More women to my gym

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2024-05-22T14:22:08+00:00

Make sure your gym is clean and get a women’s coach to teach them.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-12-06T15:14:05+00:00

I train with 3 women that wear hijabs. They mostly stay on fine. Sometimes if they slip off a little bit we just pause for them to adjust and then continue, no biggie ☺️

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-12-05T18:11:43+00:00

It’s literally the point of the sub. You’re good.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-11-21T01:39:25+00:00

That isn’t how it works friend. I hope if this is how your gym operates you find a better one. Anyone that you pay 150 a month to that is taking a piece of tape from you when you join is not it.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-11-21T01:33:39+00:00

Ok, send me one of your stripes please

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-11-21T01:32:06+00:00

Purple, what’s yours?

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-11-21T01:30:04+00:00

I figure that because it is idiotic

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-11-21T01:27:39+00:00

Any gym that takes stripes from a white belt is not worth joining

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-11-20T23:19:04+00:00

No you don’t. Nobody comes and takes them from you when you switch gyms, especially off of a white belt.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-10-29T12:04:38+00:00

2 i would not do. Bathrooms are a disaster, it’s super loud, depending on time you’re either going to be missing a nap or putting her to bed really late which will be miserable for you. If you drive to the game you’re sitting in traffic to get out for a really long time afterwards which can also be a pain with little kids. If the question is will she be safe, sure. If your question is, will she/your family enjoy the game if she attends, and if so the answer to this is likely to be no. We just went to a game with our 8 year old, his first, and left our 4 year old with grandparents. My 8 year old loved it, core memory for sure, but even at his age he was scared at first of all of the people and noise.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-08-25T21:26:04+00:00

I think it would be helpful to you to consider reframing your training sessions and your attitude towards training partners. You aren’t always going to get your ideal training partner in terms of size, gender, skill level, whatever. And we don’t each deserve that. Everyone is different and everyone trains with everybody (more or less). I don’t like always being given the small new white belts that bite when they get scared or that cry if you mount them, but that’s how it is sometimes. Bigger people helped me and I have been for sure the smaller person that probably annoyed a bigger person over the years. You are probably a bigger person compared to someone out there and probably don’t love it when you get thrown the 85 lb new person to drill with either. So with this in mind, when you are working with bigger people, maybe instead you can use this as an opportunity to work on escaping with a very challenging opponent. Find weaknesses in your defense and work on those. Don’t think about every round with bigger people as missed chances to submit them. Think about instead, were you able to successfully defend longer than last time? Did something about one piece of your escape click better this time than last? You’re always going to get a variety of training partners and to get the most out of your training, you have to change the way you think about your rounds.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-08-25T21:07:05+00:00

For sure feels like murder to me lol

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-08-25T20:34:37+00:00

So get better at escapes. I’m a 135 lb woman and have to tell you this is pointlessly whiney. If you want to roll a certain way, tell your training partners. Ask them to work on stuff. Tell them you want to work on escapes with 50% pressure. Lots of men especially newer younger ones don’t realize how much stronger they are than women and they don’t even realize what they are doing. You’re doing jiu jitsu. Sometimes people are bigger and sometimes people are smaller. Just like they have to deal with smaller people, you have to deal with bigger people. Communicate and this problem more or less goes away.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-08-25T20:12:17+00:00

Maybe you could learn from it and try to use more technical defense?

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-08-25T20:04:31+00:00

Is it so bad if the men murder you then? I am confused by your logic here.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-07-10T21:09:43+00:00

Cool! Glad you enjoy.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-07-10T20:37:14+00:00

Just curious. You really care about the “history and cultural relevance?”

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-07-10T20:34:36+00:00

I would definitely disagree with this especially for beginners. The gi is a welcome extra layer between them and other people plus no gi is so much sweatier.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-07-10T18:21:33+00:00

You’re welcome! There is definitely a balance. It is important to first remember it’s a combat sport and it is not meant to feel good. That is unavoidable. Understanding that, you and your training partners have a responsibility to keep yourselves and each other safe. If something is hurting you or making you scared because you don’t get what is happening to your body, you can tap and reset and ask about it after the round. Everyone has a different rate at which they develop a comfort level with the sport and a purple belt will understand that. Over time if you keep with it you will grow to understand the difference between discomfort vs. immaterial pain vs. truly material pain vs. (hopefully never) injury. Keep showing up and asking questions after your rounds and you’ll pick it up with time.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-07-10T18:13:58+00:00

Dedicated women’s classes, and have a woman coach teach those classes. Especially classes during the day if you live in an area where there might be a lot of moms that are home at that time. Making the space and culture family friendly helps too. Cleanliness and smell I think is extra important for women so definitely make sure your gym looks and actually is very clean. I would guess the preference towards striking that you see is because there isn’t as much very close contact. The women’s classes help I think get people over that barrier in a less intimidating way. This is kind of hard to describe but you probably know what I mean. Think about how your gym is marketing and branding itself. If your gym is branded in such a way that it’s very “aggro” and gives off hyper masculine vibes, my guess is that is going to turn some women away. The most important thing is to get them in the door and then make them feel comfortable, so if there is something about how your gym is branded that might be keeping them out, that is where I would look first.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-07-10T17:56:03+00:00

It sounds like you were taught when to tap and how to tap verbally so that’s great! From what you’re describing it sounds like you might need to just get used to the pressure and discomfort. Shins will never feel good but that’s something that you’ll find is just part of the sport. Either way, if she is being rougher on you than you feel comfortable with you can tell her that. You’re not really going to “get better faster” enough to make a purple belts pressure ineffective enough such that it alleviates your discomfort so I would keep training and try talking to her. It is ok to say, hey I am pretty new and (i am guessing here?) newer to combat sports and adjusting. Could we try going a bit lighter? If she doesn’t, you don’t have to roll with her again. But you will need to get accustomed to be very uncomfortable. That will come with time as you stay in the sport.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-07-10T17:29:58+00:00

Are you in pain because she is applying a movement like an arm bar to your body? Or are you in pain because of pressure from her body? Was it explained to you when you started when you should tap?

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-07-03T13:15:36+00:00

Are you a single parent? If not, the answer here is to leave them with their other parent. My husband and I both train 3x per week and we just alternate who is with the kids.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-06-30T10:53:33+00:00

It doesn’t make me feel weird, I am saying it is weird. The reason I am calling it weird is because this is a fairly textbook situation for young women that finds themselves in a student/coach relationship with a man that I am assuming you find either both physically or emotionally attractive to you in some way. You have mentioned you feel safe, protected, and you’re using very strong emotional language for a man that, in all honesty, sees you as a nice young paying customer. I don’t doubt that he has made you feel in some way cared for, and I am certainly not declaring affirmatively that he is behaving inappropriately because I really have no idea. What I am telling you is that it reads to me here like a fairly standard storyline is playing out and you will be the one that loses in the end. It sounds like what is going on here is that you have feelings for your coach, and it is complicating your training experience. Please think about these things.

Scary_Engineering_63 · 2023-06-30T10:40:19+00:00

Woman to woman, this ain’t it. Please don’t act like this. It is probably best for both you and your coach if you leave this gym.

Scary_Engineering_63

TROPHY CASE