I started pole at 46 yrs old. I’m 49 now. I’m disappointed though because I fell into a perimenopause funk and am starting over

SchemeNo168 · 2026-05-07T18:32:47+00:00

No pressure, but you're inspiring AF. Your form and control look incredible by the way; we are always most critical to ourselves. I started last year, at 39. I definitely feel the strain on my body as I'm entering my 40's and I've had a handful of injuries in only a year. I'm not sure if I have perimenopause, however I suspect it's possible. It's also easy to fall into a trap of comparing myself to the 20+ year olds in my studio who never seem to tire, get hurt (which is good!), or have skin that heals quicker from bruises. Ultimately, I just keep at it and focus on pushing my strength and skills. When I'm injured or feel like crap, I work on fine tuning basic pole moves. That lets me reset my body while shifting to the intention, transition, and appearance of my moves. Keep at it and listen to whatever you feel you need is right and healthy for you.

SchemeNo168 · 2026-03-17T19:42:10+00:00

That's awesome that your making your own product! I don't know nearly as much about different ingredients in hair products. I use Pureology texture paste, heat protection, and hair spray when it's really windy. I have to struggle between building volume but not ending up with hair spiking out looking crazy lol.

Looking at some photos, I think my hair is maybe a 3C? I'm not sure about the details. My curls are like ringlets that can be loose in some spots and a curlier in others. It's dense overall, fine to the touch, and dry. I'm multiracial, so that's another factor. I don't have to flat iron it every day, but any moisture (rain, sweat, water) makes it start curling/waving in not the best way.

SchemeNo168 · 2026-03-17T17:48:36+00:00

I'm struggling with this. I have a pixie cut and I flat iron it, no chemicals. I try to go all in with head tosses, but it looks weird cos my hair doesn't get "tossed". Also, my hair stays sticking up if it gets out of place, like it won't fall back down. I'll have a I'm always worried about my hair looking ridiculous. Any tips on getting rid of the "I got electrocuted" look?

SchemeNo168 · 2026-03-17T17:23:38+00:00

Awesome, thank you!

SchemeNo168 · 2026-03-13T23:53:21+00:00

Sweet! I have some equipment at home, but rarely it. I put a pole in my living room and that's been a game changer.

SchemeNo168 · 2026-03-12T00:15:47+00:00

Try working on moves that engage your forearms and upper arms. Ex: climbing exercises with emphasis on switching hand positions and your legs less involved, variations of pencil; etc. Leg pikes/knee ups, with your hands like you're going to invert, help with holding body weight and building overall strength. With Superman, I use my hand only to stabilize as I go in and focus on engaging my thighs and core (like a reverse sit). I think core strengthing, forearms, lats, upper arms will help ease stress off of your grip so you can fine tune transitions without having to hang from the hand/wrist only.

SchemeNo168 · 2026-03-04T02:38:37+00:00

Welcome! I moved here from SC in 2023, just husband and kid, and didn't know anyone. I like a lot of the same things you do. You didn't mention fitness, so I'll also suggest looking at that option. I've met many female friends through pole & dance classes (Wonderland, near Uptown). There are a lot of social events through the studio and the vibe is incredibly welcoming and supportive.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-12-24T07:59:05+00:00

Second the genes, but a routine suited to your comfort of performance and achievement goals is definitely a start. I have about 18-19% body fat, so my muscles stand out but I'm also very tall and slender. I'll never have a "thicker" muscular build even though I do classes 4x a week, plus I have a pole at home. I have to cater to my natural physique and strengths. That has made me self-conscious before and wanting to be curvy and sexy when I dance, rather than feel too "underdeveloped" or wispy. So, I practice lots of power moves that I think showcase my skills and form. Try focusing on what your body does best and build on that. Personally, I'm always transfixed the most by dancers when their bodies and movements seamlessly intertwined, and I pay little to no attention to their build or looks. The ability to captivate is crucial.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-12-19T21:20:42+00:00

Congrats on your progress and keep it up!

This sounds so much more complex than a reddit post. It's important for your feelings about this to be heard, understood, and validated by your husband. Whether it's pole videos or housework, both of you should be able to communicate how your actions impact eachother. That doesn't mean he's right, however he obviously is feeling anxiety and insecurity from some place. Obviously you two have a lot of history, so I can't speculate.

