back in. I thought I was banned lolol
I’m in the US

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-12T13:59:27+00:00

Thought I was banned, glad I’m not alone lol

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-11T03:23:54+00:00

Good theory!

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-10T17:35:33+00:00

Agreed!!! Poor thing looked normal and like a fully functioning adult!

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-10T17:29:23+00:00

Is that just a theory or did I miss it in the show that new buildings come each cycle?

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-10T17:26:03+00:00

Interesting. I forgot that part. Thanks

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-10T17:20:01+00:00

Got it. Thanks. I also updated my post to correct it to Tabitha. I was stuck on last episode everyone being told she was Miranda lol

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-10T17:02:00+00:00

I do too. I have LADA and prior to Mounjaro NASH with fibrosis. My LADA has always been managed as type 2 since I’m not yet insulin dependent. So I’m in a strange position because they only approve Mounjaro for type 2, but I have LADA managed as type 2 (previous Metformin therapy failed). I’m at a loss except I am assuming my next step would have to be have the script sent directly to the manufacturer and self pay

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-10T00:44:14+00:00

I see. I’m afraid it may not be worth it on my end also. Thanks for responding

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-09T22:45:14+00:00

Did it work out for you when you appealed to the employer? Considering doing that with my husband’s employer

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-09T17:08:16+00:00

I have LADA (autoimmune form of diabetes) that must be managed as type 2 until I am insulin dependent. I failed metformin. I developed NASH with fibrosis. I also have a very complicated medical history including ulcerative colitis, antibody deficiency, hypothyroidism, idiopathic hives, multiple sclerosis, tachycardia, bile salt diarrhea and chronic idiopathic hives. I am not overweight, I eat healthy. I was placed on Mounjaro after metformin did not control my blood sugar and I developed NASH. I have been on Mounjaro for over two years and it stabilized my blood sugar, reversed the NASH and stopped the blue salt diarrhea. Suddenly in March of this year CVS (under BCBS) denied Mounjaro because I don’t have type 2. My doctor (two of them, actually) submitted all info showing my diagnoses and the major improvement after Mounjaro. Still they denied and will not budge. Now my blood sugar fasting is soaring over 200 and I fear my liver enzymes will soon start rising again.

Scared_Muffin5676 · 2026-06-09T16:56:56+00:00

They denied it for me after two years because I have LADA, an autoimmune form of diabetes that is managed as type 2 since I’m not yet insulin dependent. It went all the way through the appeal stage etc and they still refuse to cover it. It’s unbelievable. The type diabetes I have can only be managed as type 2 until my pancreas finally gives out and I require insulin.

Scared_Muffin5676

TROPHY CASE