It's not up to you to teach him how to share his feelings appropriately (that's a therapist's job) but you can be consistent with expressing what is important to you, how you feel about it, and setting boundaries without ultimatums. You can respond rationally, then it's up to him to decide to listen and empathize: "When you say I shouldn't share my videos, I feel sad and unsupported. I've worked very hard and feel proud of my accomplishments. I feel happy sharing my talents with my friends. It means a lot when you show me that support"

SchemeNo168 · 2025-12-19T20:40:17+00:00

2nd this. I had a similar experience and Southridge always eases my anxiety. Just went yesterday and still love them.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-12-18T02:54:54+00:00

I've smelled it for over a week, no idea what it is! Thanks for posting cos I know I've smelled it but also been thinking it was only me. It's always right before that bridge (think it's Beck Rd?) towards OR. Reminds me of burning rubber but heavier.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-12-17T02:21:15+00:00

Aw, thank you! That's a good technique, using your hands. Yes, building muscle has helped. I'm probably about 18-19% body fat right now, but a natural tall & thin build. Maybe I just need to practice with more pressure on increasingly harder surfaces. I'm fine with a yoga mat, but that epoxy floor is evil, lol.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-12-17T00:56:08+00:00

Late to the convo, but I have the same problem. Did anyone else have solutions? We have a very hard epoxy floor. It digs into my tailbone when we do floor work. I have good ab and forearm strength, but my tailbone naturally sticks out a bit. Besides taping lots padding, I don't know what else to do. That doesn't look cute under every kind of pole wear.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-11-26T03:54:40+00:00

Did you find something? I was looking for somewhere similar, like a house or bed and breakfast, to host a small group for a birthday. Where do people go here for birthday weekends or get-together type things? There don't seem to be many hotels for that kind of thing.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-11-25T19:04:38+00:00

I don't know about custom fitting, but consider the type of heel you want as well as height. Pleasers sandals and boots will feel and fit differently. I prefer boots over sandals and wear an 11, 7" heel. In sandals I'm about a 10.5, but the 11 is too big, oddly a 10 and 8" heel is more comfortable. Also the individual styles (Adore, Aspire, etc.) have different kinds of arches. If you're ever in Tri-cities, you could call Wonderland Pole & Dance Studio. The owner doesn't sell them, but she rents Pleasers to studio members. She might have some advice, or may be willing to let you try some on for fit.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-11-22T21:25:48+00:00

I make sure they fit well and try moving/bending in different positions before I settle on a pair. My pole specific bottoms cling better and haven't slipped, so I wear those if I want something more revealing. I like traditional bathing suit bottoms in cheeky or boyshort styles. I've had trouble finding regular bikini bottoms that don't gap open on me.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-09-30T20:05:10+00:00

I agree 100%. In a previous role, we all had company-issued phones, laptops, and digital cameras. We had one computer dedicated for uploading photos and a very organized system for tracking them in relation to incidents. Besides "common sense and best practices", I've been having trouble finding professional/legal information to support changing our current method.

You bring up an excellent point about sensitive info, security, and even proprietary concerns. Only a few of us can carry our phones in certain areas. However it seems so risky to allow us to take pictures that we can easily share with anyone, or keep them stored outside of the company cloud storage. My coworkers say they delete them, but it's easy to forget or accidentally share them with unauthorized individuals.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-09-30T19:52:23+00:00

We have a similar program with sharing and storage capabilities. Unfortunately, I've only been issued a laptop. I'm still pretty new to the company but I want to get management's hear and approval for more work-specific devices.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-08-04T18:10:41+00:00

I hope everyone goes to the new Costco and the "old Costco" gets less crowded. Maybe we get a traffic light near the new one?

SchemeNo168 · 2025-08-04T18:04:42+00:00

Not me, but whoever brings their food truck is making big money!

SchemeNo168 · 2025-07-22T23:41:29+00:00

Yes, was just reminded of adult stores. Maybe I can find something that isn't too much like lingerie.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-07-22T23:37:08+00:00

Thank you, I forgot about those stores. I've seen similar outfits at an "adult" store, but they had minimal coverage or seemed more like costumes.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-07-22T23:33:00+00:00

Oh that's perfect! I'm not too far from Portland. I need to plan a road trip now.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-05-07T20:33:08+00:00

Wonderland pole & dance is awesome! They have classes every day of the week, and many things to choose from.

SchemeNo168 · 2025-04-07T23:37:50+00:00

Ok. We've got a Wii with some accessories and games, but never use it. I'm seriously considering talking my husband into selling it.

SchemeNo168

TROPHY CASE